I have a few games I play online. I am not a strategic player, never have been. I don’t think “if this, then that”, and I will have a better outcome.
I play for entertainment and whatever happens, just happens.
Following that thought process, I have lived my life that way too. I didn’t make plans for “what I wanted to be when I grew up.” I got a job, had a great work ethic and things progressed. Several times in my 46 years of working full time, I followed a boss from one job to another. The last 3 jobs I gave notice to, made counter offers for me to stay. Two I didn’t accept, one I did.
When it came to relationships, I never picked someone I wanted as a partner. They picked me. I never ended a relationship of my own accord. Those decisions were made for me.
I have a good life. I do wonder sometimes how it would be different if I had made a plan. If I had been more of a “driver” and less of a “passenger”.
Deep thoughts for a Wednesday night. I had a steroid shot in my hip today. After the injection I started having a cold sweats and felt dizzy. Had to hang out at the doctor’s office for a while before I could drive home. I have felt weepy and melancholy all day. Wonder if that is a side effect of the steroid shot.
Tomorrow is the 4th of July and I am going to ride in a parade. Will be a first for me.
Here is a “ poor pitiful pearl” for you. I had an epiphany today - All the VIP’s in my life, I love them more than they love me. I check on them, I ask questions about what’s going on with their lives, I readily forgive them if they forget important dates. I don’t feel as though they reciprocate. Not a single one of them.
I don’t have a clever ending. Once upon a time, back in the Open Diary days, when I made entries daily I would have.
Goodnight. Sleep tight.
Nash ⋅ July 04, 2024
I suspect despite our best efforts that all of us are passengers rather than drivers.
Deleted user Nash ⋅ October 08, 2024
Duke ⋅ July 04, 2024
I was lucky enough to be in the driver's seat for much of my professional life - I had objectives, and if roadblocks were thrown in front of me I found a way over or around them. My personal life on the other hand...I was always told when we were done. Never let anyone be your priority while they make you, their option.
Chinese proverb: A man who blames others has a long way to go on his journey. Who blames himself is halfway there. Who blames no one has arrived.
Sassy Duke ⋅ July 04, 2024
I have been wondering about you. I remember you had a heart issue- glad to know you are still vertical.
Deleted user Sassy ⋅ October 08, 2024
Deleted user Duke ⋅ October 08, 2024
Just Annie ⋅ July 04, 2024
I have always been a passenger, too, usually in somebody else' car (life). Now that I am on my own I struggle hearing my own voice sometimes.
Have fun in the parade! My father restored an old Essex and we went in a few parades with him and it. This was way before it became standard to throw candy at every parade. We just sat and waved!
Deleted user Just Annie ⋅ October 08, 2024
Flyte ⋅ July 04, 2024
My husband gets his feelings hurt all the time because he puts effort into his friends and he feels they don’t reciprocate that. He expects people to be as caring as he is but they aren’t.
Deleted user Flyte ⋅ October 08, 2024
Deleted user ⋅ October 08, 2024