July 2005 in 2000s

SUNDAY, JULY 31, 2005
Tom banged his knee up really bad so it’s swollen and painful. I guess he banged it on the bar of his bike after getting his foot caught in the laundry bag. He’s such a klutz on his bike! Hopefully, the spell I put on him will make it better so he has no problem getting to work tomorrow and surviving the day.

It’s another muggy day out which is a good thing because that means the dog’s not out now. Hopefully, they’ll both stay tucked inside and not come out for a couple of hours like they sometimes do in the evenings. It also keeps it from getting as hot which keeps it cooler, and it keeps more moisture in my skin, too.

Tomorrow on his lunch break, Tom’s going to call about a house for rent near here. It’d be great if we could stay in this area by all these stores. It’s on a dead-end which would mean it’ll be noisy, but we’re going to live in noisy places all our lives, so it doesn’t matter. Having spent the first 12 years of my life on a dead-end road, I can personally say that it is indeed an attraction for kids, though I still mainly preferred to play in the backyard. I only hit the street when I’d be bike riding, roller-skating or skateboarding.

SATURDAY, JULY 30, 2005
Yesterday I never heard one bark, but there’s a simple enough explanation for that. She went out. Didn’t get in till after 11:00. It’s watering now and stuffing itself on the patio. It’s doing its favorite pastime, too – watering. It was a rather humid day today, so it’ll live out there with the beast till sundown.

We walked to the grocery store, stopping at a coffee shop first. On the way back was when we saw her out front watering. I’m sure she saw us too, though she quickly turned to reach for her faucet. When I looked outside a short while later, the sprinkler was still going, so she no doubt turned to the faucet just to make like she didn’t see us so she wouldn’t have to acknowledge our presence in any way. Fine with me!

A guy was fired at work who works on Saturdays in the wire-cutting department. Tom’s hoping to either get his job or more overtime since they obviously don’t care to give him a raise, the greedy assholes. He got overtime last Friday, even though they said there’d be no more after that, so it was one of those times we were glad they didn’t keep their word. He’s thinking they’ll get even more because the newbies keep fucking things up.

Meanwhile, he worked on his bike and I swept. Tomorrow’s when we change the rat and fire up the truck. We’ll probably call some rental ads, too. There’s a house for $410. It’s downtown and probably a piece of shit in a shitty area, but who cares? There’s no peaceful place for Tom and Jodi S, so why not? If we’re not meant to live in peace, then why the hell not? In fact, if it weren’t for my liking to blast my music, we may as well as do apartments.

Nah, let’s get detached and at least eliminate the banging and TVs.

FRIDAY, JULY 29, 2005
Halfway through another Fatty Patty and the Beast day, but still stressing about what may lie ahead. I really, really want the queen to help us. This is why I’m sure she won’t. The more I think about it, the more I realize that whatever’s up there realizes that we have so much more to gain by her helping us than by my getting to blow off steam at her, and nothing up there wants us having any breaks in life. Nothing!

Meanwhile, I’m going to enjoy the next few hours before the bitch and dog set up camp in back here for the evening so she can sit on her fat ass and gab on the phone while she lets the fucking beast bark by the fence. On the other hand, it’s cloudier than it has been in days, so maybe it’ll cool down earlier. Wrapped up in all that fat, I can see where it’d be unbearable for her in her place on hot, sunny days.

THURSDAY, JULY 28, 2005
Tom just came in to ask if I needed the bathroom since he was about to take his shower, then jokingly he said, “She’s doing something different over there today.” I asked what that was and he said, “Watering the yard.”

Ha, ha! Yeah, she’s so obsessed with that that there’s no way we’ll need to water again as long as we’re here.

I woke up for a second 2 or 3 hours into my sleep, but I couldn’t say if it was because of the beast or just because or what, but it was nice to have gotten up at noon to know that I had slept through at least 6 hours of this bitch’s day. And in just a couple hours, another day with the splitzo skitzo and the beast will be wrapped up!

She and the beast came out onto the patio a little earlier than I’d have liked right before 6:00. She was on her cell phone and now she’s stuffing herself. I’ve got the headphones on. Why? Because if the fucking piece of fur goes off, I don’t wanna hear it! Besides, I love music anyway. I just hope they’re not there till 8:30 or later.

I almost have to feel bad for her. She’s so fat, so ugly and so crazy, that it’s obvious that she’ll always be alone, let alone ever have even so much as a one-nighter again in her life.

Anyway, for 3 nights in a row, I’ve tried to keep an open mind about praying to God to allow his mother to care enough to help us, and for us to get moved without any major upsets and setbacks. This doesn’t mean I’ll ever be His buddy or agree with His ways in general, but I’m hoping against hope that the prayers will at least pay off if only to a small degree.

Later…

She’s still on the phone, so the rude bitch is going to just let the fucking dog sit there at the corner of my bedroom where the dividing fence starts, to bark its ass off at next door which now has the doors open. I’m sure the cats are out, too. I hope to hell this mother-fucker isn’t out much longer. And I hope to hell that Pam tells her of my future email and that the next person in here does something! I’m sure neither will be the case, though. Oh, why oh why didn’t that housekeeper’s dog attack and kill this one?!?! It’s like, get off the fucking phone and get inside, bitch, and take your damn dog with you!

The bitch is now off the phone and the dog is on the patio, but I still wish they’d get inside. What are they out now for anyway? It wasn’t overly hot out today.

I suppose it was silly of me to worry about having to show this place to any of her buddies. Why should I when they can just see her place? It’s the same thing, just in reverse and with shittier carpet and probably shittier flooring, too. I just don’t want her to have any friends in here. I want her to either get someone who drives her crazy or who complains like hell against her. Or both!

WEDNESDAY, JULY 27, 2005
The dog’s still very loud, especially when on the patio, despite the foam I stuck in that window. So I figured why deprive myself of extra light and spying spots and so I pulled it out. Unfortunately, sound is a very difficult thing to block as opposed to light and other things. I think I’ll have to sleep with the stereo on like in Phoenix when I’m sleeping throughout most of the day. Before I was sleeping through it because it was just a couple of barks a couple of times a week. But now there are tons of barking on a daily basis and I don’t have to be a genius to know I can’t possibly sleep through it. Not even when I’m in a deep sleep. If it does wake me up we can always wake her up when I’m up at the time he gets up bright and early at 4 AM and slam a few cabinets. I totally meant it when I said I’m dishing the shit back that I get from people. And I don’t care if it’s childish or what/who the person(s) is either. They can be pigs, the president; they can be God for all I care! One can only sit back and do nothing for so long, you know? The only reason I’m not bashing the dog’s head in with a hammer is that we’re about to give notice (animal cruelty is hard to prove if you keep your mouth shut and don’t leave evidence around, though next door could witness it if they happened to be at their windows), and the only reason I’m not attacking her is cuz I know I could kill her with just one mild punch. She’s heavy, out of shape, and she smokes and so she’d be no match for me.

I doubt the queen will give a damn about helping us, but another possibility just dawned on me. I wonder if she may send at least half of the money and make it $600? I doubt she’ll send any more than what she sent for his birthday and our anniversary, so I think I’ll be getting to tell her off real soon. I have mixed emotions about this, too. Yes, I want to give her a piece of my mind, but I also want the $1200 and future birthday, Christmas and anniversary money, and maybe an inheritance, too. Maybe God will let me have my say after all since I’d think it’d be worth it to Him to see that we lose this extra money.

Something else just dawned on me. Again there’s been no TV going over there, and I just can’t believe she wouldn’t have it on if she were home. Also, she usually pulls the dog in for a few hours around noon, yet it’s still out there. I’m wondering if yesterday and today she was out somewhere and didn’t get in till the afternoon. This would explain why the TV didn’t go on till then and why the usual morning visitors came so late. She totally strikes me as the type to risk the dog’s safety to spite people, too.

Later…

So far there’s been no company and two barking fits, and yeah, the bitch probably has been home all day. The TV went on not too long ago. Anyway, she’s on another one of her multi-hour watering sprees, even though she just watered for 6 hours a couple of days ago. What does the skitzo think this is? The desert?

To no longer have the pressure of having to get to bed on time takes some of the stress off me. Now I just gotta figure out how I’m going to sleep through the barking. He thinks it’ll be no problem, but I don’t see how it could be “no problem.” The fucking thing practically lives out there now. No, it doesn’t go on and on for hours like the Arizona dogs, but it’s annoying enough. I could at least fan other dogs out, but not this one. It’s simply too damn close.

If all goes well, we should have the keys to the new place around Friday, August 26th, which would mean exactly 30 days left here. When the fucking dog gets going, those 30 days sure seem to stretch to the hundreds! That’s why I hope I can be on nights for a while. That way I can be awake when it’s peaceful (I don’t expect her to do too many midnight barbecues, although I didn’t expect her to keep the dog outside ignored and unattended so damn much either), and it makes the time go by faster that way. I don’t know why, but being on nights always seemed to make the days pass faster.

