Meday in Current Events

I broke the ice with my roommate. I haven’t said a word to her in almost two weeks. My work bought me an individual vegan pizza, which I brought home for her as I don’t eat hybridized wheat. It felt like we were having two different conversations together. That was just an observation. Our ADHD, it was showing. I didn’t bring up any of my issues with her. We’ve had those conversations before. She talked about her plans to move. Not anytime soon but I was considering that myself. Should I get hired at the non-profit.

She wants to make a career change. She gave up on her training. She was training to compete in boxing. Reality hit her; no pun was intended. Her weight class is impossible. She is barely five feet tall and 110 lbs. There is nobody in this city that she can compete with. She wants to volunteer at a different gym. Her plan is to get employed there and then move closer to it. This is her passion, so good for her. She wants to rent a house. That is going to be a disaster. I refuse to move into a house with her. I’m not taking care of it for her.

My own plan is to save up and buy a house. I am calling a financial advisor next week. I have nothing to lose. The idea is to buy the house and rent out the rooms to other students so that I can go to uni full-time.

I weighed myself today. I lost another 5 lbs. This is deflating; no pun intended. I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve skipped a few meals over the last two weeks. I also added an extra gym day. The silver lining is that I have abs. An 8-pack. I am going to start meal planning. I need some supplies and I have been dragging my trip to get them out. I can’t stand the inner need to go running around for no reason. Just stay home and relax.

I dedicated today to myself. I did my full self-care routine. This included a detox bath and a coffee enema. My day started with just under 12 hrs of sleep. I cleaned up my space, finally. I’m going to buy a lighter so that I can sage the place and then smudge. I need to create mental space for change.

I am trying to connect to the things that I am passionate about. Without my anxiety and depression, I don’t know how to connect to things the same way. I am bracing myself to start making content again. Even if that doesn’t look like me sitting in front of a camera, I can at least start planning my content.

I put DMSO on my skin, I am just writing to pass the time. I can’t wear clothes for 20 mins. DMSO is transdermal… I am ready to get dressed and start my running around now. Ta.