Forever Sleep Cursed in 2020s

I’ve said it a million times before, and I’ll no doubt say it a million times in the future: something is absolutely hell-bent on disrupting my sleep. I swear that not only does something up there not want me to have a normal thyroid, but it also doesn’t want me to sleep well. With traffic now out of the picture, it’s quite a coincidence that all these other things are now waking me up. I swear I’ve got to get a mouthguard if only to stop snoring myself awake. However, I don’t always snore while on my back because the first bang woke me up when I was on my back and I wasn’t snoring. My first thought was a surprise thunderstorm. It was just one big bang, but when I got up to pee, I saw the sun was shining. So, my next thought was that Tom dropped something in the kitchen, even though the sound seemed to come from the opposite direction. I went out to him, but he swore there were no bangs.

Trying to convince myself I just dreamed it up, I went back to bed even though it took me an hour to fall back asleep. A few hours later, the same thing happened. I questioned whether or not something fell in the laundry room which is right behind the bedroom, so he went out and looked. A few minutes later, he came back into the house and said I was right, a large plastic tote fell down. But it could have only happened once because that was the only thing that fell! The laundry room is small, and there isn’t much space between the washer and dryer and the shelves. So, it would have slipped off the shelf and crashed down onto the washer before hitting the floor, which makes sense after the sound I heard.

But what was that first bang? Unless it was a 400-pound tiger, there’s no way a cat could have leaped onto the roof and made such a loud bang. There’s nothing else that could have come from the back or Ray’s place that I know of, and Toni’s place is too far away. Besides, he was sitting by her place, so he would have heard it if it had come from there. His room and the living room are on the Toni side, and my room and the kitchen are on the Ray side.

Since I doubt the tote would have thrown itself down, picked itself back up, and placed itself back on the shelf before throwing itself back down a few hours later, I am completely mystified as to what it could have been. But it was something. And the fact that there is almost always something is what makes me think it can’t be a coincidence and something really is trying to sabotage my sleep. The question is what and why? I have a very strong feeling that even if I could suddenly sleep at night every night, it would still find a way to fuck with my sleep.

He said the only thing he could think of is maybe the wind went through the rafters at just the right angle and strength to knock the tote off. I suppose it’s possible, but it doesn’t seem likely to me because I don’t think the gap between the ceiling and wall is that big.

So now that my sleep has been disrupted more than twice, I am totally exhausted. Can’t let my schedule jump too fast, though, in order to make my appointment on the 13th.

Went through the first three chapters of my story last night. I made a few edits, but nothing major.

I don’t know if this means anything and it’s pretty mild so far, but I’ve noticed more tingling lately in my legs (paresthesia). I’ve had it in my right thigh, but lately, I’m feeling it in various places in both legs from my butt to my feet. I first thought it was connected to my weight, but now I’m wondering if it’s a sciatica, thyroid, or prediabetes thing. All these things and other things can cause it.

I’m more worried about my thyroid and all this fatigue. It’s a miracle that the decades of poor sleep and what happened with the medication in Cali haven’t messed up my heart, but it can’t be doing my health any good either. Sooner or later, all these sleep disturbances are going to catch up to me.

My mother would be 92 years old today if she was still alive, a year younger than Tom’s mom was when she died in 2015.

Last updated June 18, 2024