The fat tub of shit’s sitting on its patio now doing what it does best – eating. I’m not surprised. After all, it hit the 90s today. She’s no doubt jealous of my AC! She’s not on the phone, so maybe she’ll do something about it if the dog barks, but I doubt it. Those days seem to be completely over with, but that’s ok. Pam will be in for quite an earful soon enough. Make that quite an eyeful, since I intend to email her.

Now I can’t figure out what she’s doing. Is she playing a game? She’s got a candle lit, too. A mosquito-repellant candle? Religious candle? Wouldn’t surprise me if she was religious. She’s crazy enough to be. So many religious people are some of the craziest and deadliest people in the world. A man was just sentenced to death in California for killing 7 of his kids and 2 of his grandkids. He believed he was Jesus and that he had to rape and molest his daughters and nieces. Religious people in general really scare me! The bigoted ones are bad enough, but the ones who swear God ordered them to kill are really freaky as hell.

TUESDAY, JULY 26, 2005
Today we mailed out a letter written by me to the queen. I said I knew I couldn’t ask her to send the money (I told her how much we needed), but hoped she’d consider it. I also returned the checks and explained that due to the problems with the bank, we can’t cash them, and to please send money via Western Union or money order.

Meanwhile, I’m going to hope that once again God wants to keep me from speaking my mind so bad that he’ll have her have a heart and care enough to send the money like Tom thinks she will. If not, she most certainly is going to get the letter of her life! In fact, I’m going to try to jinx her into sending it by jumping the gun. Quite often if I jump the gun and start a project of some kind, I end up finding that I did it for nothing. In fact, I’m really good at working for nothing, so I’ll go begin the “fuck you” letter I fully intend to send if she blows us off. Tom thoroughly agrees it’d be ok to do so at that point and is ok with my emailing Pam once we’ve moved and gotten our deposit. Good, because that’s exactly what I intend to do.

The petal-picking fatso let the dog go berzerk a few times after Tom got home, but she watered the entire backyard. How strange of her to be nice enough to water our side when she can’t be nice enough to give us much peace. She only does her half of the front, though that makes sense since she owns the whole backyard as far as she’s concerned.

As she went to reel the hose in as the sun was setting, she glanced at our kitchen window and then at the bedroom window where I was watching her. At one point I could swear she looked right at me for a few seconds, although I know there’s no way she could’ve seen me, not that I really cared. We have a right to look out our windows.

Today’s been unusually quiet. I saw the dog out during the morning hours, as usual, but there’s been no barking and no sign of it for a few hours. I don’t even hear the TV. I think she’s out. She wouldn’t be this quiet if she was here and she wouldn’t have the TV off either. She’s like most people when it comes to TVs – obsessed.

I have to wonder – what makes people change overnight like this? Not that she was ever the most considerate neighbor in the world, but she was pretty close to it compared to how she’s been lately, so what happened? Did she just quit taking her head pills or what? It can’t be because I offended her by asking when her company was to leave because she started leaving the dog out to bark before that, and she didn’t seem offended when I mentioned the TV to her, so I guess she’s just like most people in that she says she is what she isn’t and vice versa. In other words, her saying she’s with the dog when it’s out long hours really means she’s not with it. And her saying she doesn’t want any problems with neighbors really means she wouldn’t mind them at all. People are strange, that’s for sure!

Later…

Well here’s something new. First of all, my peace ended about a half-hour ago when the dog took a couple of ignored barking sprees at the fence. I gave them a little bass concert while I sang and then found that the red pickup arrived at some point during the concert. I’ve never seen it come this late in the day. The dog’s now inside, though I know it’ll be back outside to bark on and off till around 9:00.

If the chick with the truck has any sense, she’ll try to talk sense into this asshole by insisting she toughen up with the dog if she wanted a shot at shutting me up, but even if she did say this, the bitch is just too stubborn to be reasoned with. All she’d do is come back with something like, “It’s my dog so I’ll do what I want with it, and to hell with her!” It’s almost like a game, like a little competition, to people like her. What, does she want to get evicted so she can go live in this private, secluded place on the coast that she said she still has a “chance” of doing? The next person is likely to complain, but then again, most people not only don’t give a shit if they annoy others with their noise, but they don’t care about others who are noisy either. Especially out west. Another thing is that if she is by some chance annoyed by the music, which even an idiot like her has got to know is because of the dog, she’d just complain. Not do something about the dog.

Later…

The truck’s gone. That was fast. Still no TV, though. I don’t know, maybe the blimp is sick or something. God knows I’ve put enough spells on her to make her that way!

Later…

Here’s another new twist; not only is she back to blasting the TV, but that ugly navy car is visiting now. Naturally, this means the rude bitch has left the dog out back to bark up a storm. I finally stuck some soft foam in the window on that side, though I don’t know how effective it’ll be. Probably not much. It’s simply too damn loud and too damn close. I can’t wait to make this sick bitch and her bitch of a dog a memory even if it means making new nuts and dogs a reality! Anyway, the foam is a pretty good fit with the AC in that window, but there is about a 2” gap up top.

The car went as quickly as it came just like with the pickup, but anyway, this dog’s about as fucked up as she is. It was barking at the fence earlier. Meanwhile, I looked yet there was nothing there. No cats, no people, not even any birds. Then it was barking silently, not that I can complain about that.

Meanwhile, I agree with Tom; it’s silly to worry about my schedule this soon. It’s going to be at least a week before it’s show and tell time, and like I’d really object to being shorted on sleep just to get out of this place when the time comes. Yeah, right! I just don’t know how I’m going to sleep through all the fucking barking??? Not even earplugs added to the fan, the AC and the sound machine block this mother-fucker out! I’d love to be able to sleep through it and be on nights. It’s the only time it’s peaceful around here these days.

I hope the fucking beast doesn’t go off when I’m showing the place because that could turn them off and delay this place getting rented. Then again, most people are noisy, nor do they care about other people’s noise.

In better news, I got a letter from Mary. I knew she couldn’t go so long without asking for a favor, but it’s okay. She wants me to email her book to somebody named Ann so she can brush up some passages only as I told her, I not only don’t have this person’s email address, but her file’s too big. The free email accounts only allow you so much space to send/receive stuff. She offered to send stamps, and I told her that if she sent 5 stamps, along with Ann’s physical address, I’d send the disk to her in my own envelope.

I also asked that she pray to God for us to make it out of here okay and for his mother to care enough to help us since I still resent Him so much that it’s hard for me to turn to Him myself. I’m sure she’ll jump right to it, too! Not surprisingly, the foam was worthless.

MONDAY, JULY 25, 2005
I slept for 8 hours which is better than 6, but I could’ve used 10. When I awoke, I asked myself the usual question: What shit will the fat bitch next door sic on me today? So far there’s been a few-minute barking spree at the back door when the dog wanted to be let in to greet her usual weekday company along with her. But as is always the case these days, greeting her company and ignoring the dog was more important than risking possible complaints and eventual eviction. As it is, she’s spiting herself by not controlling the barking and having to listen to my bass pounding over there which is exactly what she gets when she ignores the fucking beast. I can’t believe she can’t hear it and that she’s not bothered by it, though with my shit luck, God’s blocking the sound from her or having it be that she’s not at all bothered by it. She’s obviously not afraid of any possible complaints. Or maybe her attitude is: I’m not always good at keeping the dog from barking, so I deserve the bass concerts she gives me for it. But somehow I doubt this is the case. This has proven to be a rather defiant, rebellious person who would never accept blame or admit that they deserved anything.

She’s also got to know that she’s spited herself out of knowing when we give notice unless he sends it in writing (since they’ll be closed before he gets out of work if he keeps getting overtime) and Pam gets the letter before she comes in and then mentions it to her.

Tom, who’s notorious for being overly paranoid, doesn’t want to complain for fear of it hindering us from getting a place, so I decided he can have his way on that one, but not with what I intend to do once we’ve moved and received our deposit. He’s the one that says we should go on the offensive and not just sit back and take shit anyway. I’m going to email Pam and let her know that we moved because Patty made living there unbearable with the dog, TV and company and the only reason we didn’t speak up sooner was that we were afraid of how she might react (I thought that one would be better than saying we feared we couldn’t get a place because I know better). In doing this I would feel like we did truly go on the offensive and we did “fight back” and speak up without sitting back and just taking it. People need to learn that we’re not going to silently sit back and put up with their shit, so this will be a good place to start. A tiny town like this is the last place we’d want to give the wrong message by sending a message saying we’re wimps that people can walk all over. It may not change anything and the bitch may never hear of the email, but at least I’ll feel like I’ve done something. Also, if the next person in here complains, my complaint will back theirs up and give them more credibility.

