fuck fuck fuck in Bittersweet

  • Aug. 31, 2024, 12:51 a.m.
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A bit ago B told me he lost his job. And we were like ok. How can we help. I got him some handy man stuff at my office which has been getting him some money. I asked how close he was to his rent amount ( it was the first week of aug) he said he almost had Julys total. FUCK.
So i had him helping with random things at my office. Staining the handicapped ramps, building a new garden bed and mulching it. Weeding and cleaning up. Various random things. We knew this wasnt enough to do much but it would help get his July rent covered and hopefully August.
Well he did pay July. But August? No.
He told me today he was served with notice to Quit Sept 12nd, Which means he got it some time ago!
Its like dude, we have less then 2 weeks to come up with 1600 dollars and you have had NO job prospects. The market here is SO bad. I dont have 1600 dollars to give him to keep him in his apartment. We talked a lot and had to do the hard part. He has to come home again.
He started crying and said he dosent know how to do this without killing himself. I started to cry too. I KNEW he was feeling really bad. My anxiety has been through the roof and ive been feeling depressed. I knew he was bad. I was SO worried he was at this stage and he is. I kept saying its not a set back. Dad and I went back to my parents several times. Twice after he and his brother were born. It happens. Its not easy. He said he cant live in our house because its so noisy. But there is NO WHERE for him to go. And im sitting here and its quiet AF in here. One is biking, one is waiting for the football game. Co is probably sleeping. A is on her VR in her room. I can hear her get excited but its quiet!
yes there are a lot of us, But dude, He has no where. I said you come home, and we work on getting you a job ( and pouring his zoloft down his throat) Then he can save some money and we go TWO routes. One we buy a little camper or something he can sleep in in the back yard. He will have some space of his own and its warm enough most of the winter for it. Two we get him a car. THEN we worry about another apartment. He said his two friends were moving out of the place they live in maybe in a few months to the city. To be closer to Amazon where they work ( where he worked) but dude they wont let you move in if you dont have a job!
I mean its just common sense. you have to have a job in order to stay with friends. If you dont have a job, you cant pay your part of rent and then you cant live there. Its not going to work! I know that he really wants to move out and be on his own. He is 20. of course he wants to do that. Btu the reality is that its not going to work if he dosent actually WORK!

Its really scary. I mean this is my son, and hes talking about killing himself because hes so stressed out. He lives in this motel that couldent make it as a motel. So they made it into apartments of a sorts. so hes spending 800 a month on a hotel room. I know that its not ideal and its not great. But its his and his alone. I just dont know what to do at this point. I dont know if i should take off some time from work and spend it with him. Or if i need to help him fill applications. It hurts when he has all these big issues and he isnt coming to us for help! Things like no food, loosing his place. Like what are we supposed to do if we dont KNOW!

He dosent want to come home and that is a big deal. I mean there is no where else to go. My parents live with my sister, her husband and their kids anad my grandpa. My brother back in Ak just got married this month and they have a kid. No one is going to let him go up there. HIs friends up there are a no go. And he does have a girlfriend. She lives in Cali. They have met up a few times and she just bought him a phone ( which i have some serious reservations about, but it IS a California number so that tracks…) Just I dont know what to do. I have a little bit of money, maybe a couple hundred dollars but that wont solve the problem. In Sept he will still need money and he wont have a job which he can save for. Or if he does have a job. The rent will be due before the money comes in. So im a bit on the fuck side… Im just REALLY worried about him.


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