Forgiven in Things That I'm Grateful For

I was out and suddenly ran into Good.

I know I know. How many times am I going to get caught up in that nonsense? But it was very amusing because the week before I had been out with this guy I hooked up with at the back room and ran into Ten.

Now, Ten is the famous one out of their whole group of friends. He’s been in numerous tv shows, one of which is on Netflix around the world, and even has a whole fake ship with this guy I happened to know from LA. Ten has always been kind to me but that’s part of the deal with being the “star”.

I saw him but I didn’t actually go out of my way to hang out with him. Besides, I was with my old hook-up and the art crowd I’d started surrounding myself with. When they walked by, they started whispering to me… “He looked at you like he knows you!” Whatever…

Coming back from the bathroom, I was stopped as I was passing Ten by, “I know you! Justin, right?”

To be honest, I was absolutely astonished that he A) acknowledged me and B) remembered my name.

“You’re so funny, I love hanging out with you. It’s always a blast! Bring your friend and come sit with us.”

My art crowd were flabbergasted when I told them to follow me and we ended up at the VIP table. My ex hook-up was looking at me like I’d grown a third head. Ten’s other friends were there, they were the last of the group I hadn’t met but the other one I did know weren’t there.

Ten pulled me close and asked me why I didn’t say hi to him like I usually do. I told him that since I’d last seen Good (and Jay had told me to back off) I was generally just trying to keep space between myself and their whole group. He waved that off as total bullshit and dragged me to the bar.

“What do you want to drink?” I didn’t understand the question, mostly because at this bar they don’t serve individual drinks, only full-size bottles. He was offering to buy me a whole bottle.... I just told him I’d have some of whatever he’s getting (big mistake, it was the most awful whiskey I’d ever had).

Since that night, Ten and I have chatted a couple of times. He’s a lot of fun and has invited me out (medical issues kept me out of circulation for a long time), and it’s genuinely always a pleasure to see him. We never talk about my interactions with the rest of his crew but I think that’s because, although they are great friends, the cohesion of that group in the way that it was depicted was only for the continuity of their reality show.

Flash forward to running into Good. I was in a bar I didn’t really like and was debating about leaving when I he walked in. He smiled and said hello, but that was enough for me to go so I took off. That was when I ended up in the backroom avoiding the police like I mentioned in my previous entry.

After I took off from the club, I waited at my usual spot for a cab. Suddenly, there was Good walking up to me. He asked how I was doing and we chatted normally for a few minutes. It was at that point that I realized what the difference was between this interaction and the interactions we’ve had previously, and all the other ones where he flirted with me versus the ones where he tried his best to ignore me.

Every time he flirts with me, he’s alone. If I say hi while he’s with people, he clams up.

Ten’s the star. He can’t be shy because someone is always looking at him no matter where he goes around the world (He’s visiting the US right now and the amount of pictures fans have posted of him even in the US is staggering and when I asked him about it, he just said that’s his life and his job).

Good wasn’t like that. He has a private business and has never become accustomed to being recognized and so he feels scrutinized all the time. I remember what that was like when I was doing comedy. It was exhausting.

I forgot to empathize with the guy who suddenly became (a little bit) famous without really wanting to be.

We still don’t talk, but there’s no enmity between us any longer.