This is so just like old times. So just like it. I’m back in Phoenix again, minus the basketball games. But will I ever get to live in the country again and have that be just like old times, too? Of course not!

As for his shit of a mother, he says he can’t explain it but that his gut instinct says she’ll send the money we need to get ahead. Well, my logic says she won’t, but Marjorie S isn’t always a very logical person. If she blows us off, she’ll be hearing all the things I’ve been dying to tell her for nearly a year now. Maybe God knowing that will be enough for Him to influence her to send it after all, which I’d certainly prefer.

Later…

The dog gave one bark at the back door and she let it in right away. Now that’s certainly more tolerable than the multi-minute barking sprees, but I wish she’d do the right thing instead and only let it out long enough to piss and shit while she waited for it at the door. Anyway, hopefully she’ll keep it inside for more than 5 minutes. Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to survive the next 5½ weeks here! I tell myself it’s better than 26 weeks in jail, but it’s bad enough at times.

Tom says that if he could get 2-3 more weeks of overtime, it’ll help a lot with the move. He’s hopeful that the owners will be more generous to him when giving him a raise because they just got paid 30 grand for a big project. I still only see a quarter or maybe 40¢ because we’re still under a financial curse that’s going to last what’ll probably be for the rest of our lives.

Next weekend is when we’re going to fire up the truck. That’s exciting! That’ll make the move seem like it’s getting a bit more real, so to speak. I love our weekly walks and I look forward to getting a bike of my own next spring, but I also look forward to having the truck registered and licensed because it gives me more of a sense of freedom. It’s also good to know that if we did want to go somewhere 10 miles away, we could. We could also haul more stuff in it than we could carry, too.

It’s only 78º in here right now and it’s already coming up on 2:00. That’ll save us money right there since I won’t need the AC for most of the day.

Later…

Finally received the canvas shoes from Gravis. FedEx left them by the door while I was listening to music. I was beginning to wonder if they’d ever come. The whole process took a while. I won them on May 31st, wasn’t notified till June 24th, and now I just got them. That’s 2 months from when I won them. Better later than never, I guess. I’m hoping my name got snagged again and that I just don’t know it yet. Tom thinks I’ll get another win before the move. I hope so! Little wins are nice, but God do I want big money! I’d even settle for just a grand if I can’t have many thousands or millions. I hope these shoes aren’t simply a case of beginner’s luck or something up there that’s just teasing me with thinking I can win at least every other month, only to end up like that poor person who swept for years just to win nothing.

Anyway, the shoes are nicer than I envisioned. They look more like sneakers than the canvas shoes I have. The only sucky thing is that they’re lace-ups and not Velcro, but I’m sure Tom won’t mind.

They enclosed a DVD and a CD, but it doesn’t look like anything exciting. It’s just about their products.

It’s definitely cooler than it has been. The AC didn’t come on till 4:45, and of course next door’s back to slamming doors. I am looking so forward to getting out of here! As much as I hate the annoyances around here, well, if there’s any good in it it’s that it only strengthens my desire to move and makes the idea of it all the more exciting.

Later…

Miss Bubble Butt’s out there right now fiddling with the rosebush that’s at the corner of the bedroom where the dog sometimes takes its fit. What the hell she’s doing to them, I do not know. It looks like she’s peeling all the petals off. What’s she doing that for? Why do I always end up with the nuts, if not the freeloaders? All I know is that no one in their right mind walks up to a rosebush and plucks its petals unless they’re not wired right.

Later…

The dog went off while she was doing whatever weirdo thing she was doing to the roses and she ignored it completely till I blasted my music. That drove them inside rather fast, but the dog was back out just a few minutes later. It might be back in now, but I’ve got the headphones on.

Tom’s home now. He worked 3 hours of overtime today which is good, but what’s not good is that the overtime is going to end after Thursday. And we don’t even know if he’s going to get a raise of any kind yet.

SUNDAY, JULY 24, 2005
I hope those animals aren’t on their way over, even though she rarely has company on weekends. It’s just that she’s got sun tea sitting out there and the only other time I saw her make that was right before they came over. I’m sure they’ll be back at some point, though, before we can get out of here. I would just prefer it to be while he’s working so that only one of us has to deal with it.

Meanwhile, I haven’t been up even 4 hours and already it’s been a shitty day. Next door was out gabbing their asses off this morning and I couldn’t even take a dump in peace. I heard one of them yell out, “Sadie, get away from that fence!” at one point.

On our way back from the store where we picked up an oil burner that was overpriced yet just beautiful with flowers and butterflies.

I finally decided to take a crack at his mother, and I swear to God that if she doesn’t help us I will give her a hell of a piece of my mind and I won’t care if it screws me out of my birthday and Christmas money! I’ll be like most people and I’ll gladly spite myself to spite her. I didn’t specifically ask her for help, but I explained the situation, why it’s so hard to get good jobs here, and said that I sincerely hope she’d consider helping us after all Tom’s done for her in the past. We’re also going to return the checks and explain that we simply can’t cash them because we don’t have an account here.

People just can’t die when you need them to. Assuming his shit of a mother doesn’t spite us out of it, I wouldn’t be surprised if his inheritance came at a time when we weren’t so needy. On the other hand, we’ll always be needy, so her death will be a blessing to us at any time.

Tom says not to jump the gun by assuming Sacramento will be noisy, but that’s common sense, noise-cursed or not. That’d be like my saying that I wasn’t going to assume it snows in Japan just because others say it does when I’ve never been there to see so for myself. Any warm climate is going to be noisy. Unless it’s a resort or a retirement community with noise regulations or ordinances of whatever kind, no warm place is going to be peaceful. Dogs are going to be left out to bark all day and all night, kids are going to practically live outdoors, basketball games are going to be a regular thing, people are going to blast music more often outdoors, etc.

I couldn’t get to sleep till nearly 1:00 last night because of the fat bitch next door. One thinks to themselves, how much disturbance can a 50-something-year-old lady be, yet I sometimes feel like we’ve got a college kid next to us!

I was close to falling asleep at 11:15 when her bright and obnoxious back light came on. I figured she was just letting the dog out for its final shit of the day. When the light was still on 15 minutes later I got up and peered out to see the dog lying on the patio. My first thought was that she was going to start leaving it out overnight as I had feared, but then she came out and barbecued. I never heard a thing, but between the stress of knowing they were there, and the light being on for an hour, it didn’t help me fall asleep at all. So because of this fat pig that always seems to have to eat, I’m tired today. I’d like to go to bed earlier tonight, but I’m not usually good at getting myself to do that, tired or not, and of course I doubt these people would let me in the first place. So much for breathing a sigh of relief at 10 PM and thinking that’s it for the day as far as the blimp and the dog are concerned. That’s so rude too, to take your dog out so close to others at that hour, even if you’re pretty sure it won’t bark. If we do get stuck here, I’m emailing Pam and letting her know what’s going on around here. Then we won’t move till we can go to Sacramento because I’m not going to “try” for the fourth time to get out of here. I’m not going to be teased with getting out of here like something up there seems to want to do to me. If it wants us here that bad, we’ll stay and we’ll figure out a way to deal with these people’s shit. If there’s no escape, there’s no escape, period. Tom still doesn’t think there’ll be a problem, but he’s never doubtful of anything. It’s not his nature to be. His nature is to believe things will always work out.

To make matters worse, the breakage curse is picking on the music computer. It’s almost as if something up there is saying, “I will not let you block out the noisy neighbors I want you to listen to year after year, nor will I allow you to be noisy back.” Well, headphones in the work computer can block them out, but I couldn’t give them a taste of their own medicine with its little wimpy speakers. Tom replaced the music computer’s cable, so maybe that’ll help it. He’s got backup drives and motherboards if they’re necessary, too.

I never thought I’d say this, but I wish it were winter at least from 6 PM-10 PM. No, make that till midnight. I’ve glanced out the window to see lights on next door that late, so this bitch obviously doesn’t need much sleep because no matter how late it goes to bed, it’s right back up again at 6 AM on the dot. Anyway, if it were winter the dog wouldn’t be outside so much (I’d hope not!), it’d be dark earlier, and no one would be hanging out barbecuing. I’m so sick of this place! Totally sick of it! Every other time I walk up to the sink and look out the window, the dog’s right there. Talk about an eyesore and a nerve twanger!

Why must life be so complicated for us? Why can’t we just live in peace? Why must we have one problem after another?

