Calm and Cold in 2020s

I slept pretty well, and I know I had tons of dreams along the way, but I don’t remember them. This is probably the last day I’ll get decent sleep for a while since my schedule is pushing into prime storm time.

This weight loss thing is really getting strange. I’m losing weight as if I were thyrotoxic or young again, which I’m definitely not. I didn’t even lose weight like this when I was young and able to diet it off. I hit 157 again, but usually, when I lost weight in the past, I’d zigzag down the scale. The first time I hit a new low, it wouldn’t stick. It would take a few days to a week to reach that low again before it would finally hold, and I’d eventually hit the next lower weight. Also, since my thyroid crashed, I usually jump up a pound or two even after just a few bites of food. But last night, I got hungry, got out of bed, and had a piece of toast and a few sugar-free caramel chips (which I have to eat sparingly so they don’t upset my stomach). I weighed myself before and after eating and found I was down half a pound. I thought the scale might be off, so I had him weigh himself, but he’s still 262 and struggling to get into the 150s.

I asked Tom if he was sure the dietary changes could be affecting my weight this drastically, and he feels pretty sure they can. When I had AI tally up my sugar intake for yesterday, I was surprised to see I’d had 22 grams of sugar and 1600 calories. So it’s not like I’m doing anything drastic. I used to have to drop to about 1000 calories a day to lose weight before my thyroid crashed. Almost half of the sugar came from the protein bar I ate, and I do eat a lot of fruit, so much of it comes from that.

I’ve got a slight pain again in the area where my gallbladder used to be, similar to the pain I used to get from that but not exactly the same. It comes and goes. I doubt it’s connected to the weight loss, whatever it is. I’m not sure if it’s just gas or maybe a little inflammation, though I don’t feel gassy right now.

I wish I could just be happy about the weight loss! I don’t know if I’ll lose any more, but I really wish I could get over my fear of the potential effects of the medication if I do. It’s just so weird because I feel like I’m not even trying to lose weight, and I don’t feel like I’m suffering or being deprived by the new diet. Sure, I crave a little variety here and there and change things up sometimes, but I don’t miss candy, ice cream, or anything like that. I miss wine more than sweets, but I’m getting some tomorrow. Also, if I have the energy when I wake up in the late afternoon tomorrow, we’re going to KFC. We decided it’s okay to eat out once or twice a month. I think I’ll get the three-piece chicken tender dinner with a biscuit and fries.

If the weight loss is mostly due to the diet, I wish I had done this 20 years ago when I started gaining weight! But it might have been harder to stick to then because I was hungrier, especially during PMS and perimenopause.

I could find out how much of it is diet-related by not taking my vitamins for a week. If my TSH is lower than I think, I’d probably go back up a pound or two. But I still think I’m too cold and calm for it to be a low TSH.

Anyway, I’m going to take a couple of ibuprofen for my stomach pain and enjoy more of the clam linguine I made.