8 AM Hurry Hurry in Hello

My freaking mouth is hurting. It’s two teeth part of a bridge or crown or whatever you call it. Last week(?) I bit down on a hard part of a chicken tender from Popeyes. The pain has since increased and a salt water rinse isn’t doing it.

So I’m waiting for the dentist to open. I’ll see what my options are. I really don’t want this part extracted but depending on cost I might not have a choice.

The point I was trying to make (badly) in my last entry is the little bitch that is the addiction in my brain weakens me. When I get to thinking about alcohol I’m wearing myself down mentally. The fact I recognize that this is usually one step away from a relapse, stop and correct myself and talk it out, is a great sign.

There is one person I didn’t reach out to. I feel as if I’ve been bugging them a lot with a stream of messages throughout the day and I really feel like I’m putting the weight of burden upon them. My issue is my issue, not theirs. Though I think deep down a lot of the feeling stems from embarrassment.

An ex once told me I’m like a child, you have to slap my hand and tell me no. I feel like that sometimes, a child. Or rather the addicted part. Standing in the corner, pointing and laughing. “Ha ha, if you don’t tell on me I’m going to go do something stupid!” Maybe even feel broken some. Maybe even weak. The message would read, “The alcohol has been on my mind.”

No one wants to be a therapist.
But I am glad they are my friend.

The potential lawsuit has been on my mind, too. I haven’t heard from the insurance adjuster yet so I’m hoping that’s a good sign. If I haven’t heard anything by the end of this week I’ll call them Monday.

This toothache is giving me a headache. Someone toss me some antibiotics?