SATURDAY, JULY 23, 2005
Yesterday was the worst day as far as the dog was concerned. Six times we had to listen to it going off. Six times! This woman just doesn’t give a damn about others to save her life! It took all the strength I had to keep from going out and bashing the fucking thing in with a hammer. Next thing you know the little shit bitch will leave it out there overnight. I hope someone else kills it or that they complain, but all the complaints in the world may not be enough to get this rude bitch to stop leaving the dog outside more than is necessary. She’s obviously proven to be very defiant and disrespectful of others around her. If anything she may rebel and never take it indoors. Tom’s afraid to complain because he’s naturally paranoid, on top of the fact that that’s a no-no in his book, for the most part. He believes it could cause us not to be able to get a house, though I don’t see how it could. Complaints against us may be one thing, but complaints made by us? Fine. We won’t complain now, but for whatever it’s worth, I intend to email Pam after we’ve moved and gotten our deposit and let her know just what it was like living with her dog and next door always slamming doors. I totally take it back when I said it wasn’t as bad as Phoenix. It is as bad as Phoenix as far as the barking’s concerned!

We were out for an hour on our weekly walk to the store and it had been quiet all day. I knew this meant that she wasn’t home, because she’d never keep the dog inside that long or be that considerate and respectful of others. Now that she just came back, I’ll have to keep headphones on in order to block out the barking for the next 6 hours. As soon as she gets in when she does go out, which isn’t nearly often enough, she wastes no time tossing it out. This bitch is begging to rack up complaints!

Damn God or whatever’s put this noise curse on me that’s followed me from state to state for over a decade! I could kill whoever/whatever has been doing this to me for so long! I tried to find information on this kind of curse online, but couldn’t find shit. Somehow I doubt anyone is this cursed when it comes to noisy neighbors. I know I sure feel like I’m the only one who’s had it this bad for this long. I can see a few bad neighbors along the way. That happens to a lot of people. But one problem neighbor after another for 13 years? That’s quite a coincidence!

It’s days like yesterday that I find myself missing our old house, even if it had its share of problems. I never thought I’d say this, but a part of me wishes we could shower after he got in on Fridays, then go up to the old RV and stay there till Sunday night.

Tom had to go to the bike shop to get a new hub and stopped by the incense store along the way. Sure enough, they were closed and they have been since the 4th. I think it’s just rich people who are too lazy to work that’ll probably sell the store soon enough.

Later…

Oh, my goodness! I absolutely don’t believe it. The split bitch next door took the dog in! I’m sure it’ll be back in 5 minutes, though. This twist of a bitch obviously doesn’t appreciate having the thing around.

Anyway, I’m sweeping even harder by making extra entries (on the sweeps that’ll allow me to do it) using Tom’s name and birth date.

FRIDAY, JULY 22, 2005
I could tell that it cooled down a bit because next door shut their doors for the first time in days last night and went slamming back and forth just after 10:00.

Three times the dog went off today. The first time she called it in which was all well and good, but if she would just stop leaving the fucking beast out there for hours at a time, that would be even better. An hour later it took a barking fit at the back door which she ignored for a while. Finally, I said, “That’s it. I’m tired of sitting here respecting those that don’t respect me.” So I sang, blasting the speakers for about 20 minutes.

Tom said he’s going to tell Pam it’s too noisy here if she asks why he’s giving notice, without pointing fingers (he’s from Arizona, so he’s been raised not to do that), but I think he should tell Pam it’s mainly the dog and doors that are running us out of here, for whatever it’s worth. And if God forbid she says she’s heard that I’ve been loud, to just tell her that I’ve had to be in order to drown out other people’s noise. There are 3 reasons I doubt she’ll complain, though. For one, complaining would be admitting I bothered her, though she may spite herself to spite me, so we’ll see. She’s also from southern Cal where complaining’s a mortal sin just like in Arizona. Lastly, she knows we’re moving soon. Personally, I don’t give a shit if she does open her mouth. People invade my world and disturb my peace and now I’m doing the same thing right back to them for a change instead of always being the polite and considerate one. And yes, those animals are welcome to come over and scream and bang so long as they’re willing to do it to the tune of my music. I doubt next door could hear it over their own racket unless they were outside, but again, I don’t care! I won’t do anything over one or two barks, but when it turns into 20 or more, my thumping bass will be her punishment. Better yet, I think I’ll just blast off whenever the hell I want to and just do what I want for a change and not worry about others. Everyone else does what they want and they don’t worry about anyone else. She may leave the fucking thing outdoors more often now as a way of saying, “See, I’m still going to leave it out to annoy you and I don’t care who complains!” Hey, the ball’s in her court. The more I hear the dog, the more she’ll hear me. I’m surprised she didn’t have it outside all day yesterday. Yesterday was gorgeous. Anyway, this shit with the dog may not be nearly as bad as the shit we went through with the freeloaders, but it’s annoying enough. Especially when it’s just an arm’s reach away. I hope she gets someone in here who drives her totally up the wall! Someone who will make her miss us and be sorry we ever moved! When we officially have a place, I’ll add the running, stomping, slamming and banging to the picture.

It used to be I’d hear the dog twice a week. Now it’s every day. Multiple times a day, for that matter. This bitch has definitely taken the lead over Bev as far as being the worst of the two goes. When you add up Bev’s shit, it amounts to maybe a dozen days in the entire 5 months we lived with her, but I’m hearing from this bitch’s dog on a daily basis now and we haven’t even lived together for 3 months. She’d be the perfect neighbor if she didn’t have the dog or those animals over again, but that’s probably why God put her next to us; because she did have the dog as a flaw. Why would He put the ideal person next to us? That’s a definite no-no. No quiet, dogless, childless person could get next to us.

The mowers were here today. I still don’t know if this is the owners or people the owners hired, but if they insist the AC has to come out, the answer’s no. First of all, I vowed never again to allow myself to be told what to do and how to live once I was free of the sickos. Secondly, the place would be well into the 90s, if not higher without it. The worst they could do is send an eviction notice on top of our notice to vacate (gee, that’d hurt), or tamper with it. If they did that, though, I’d be out there so fast to tamper with them!

We were wondering if I might have cataracts. I have some of the symptoms, including dental problems that seem to be associated with cataracts. The thought of having eye surgery sickens and terrifies me. I’d rather have heart surgery or back surgery or brain surgery or anything other than to have my eyes poked and prodded. Just watching people put in or remove contacts disgusts me. Tom doesn’t think I have cataracts, though, saying it’s extremely rare to have them this young. Yeah, that’s why I have a husband who’s a sexual fluke and the schedule problem; because extremely rare things never happen to me. That’s why I happened to hit one noisy neighbor after another since 1992, and why everyone I wanted didn’t want me and vice versa till I learned to settle for just personality, not that I ever thought my husband was ugly. Yeah, everybody’s married to cumless dicks/dead dicks, while they themselves have driving phobias, noise and schedule curses, etc.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 20, 2005
Patty just took off. She leaves her TV on when she goes out, that is unless there’s someone else there I don’t know about. Maybe she just leaves it on figuring it’d be soothing to the dog and would drown out background noise that’d set it off.

The heat flushes her out in the evenings along with next door. The dog barked twice at the fence. The first time she came and got it right away. The second time she was on the phone, so she assumed her I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude for a while before she came and got it. I’m tempted to give her 1 dose a day of my music till we give notice, then up it to 2 doses a day, then 3 or more once we get a place. I’m sick of being the quiet one. I’m the only considerate one around here and that’s not fair. I think I’ll compromise and blast off as often as I want to when we give notice unless she has those animals over again.

The guy told Tom that the front corner of the garage is even with the back corner of the house. I’d like to think that if we get this house that’s the side the dog’s on, but I wouldn’t count on it. The other side of the house has a walkway, but no one else’s driveway runs up alongside the house. My only concern would be the dogs and kids. I don’t see how he can’t hear them unless his dog barks so much that it drowns everything out. He says, however, the only noise he hears is from the highway, but to me the sound of traffic whizzing by can be soothing, minus the stereos.

Tom went out yesterday morning to discover he had a flat tire, so he began walking to work. At some point, a coworker named Donna picked him up and a guy named Steve drove him home. That was nice of them. After work, he walked to the store for a repair kit.

Later…

Could Fatty Patty be gearing up for a little vacation? How I wish! It’s just that she’s got a bathing suit on under her shorts and was gathering what appeared to be towels and sleeping bags from her garage. She’s got one laid out on the roof of her van which is backed up close to the garage. I’m sure it’s just a blanket and that she’s probably just going to the lake or something, but I can dream, can’t I?

No company again today either.

Later…

Although I didn’t actually see her leave, the blimp took off. I can’t hear the TV going. She probably just took herself and the dog to the lake and will probably be back in time to spend a couple of hours on the patio. On the phone too, ignoring the dog, no doubt.

Canada just became the fourth nation to legalize gay marriages. When will the entire US legalize it?

TUESDAY, JULY 19, 2005
I’d swear it was the weekend if I didn’t know any better. Patty hasn’t had any company today. Amazing, huh?

