Mood Poisoning in Current Events

I went to bed angry and then I woke up angry. Then I went to work angry. It was a half day but I still left work angry. I don’t even know what I’m angry at. Maybe it’s andropause.

Though my mood disorders are on hiatus, all of my triggers are still present. My issues are still issues. My crisis list is still a work in progress. I can give myself some grace and let it be okay to pace myself. Just because my mood disorders aren’t present, it doesn’t mean that I am content with everything. I will schedule an appointment with my therapist next week. This time I can go in and don’t have to do it over a screen.

I was only scheduled for half a day today. Not even that. May my long weekend begin! I have to meal prep for my trip and get my shit together. I didn’t realize it was a half day which was perfect because all I wanted was more time. Now I have it. I wanted time to go to the gym. I will do that immediately after this entry. I just wanted some more coffee first. I scored an artisan mirror for my room. It was on clearance and they marked it down even more just as I pulled my car up to get it. Now I can hate my reflection properly. From head to toe.

My gut health is still not up to par. I could barely eat my breakfast this morning. My insides have been rearranged though so that doesn’t help. It was the coffee enema, not from anything fun. Unfortunately. I have been manifesting again so maybe I can manifest Habibi.

Anyway, there isn’t much to talk about. I have time to do all of the things I wanted to do today so maybe I won’t be so cranky once I start it. I feel so disconnected from the things I am passionate about because my mood disorders were my tether. This presents an opportunity. I don’t know what it is yet but… I’m sure Ange will offer me shrooms this weekend and I just might do it. Maybe I’ll have the spiritual experience that I need. (It will be a bad trip and my trip sitters will have a tale to tell for the rest of time.)