Have I forgiven her for allowing such loud, obnoxious and rude guests over? Nope. That’s ok, though, because she won’t know it when we give notice and get the chance to get some blind buddy of hers in here. She lost that chance last week. And believe me when I say a noise curse is going to befall her just as soon as we get a place lined up! Or sooner if the animals return. A part of me wishes they would too, just so that can serve as an incentive for me to ditch any last concerns I may have over blasting off.

Since last Wednesday’s antics, there hasn’t been much other than an occasional bark, but no fits at the fence or anything like that. She and the beast were on the patio last night from 8:00 - 9:30. She was gabbing on her little phone while poking at something I couldn’t make out that sat on the table before her. It almost seemed like a typewriter, but you wouldn’t jab at a typewriter the way she was jabbing at whatever this thing was. Although neither of them made a sound, it really does bug me to have people/animals camped right outside my bedroom like this. Especially when I’m getting ready for bed. Every time I see that damn dog lying in the yard, I wish a bunch of ants would sneak up and attack the hell out of it!

The heat flushes next door out back in the early evenings, but I haven’t heard nearly as much from them in the way of door-slamming since it got hot. This is probably because they leave their doors open all the time now so there’s nothing to slam.

Tom got more information from that guy on the house off the highway. He says the lady next door has two small dogs, which makes me think she may take them indoors when it’s cold, and that it is quiet, but I’m sure that much is subject to change once we get there, if we do get there. He wants to check out Hartman Realty first and see what they’ve got for rentals. They seem to have a lot of stuff lately while AAA has nothing.

Tom walked down to a pizza place yesterday after work and got us a large pizza to split. It was a nice treat and a nice break from the usual. We could’ve had one delivered from someone else, but they were more expensive.

MONDAY, JULY 18, 2005
Fatso has the van out front signaling that she’s going out. Why does she pull the thing out before actually leaving? The dog was tossed out at 6:30. It gave a couple of soft barks at the door to be let in almost an hour later. I get the feeling she’s waiting for her first round of many weekday visitors to come and dog-sit while she’s out. Can’t the dog stay alone for a few hours? I just hope those fucking animals don’t come back, but if they do, that’ll just make me all the more glad to escape this place and all the less worried about blasting my stereo. The only reason I’m holding back now, despite the overwhelming urge to blast the shit out of it and hope to hell I annoy her and next door who always has their windows open now, I’d like to wait till we get a place unless I’m provoked in any way before then. The chances may be slight, but there’s still the chance that complaints lodged against us could hinder us from renting a place elsewhere. So as always, they have something they could possibly hold over our heads while we never have shit to hold over anyone else’s head. Patty’s from Southern Cal and which’s a lot like Arizona where complaining is seen as a crime. Therefore, I doubt she’d complain about me. But next door might. Especially if they’re from this area.

It frustrates me to know that this is the shit we’re going to get until and if we move to a retirement community where noise is regulated. It isn’t so much the distance between us and the neighbors that matters so much as what we have between us. Barking dogs 400’ away with nothing between us would be louder than barking dogs 200’ with thick hedges between us. But thick hedges aren’t something you can just have in a matter of minutes or even days or weeks.

Later…

Wow, Fatty Patty was gone for a good 5 hours or so. Of course the dog had to go out back the minute she got in. Looks like she’s going out again too, since the van’s in the driveway.

I realized I could get an extra entry into some of the sweeps by using Tom’s name. Some say ‘only one person per email and household,’ others say ‘one per household’ or ‘one per email,’ but some let you use multiple names at the same email and household. Those are the ones I’ll enter his name in.

I’m surprised yet pleased that Tom’s not home yet. I adore my hubby, but it means he got overtime which means we got more money!

SUNDAY, JULY 17, 2005
Tom’s going to head out to do laundry soon. Meanwhile, the dog’s been out less, hasn’t barked, and she still doesn’t do weekend company. Why can’t the weekdays be like this since weekends only consist of two days? In the bathroom, we hear next door gabbing but that’s about it. I don’t ever expect to find anything quieter than this, but I’m still excited about getting into a house.

SATURDAY, JULY 16, 2005
Yesterday was the hottest day since moving into this place. Even the other rooms got hot. I was surprised to see the dog out in the early evening, but that’s what people do when it’s warm; they throw their dogs outdoors.

We’re getting ready to walk to the store soon, but first, there’s a guy at work who Tom says is moving out of a house next month. It’s a small two-bedroom house for $450. It’s heading towards the Stuart-Lennox area. We don’t know if we can get the money together in time or if we’d even qualify with the rat in the picture since the landlord only allows outdoor animals. He has a dog, this guy, which I didn’t think could be left outdoors in the dead of winter, but apparently they can be. The only indoor animals allowed there are fish.

I like the fact that it’s off a highway and has two bedrooms, but I’m not sure I like other things I heard about it. The lady next door has two dogs which they sometimes hear her yell at, and is crazy. He didn’t elaborate on how she’s crazy, but I don’t know if I want to live next to a crazy lady with two dogs that don’t seem to be allowed indoors. Haven’t I had enough crazy neighbors who don’t allow their dogs indoors?

Another turn-off is that there’s a church across the street, though since churches are only active on Sundays for the most part, this may be okay.

Another negative is that there are kids on the other side, though he did say they’ve never been a problem as far as playing on his property goes. Yeah, but do they stand outside and scream for hours at a time?

He said there’s not much of a yard but there is a long driveway with a detached garage. You can park 3 cars in the driveway, I guess.

The house uses oil heating which doesn’t do a good job, though it does also have a fireplace. He says he doesn’t know how good a job it does because he’s never used it, but that it’s also vented into one of the bedrooms.

It’s ironic that it has some features I saw in my visions, like the two bedrooms that are small and that it’s owned by an older guy, but I’m not sure this is the place for us. No yard is going to be void of barking dogs. Especially one we end up next to. Therefore, we may as well stay in the heart of the city where we can walk to stores. Tom’s going to get more information from him, but for now, we’ll keep our options open. All I know is that there is no peaceful place on earth for Tom and Jodi S.

Later…

I love it when people fuck up on us for the better. I really do! I not only got the oils today, two days sooner than expected, but I got way more than was due me! I was supposed to get 8 1-oz. bottles of the spring scents they just got in. Yet besides getting those, I got a 4-oz. bottle of extreme concentrate Watermelon which was one of the spring scents. Also, I got a 1-oz. bottle of Pink Sugar, a designer perfume that I wasn’t supposed to get either. I added that on figuring that if he was dumb enough not to know what samples he owed me that he had to ask me what they were, then I should be able to manipulate at least one freebie off of him and I did! Either way, I’m quite delighted! It smells really damn fruity in here right now.

Amazingly, Fatty Patty was gone most of the day. I didn’t see the dog till it hit the back a few minutes ago for what I’m sure will be 4-6 hours.

It was cool on the way to BK and the grocery store this morning, but it had easily climbed a good 10º by the time we were headed back. We lucked out big time with the groceries. They had sales on lots of good things like fried chicken, fish and shrimp.

FRIDAY, JULY 15, 2005
Here’s something rather unbelievable, not that I can complain. It’s already coming up on 9:00 yet I haven’t seen or heard from Fatty Patty or Freckles. No company yet either, and I can’t hear her TV. Could Miss Maimed, Crippled and Disabled actually have taken off for the day?

In my dreams!

Another thing that I’m sure is just in my dreams is getting a house outside of K-Falls. Something rural with more space around it like in Malin or Chiloquin. Would God actually let some slack loose on the leash He’s got us on and let us venture out of the city? If He did, I know it’d be just a matter of time before He yanked us back in and made us live with others.

I was reading one of the posts on the sweeps site. Sometimes they discuss things related to the sweeps, other times they don’t. One of the posts was to bitch about dogs left outside to bark all day and night. So many people agreed, saying that they didn’t see how people could be so oblivious to all the racket they make. I still can’t believe people can legally be allowed to do this anymore than I can see how those car stereos can be legal. If there’s one animal I wish God never created, it’s got to be the dog!

The only bad thing about some of the big wins is that you have to pay taxes on them. Also, they may send affidavits that require notarization. The notarization is no biggie, but the taxes may be. It wouldn’t be much of a win to get something we had to pay thousands of dollars for.

It’s ours, so I’m paranoid about the AC breaking. It wouldn’t start right away when I went to turn it on earlier.

First Tom rammed into a wall and now he’s ramming into posts. He bumped into a post and scraped his elbow as he was slowing down to cross the street.

Later…

Shit! The white car’s back, though they haven’t hit the back yet. Yeah, I knew they’d be back. I just didn’t know it’d be in just two days. This is the same time they arrived the other day, too. Well, I guess I just won’t bother waiting till we give notice before I blast off in here.

Later…

Oh, thank you, thank you, God! The car’s gone. I guess just the mother quickly came and went for some reason. This isn’t to say they didn’t drop the animals off over there and that there won’t be banging and outdoor screaming sooner or later, or that they all came and then left to get things for a barbecue, but we’ll see. Maybe it wasn’t even the same car. It could’ve been one that was identical to it, though I doubt it. I think it was them. I just hope they don’t come back and that if they do, their visit’s as quick and as quiet as this one!

I know it’s a long shot, but I’m hoping the mother won’t want to bring the animals back for fear of stirring up trouble with me or other neighbors, and not wanting to have to feel guilty about knowing she helped cause it, but that’s just not the way most people are today. First of all, the mothers quit disciplining their kids sometime in the 80s, and secondly, people just don’t care. She wouldn’t care if anything she brought or did over here caused problems or not because they wouldn’t be her problem and she wouldn’t have to be the one to live here with them. If this one does end up like Andrea at the Vista, she’ll go out of her way to have this woman bring her brood over here for the sole purpose of harassing me (and to hell if it bothers mom and daughter and racks her up loads of complaints) and the woman will be much obliged to do so. People just aren’t considerate of others.

The dog was out from 9:30 to 11:00, so we’re losing time there. It’s to be in the low 90s today which may explain why. So far, though, and despite seeing the dog, it’s as quiet as it was before Bev had the animals over for her wedding.

I can’t wait to get out of this state, but at least in this state, I can breathe better than in any other state so far. I can sing better here, too. I don’t have the tightness I’d have in other states upon warming up. It seems I don’t even have to warm up. I can just chuck it right out. I have a richer, fuller and more vibrant sound, but part of that could be age.

I’m having trouble concentrating on my story, though I have worked on it little by little. I guess I’m just so preoccupied with thoughts of getting out of here and wondering where we’re going to end up, how noisy it’ll be, etc. Well, I’m pretty sure there’ll be people not much further from us than in Phoenix, and I’m very sure there’ll be noise. I know one thing for sure, though, and that’s that we’ll never rent or buy anything sight unseen again!

Later…

Both she and the dog were out back, then she went inside. The van’s out front, so she’s going out for 5 minutes anytime now. Actually, she’s back out there now on her phone, so if the dog barks I’m sure she won’t do shit about it. Oh, now we’re gone again, and so is the dog. Perhaps it’s time to run that 5-minute errand.

Just seeing these people even when they’re quiet really plays on my nerves. It’s not just knowing that they could steal my peace at any moment, but it makes me feel so claustrophobic. I do not like having people just a few feet away or less like this! I know everybody’s different, but I feel so smothered without any breathing space around me. I miss space and privacy, though if I want privacy I can just stay in here with the blinds drawn. There’s not much to do out there anyway, even though it’s beautiful out. Will God ever see to it that it’s in my cards to have space around me again? And if so, for how long?

Patty’s too lazy to put her trash by the side of the road, so after I saw the trash guy get out, walk up to her dumpster and pull some loose trash out of it, I ran and asked him if he’d take a broken box fan (we have two others, plus the broken evaporative cooler). He said yes and was halfway up the driveway with the dumpster when I ran out and handed it to him.

THURSDAY, JULY 14, 2005
To my utter shock and definite relief, next door’s antics only lasted for about 3 hours. They played with the sprinkler, barbecued, screamed bloody murder, and basically took over the entire yard. Even mom and daughter must’ve been annoyed. If I’d known it’d only be for a few hours I never would’ve stepped out back to ask how long they’d be there, but oh well. I don’t give a shit because they drove me infuckingsane! I could hear screaming over the earplug, fan and sound machine, that’s how obnoxious they were. I stepped out to find Patty playing a game on a table with the animal’s mother on the patio. The youngest kid said, “Look, I caught a frog.” I smiled politely at him and had to call out to Patty twice to be heard over all the screaming. I asked if I could talk to her. She looked at me as if to say, “Where the hell did you come from?” but instead she said she was in the middle of a board game. I told her I wasn’t feeling well and asked how long she expected to have company. She said, “Well, until they’re ready to leave.” In other words, “They’re going to be here as long as they want, they’re going to be as loud as they want, and if you don’t like it, tough shit!” Instead, however, she said she was sorry I wasn’t feeling well. It was said with a mixture of irritation and snobbishness, too. So knowing I was wasting my time, I slammed back in here and blasted the music until they left and I was ready for bed. I was too pissed to write or do much of anything else anyway. In the past, I’d do all I could do to keep the peace with neighbors, but now I just don’t give a shit anymore. I was nice to her, I was quiet, I gave her a puzzle, and this is what I get for it. She has not one ounce of consideration and I can tell you right now that I’m so, so fucking sick of being the quiet one. The respectful one. The one who’s considerate. And now I’m tired of being considerate of those who don’t give a damn about me or anyone else! The urge to blast my stereo is overwhelming as hell, but I’m going to hold off until we give notice unless the animals return so that it doesn’t go egging her on to turn the TV up even louder when he’s trying to sleep in the living room. He sleeps along the dividing wall, and everyone who lives over there seems to love to put the TV along that wall. It’ll be up to her how soon I blast off. The ball’s in her court. It’s her move, but in the end there, quiet or not, I promise I’ll be like everyone else and I’ll live life as I see fit, totally oblivious to those around me! I’ll be in my own little world that no one can penetrate. Tom says to do what I have to do, even though there’d be a slight risk of us having a hard time renting a place if we get complained on. Oh, I intend to do what I have to do alright!

As of yet, the TV went on and the dog was put out back for the day just before 6:30. The TV can’t be heard so far over the fan, but without the fan, it’s very easy to hear. I wish little needles with sprout up from the ground in back every few inches or so. That’d keep the fucking beast from taking a shit fit right by the bedroom!

Doesn’t this bitch realize that her company was just as rude to her as they were to me? When you bring unruly kids you don’t discipline or teach any manners to over to a place someone’s renting, you not only annoy their neighbors, but you risk getting them complained on as well.

I’m not even bothering to tell her when we give notice. Fuck her. In fact, I told Tom that I want him to try not to give notice till right before they close on the 1st because I don’t want her to know when we’re moving and to have Pam send any buddies over to check the place out. I want her to get a stranger that’ll drive her insane! I already took down the front wind chimes as a throw-off. I don’t care what Tom tells Pam. He can politely tell her the truth and let her know that the barking, TV and door-slamming have simply gotten old. By waiting till the last minute, the fat bitch will be more than likely to have already paid her rent (assuming she doesn’t mail it) so Pam probably won’t have the opportunity to tell her we gave notice.

I don’t know about others, but I think it’s rude to throw your dog outside for so long with others living so close, no matter how quiet the thing is overall. Same with the company. You shouldn’t bring screaming kids to a place so close to others, especially one connected to others. Some may argue that she has a right to pets and company, but it’s just as easy for me to argue back saying that I have a right to live in peace! I can’t believe this is the same person who came knocking on the door to apologize for her housekeeper bringing over her dog and to say how bad she felt because I’d just told her she was quiet. You know, the one who said she didn’t want any problems with her neighbors? It’s scary how quickly and how drastically people can change! And this bitch is not quiet! She’s not the noisiest neighbor I’ve had, but she gets worse and worse with time and I don’t know why. Could it be because she’s saying to herself, “Well, they’re moving soon, so what the hell?”

While they were rudely partying up a storm, I wished so badly that I worked too, not only to double our income but because neither of us would ever know about this 3-hour nightmare. However, God wouldn’t have given me this schedule curse in the first place if He wanted me to double our income and escape any shit on the home front.

If I’d been asked when she first moved in which one I thought was worse, her or Bev, I’d have said they were about equal, but no more! Bev didn’t have the dog or the TV blaring. The question now is, how often will the animals visit and will they always be just 3-hour visits? Or will they end up staying for days?

I was surprised to learn from Tom that it was quiet between the time he got in and crashed. She really didn’t seem the least bit happy to see me yesterday, so I thought she’d react childishly like the Vista Ventana bitch and slam around every chance she got, but as of yet, she’s sticking to the usual routine of dog and TV. Well, if I can stay on days till we leave, and I certainly plan to do my best, I can live with that much as long as nothing else happens or what I’ve already got to deal with doesn’t worsen. But God help her once we get down to the last few days! Maybe even the last few weeks. Yes, someone else is going to fall under a little noise curse of their own for once! How I’d love to come back here around midnight one night and turn on her front and back faucets! She’d not only have quite a wet mess, but she’d have to pay for all that water.

We’ve even decided to postpone the yard sale. Not just because I don’t want to see these people, but because it’s a busy street and we know we’d be better off doing it at a real house. That way we could also meet those around us and get a better idea of just who’s annoying us over there. The more we know, the more ammo we have if they provoke us into having to take any action of any kind against them. How I’d love to sue someone! Oh God, if you won’t let us win big by way of the lottery or sweepstakes, please let us sue someone!

Nah, He’d only protect them. No matter how much of a case I had, and I have had cases before, He’s gotta always protect my perps. I just wish I knew why He keeps sending me all these people to pick on me. I can see if I screwed them over and asked for what I got, but this is totally insane and old. I don’t even have to look for trouble. It comes looking for me and does a grand job of finding me, too!

Later…

A blue car that looks like Bev’s was here, and now the red pickup’s here. Surprisingly, she pulled the dog in not long after she first let it out, but then I heard it barking inside the back door when the first of her company arrived like it wanted to escape whoever it was. I don’t know if she let it out or shut the door because I sought escape through music. Headphones, that is, until and if the animals return. I hope I at least got the part about them being out-of-towners right so that they’ll move on soon if they haven’t already.

Someone ought to report her lazy ass to the Disability people. Just like with the last one, there’s not a damn thing disabled about Miss Fatty Patty here. The only thing that’s become disabled is her consideration for others. And that ain’t no “service dog” either, I’m sure. How can it service her? By annoying her neighbors? I bet she’d spite next door with it just to spite me by letting it bark its ass off at the dividing fence. A lot of people are like that; they don’t care who they have to burn or annoy along the way in order to get to the one they’re really after. She’d probably even risk the dog’s life itself by pissing off the wrong person with it. One who would poison it or something. We checked out poison ourselves but found that you have to give it many large doses in order for it to be effective, which totally figures.

Well, if there’s any good in it it’s that we should have roughly 45 days to go of living with her and her beast, assuming we leave a few days early. You usually are given the keys at the end of the month. In the meantime, I deal with it by telling myself as often as I have to that the time will pass fast enough and she’ll be just another memory just like Bev is. The thought of being replaced with other rude assholes sort of dampens the excitement of knowing that I only have a little over a month to deal with whatever shit this one dishes at me.

I just hope her next neighbor drives her up the wall! A couple of college dudes would be just perfect for her, if not a pack of freeloaders. I don’t know if Pam would sic that on her, but she considered siccing a hippie on us, so maybe she won’t care as long as they pay first month and the deposit.

Meanwhile, next door’s been quieter. It’s like they’ve swapped off with her or something. Then again, I’ve been asleep during their most active times.

Later…

The pickup’s gone, and if it’s anything like old times, the dog will be in for the day and there won’t be any more company either. Just the TV.

It really sucks, though, to wake up each day never knowing what to expect from this rude bitch!

Later…

Yay! My samples are being shipped today. Guess that means I’ll get them on Monday.

My date palm also has spider mites, but I’m not getting rid of it! I sprayed and dusted the webs off. It figures my favorite kind of trees in the whole world (palms) have to have these things!

Here’s vehicle #3, the big maroon pickup. At least there are no screaming, banging animals!

WEDNESDAY, JULY 13, 2005
Got a letter from Mary. She said she was amazed at all the mistakes the publisher pointed out because she thought my book was top-notch. Also, it discourages her from the thought of getting her own book published, though she did have her lawyer copyright it. She agrees it’s at least good to know we can write for fun and not have to have the pressure of perfection put on us. She said that as always, she’d love to read anything I’ve written, so I sent her my last book which isn’t that long.

She’s now talking about possibly being in for 3 more years. The prosecutor’s going to push for the max which is 10-15 years in prison, though she doubts he’ll win. They’re moving to that large dorm they’ve been building next month, but her address will be the same. I’ll bet she’s dreading it big time! It’ll be so tent-like.

She thought the sweeping and winning of the shoes were cool. The shoe people say they still haven’t received them from their warehouse, but that I’ll get them as soon as they do.

She’s also now in direct touch with José which I was glad to hear. Not just because I’m happy for her, but because that keeps them off my ass with the favors. I guess he got permission from the warden by letting them know that Mary’s his fiancée.

She said she was glad things are better for us and that she hopes I can one day strike a truce with God due to the good things I’ve had in the midst of small bad things, but as I told her, I’ve had more than “small bad things” happen to me in my life. Try tons of horrible biggies! If I’d had a few bum raps in life, that’d be one thing, but I truly believe with all my heart that my life has been rather extreme when it came to the negatives in it. It was not right, not fair, and I did not deserve it. Not what I got as a child, not what I got as an adult, none of it. However, it does make the good times all the more wonderful. No doubt about that! Still, I don’t know about a truce since for every blessing I’ve had, I’ve had a million curses to go with it, but I do appreciate how much better we’re doing. Oh, how I do appreciate it! Words cannot describe the stress it takes off of us, though we still have a full plate to deal with. I’ve got the stress of being sandwiched in by what can sometimes be noisy neighbors. Then there’s finding a house to rent and saving up to get out of state, etc.

It’s to be in the low 90s for the next 4 days, so maybe that’ll keep dogs and people indoors more often. Next door was quieter yesterday, but the dog’s still spending half the day outdoors. It may’ve only been 4 hours yesterday, but that’s enough. I woke up hot in the middle of my sleep at 8 PM and was contemplating getting up to turn the AC on when I heard it bark loud and clear over the fan and the sound machine. It made me wonder how I’ve managed to sleep through it in the past. I wondered the same thing when I was just going to sleep one day and heard them edging. The mowers aren’t too loud, but the edger is. So that time I got up to pee and went back to sleep to what I thought was the dog barking, obviously wasn’t. It’s amazing how horrible a job the fan does of blocking sounds in an elevated structure, versus one built on a concrete foundation. Fans roaring, sound machines blaring, yet I still hear everything in this place! I suppose that’s one reason God won’t let us move to a place with a cellar.

Tom’s going to get overtime this week and next, but that still doesn’t tell us if we can give notice in August or not. I guess that if we’re willing to take whatever we can get, and I am since I know anything we could get will have to be noisy, we should be able to line up a place to move into in September as long as they don’t want last month’s rent, along with first month’s and a deposit.

Later…

Good. After leaving the dog out for 3 hours and leaving it to go off at the cats twice, Patty just pulled out. No one’s over there either, and the dog’s inside. They were doing some kind of construction work on the corner, so she had to wait a few minutes to get out. Hopefully, when she returns in 5 minutes, she’ll have to wait even longer to pull in. By then I’d like to think it’d be too warm for the dog, at least in her opinion, to toss it out back. I thought this was supposed to be an indoor dog that she’s always with when she does leave it out for long periods of time. This is obvious bullshit. I think she’s leaving her back door open so it can come and go as it pleases because I see it back there, then it disappears, then it’s back, and so on and so forth. I definitely have to stay on days till we move. Especially if this is to be a regular thing, and until October it probably is. And Mary hopes I can strike a truce with God? Just His having me live with other people’s noise year after year is enough to turn me off of that idea. Meanwhile, the rest of his family and mine can live it up in peace and always be nice and comfy financially while they’re at it.

Right now all I want to do is give notice! We don’t need lots of choices, especially expensive ones. The sooner we hit California, the sooner he can get a job with benefits and climb the ladder to success till some asshole lays him off or fires him and he has to start all over again cuz God loves to kick us down once we get up. The sooner we can buy a house, too! So no, the more I think about it, the more I think a longer stay in a quieter place isn’t the way to go. Let’s just give the evil above what it wants, re-sandwich ourselves in the city, but in a house, and then get out of this shitty state! Besides, it’s only gonna be way noisier down there so I guess this is good practice for me to build back up to the Phoenix-like noise I’ll be in for down there.

Someone said they got a prize a year after the sweep ended! And they didn’t even know they won till they got it. Some say they’ve swept for years and have only won a couple of things while others say they’ve won lots of big prizes. It all comes down to fate. If God continues to not want us to have much money, then I won’t be allowed to win big. Since I’m so worthless, I hope they do give him a good raise, but I don’t even see a buck’s raise, let alone the two bucks he’s hoping for.

Later…

Oh no! God, please don’t do this to me. I know you hate me, but please, please not a carbon copy of what I went through with Bev! There are at least 3 kids out back from what I can see, ranging from ages 5-10.

As they were pulling in, Patty left the dog barking at the back door. I called out her name and she apparently got the dog just as I went around to see what distracted her, though it was back out with the people in no time.

Finally fed up with listening to these people scream and bang (though there was more screaming than banging because they were outside for the most part), I said to myself, “Why should I be the quiet one? No one’s quiet for me.” So I cranked my stereo up and did some singing.

These people have to be out-of-towners and planning to stay overnight. If they were locals, then why haven’t I seen them before? And why was she hang-drying throw pillows? And I thought it was stressful living with her before it warmed up! At least then the dog wasn’t out for hours at a time, the TV wasn’t blaring, and she never had kids over. I’m sick of this shit! I’m really sick of it! Everywhere I fucking go I have to deal with this shit and hear every move that others make! Thanks, God! Thanks a lot!

MONDAY, JULY 11, 2005
I’ve been pigging out, so I’m back to 125 pounds. Oh well. Anyway, the neighbors decided I should sleep without interruptions last night, so I did. I appreciate it, too. I slept from 4 PM - midnight, so I’m almost back on days. The only real disturbance around here was the dog going off on the cats, but this time she came right out and got it. Of course the damn thing was right back at it just minutes later. It was out for hours.

We walked to the store early yesterday morning and put the AC in the window later on. The hose Tom got wouldn’t vent enough heat, so since the cord was longer than he thought, we were able to put it in the window. It had to go in the one on Patty’s side so he could get the screen out easier. The bedroom windows are high and there’s a slope between us and next door since Shasta Way is a big mountain. So to have put it in on the door-slamming side would’ve been quite a reach even for someone as tall as Tom. Next door’s duplexes themselves aren’t staggered because they’re turned the other way, but Patty’s place is a couple of feet higher than ours, which is part of why the walls are thick enough to do as good of a job as they do with blocking non-vibrant sounds.

Later…

The dog’s been let out for what will no doubt be many hours. I’ve got the fan on now because if there’s any barking or banging, I so do not want to hear it! Besides, it’s been a while since I worked on my story, so I think I’ll get back to it.

Meanwhile, I hope someone will answer my emails as to why I haven’t received the shoes I won, and why I never got my free oil samples.

It’s going to be pretty warm today and tomorrow at 85º and 90º, so maybe that’ll put a damper on outside activities.

Later…

Patty just left, leaving the dog in back, and the chick who drives the red pickup next door. Well, I just hope she’ll come get the damn thing if it goes off. Knowing Patty, though, she’ll be back in 5 minutes. I wish it had been the other way around and that Patty was our winter neighbor while Bev was our summer neighbor. I’m sure God had it planned out this way, though, just so the dog could be outside so much. I almost wish it would be in the 90s every day till we move since the AC should only need to run about 4-6 hours a day. Why bother wishing this, though? We’ll just be moving from one dog to another. I know the people on the sides of wherever we end up will have barking dogs, and God only knows how many screaming kids and bassy stereos to go with them! The so-called mystery neighbor is forever out of reach for me. This dog is quiet most of the time it’s out there. It just lies on the patio. However, just knowing it’s out there and that it could go off and disrupt either my train of thought or my sleep is what’s nerve-wracking. That and next door’s doors are why I’m determined to stay on days, even if it means I have to deal with people’s shit more often since I did sleep through some of it. I’d rather not lose sleep because I do that enough in life without the extra help. I’m going to lose sleep for months when we move to Sacramento like when we moved here.

Come to think of it, Patty seemed rather decked out as she was pulling out, and why would she leave someone here while she went to an appointment or out shopping? Wouldn’t the visitor just leave and come back tomorrow? Maybe she’s not simply running errands. Maybe she’s going to be out all day.

Still no word from SOS. I’m almost certain the cock used the offering of the free samples as a ploy to get people to order. I’m not even getting a reply from the shoe people. Again, at least there was no money lost.

Later…

Now no one’s in the driveway. Hopefully, Patty came back, pulled into the garage, and the pickup left. I’d hate to think Patty’s still out and that the pickup left, leaving the dog to do whatever it pleases in back!

We didn’t bother to put the foam up in the door-slamming window because I think the AC will be sufficient enough. After all, this isn’t Arizona or Florida. Also, it’d make opening the window at night a real bitch. Tom thought it would cut down the sound of the doors slamming, but I disagree because it’s too vibrant a sound that shakes the whole room. I’ve felt them go slamming back and forth even with the headphones blaring in my ears. It just reverberates right under the floor. It’s like sonic booms. If there was a cellar here, then it probably wouldn’t have that effect. The house I see us moving to has no cellar or garage, though, so I’ll have to deal with car doors shaking the place instead, but hopefully they won’t come and go as often as these fat assholes do. I’m sure someone will be home all the time, but maybe, just maybe they’ll stay put and not have a ton of company.

SUNDAY, JULY 10, 2005
Well, they woke me up again next door with the door slamming. And damn God to hell for doing this to me year after year everywhere I go! I still don’t know if it’s compensation for not having to have an alarm wake me up regularly for work, but it still gets old. A person who’s either out of work, retired, disabled or on their days off, should be able to sleep.

Tom said that if he could get a raise, we could afford to rent a rural place like the one for this double-wide house that’s on an 11-acre lot. Forget it, I told him. First of all, whatever’s up there probably won’t let him have that much of a raise. Secondly, I doubt it’d let us do rural again anytime soon, if ever again. We should just plan on a house crammed in the city because that’s where it wants us, like it or not. I’m not going to waste my time struggling to get to places I’m not meant to be. At least in a house, while we’d have to listen to people’s shit there too, we’ll at least be detached from them. We won’t always feel like we are, but we will be, and I’ll be able to blast my music.

Then again, maybe rural living is meant to be. I didn’t think California was meant to be, yet it’s a done deal so long as nothing kills me before we can get there. I hate the cold, but I hate people more. This means that sure, I’d rather two years in a rural place, versus a year sandwiched in between people who always have to have something going on with them before we get to California, but that’s what I’m destined for, so why fight it? Maybe if I just roll with the punches, God will give me a break later on in life. I doubt it, but it’s worth a try. Besides, as with most things in my life, I don’t have much choice, do I?

I swore I heard the dog barking inside its place at 11:00. I went and looked, but no company came to the door, so I don’t know what she’s doing to set it off. Sometimes dogs just bark for no reason just like babies cry for no apparent reason half the time.

It rained today, but it’s going to be hot again by Tuesday, so we’re going to set the AC up in here, but not in the window. He’s going to get a hose to vent the heat out the window because that’ll be easier to seal up in these oddly shaped windows. Also, the AC’s cord isn’t long enough to reach the outlet from the window. I hope to hell there’ll be no problem with getting it set up by the time the heat returns, but if there is I’ll move my bed out to the dining area, save us some money, and hopefully some wake-up calls, too.

Just after 6:00 yesterday morning, I felt like a caged animal, so after being cooped up in here between these people for two weeks, we walked to Burger King. Tom hurt his toe by ramming into a block wall while riding his bike because he so foolishly went digging into his pocket for something along the way. He’s damn lucky he didn’t get hit by a car! And just as lucky to not be checking the mail when this delivery truck swiped the boxes where packages are left, knocking its door off. It happened when we were half a block away. The guy got out of his truck and examined it. The individual boxes where the regular mail goes were bent over a bit, but intact.

When we got back, Tom offered to stop at the incense store later on because he had to go to Fred Meyer, and I said he could give it a try, but I doubted she’d be there. I said I was pretty sure they’d be closed for some reason, be it because someone died, someone got sick, etc. Sure enough, there was a note saying they were closed due to a death in the family. See what I mean about people not dying when we need them to and those that do die to die at our expense or putting us out somehow? I’m just going to order from Bendejo Bob once we get moved, no matter how long I have to wait. SOS’s shit gives me headaches, makes my eyes watery, is too smoky even when it’s cut, and I didn’t get all I was supposed to get. Bendejo says he’s got the Angel I like and will sell me 1-oz. sizes for $1.50. That’s way cheap compared to other places. This lady’s a prime example of why I don’t like others working for us if we can help it. They not only fuck up, but they’ve always got excuses. The old ‘my kid got sick’ and the ‘death in the family’ routine are the two most popular. It’s probably not even true. If you learned of a death in your family, would your store be the first thing you’d think of? Would you think to run down to it and post an explanation as to why you’re closed? Even if you learned of the death while there, you’re more than likely going to be too distraught to think of these things. They’re probably just lazy people who are well off enough financially to take time off. It doesn’t take much to survive in this cheap shit of a town, and with her oil prices so pumped up, that should help a lot right there. I just can’t believe she could find that many people to buy them.

Because we don’t have a bank account, we’re having trouble cashing the checks that the queen sent. We’re going to get a debit card. You have to pay monthly fees, but they allow you to make online purchases and you can even have checks directly deposited on them. They each have different benefits. Tom’s researching them now. We discussed various ways to get the checks cashed, and one of them is to write the immortal bitch with the checks enclosed and ask that she send cash or a money order. I told him he could use me and tell them my teeth are falling out and that I can’t get a job cuz of the sickos; whatever he wants. I doubt it’ll get us any more money, though, and I still can’t believe they even bothered sending anything for Christmas, birthdays and anniversaries. Talk about a backward group of people!

I noticed that I haven’t felt any pain lately in the tooth that’s given me the most trouble over the last couple of years. Hopefully, it’s dead now, too!

Hurricane Dennis has moved through Haiti, then Florida, and now it’s swinging over to the Gulf. May it destroy Mexico and save our tax dollars and make America safer!

The sick fucking Arabs are bombing countries one by one. Their latest target is London. They bragged about it online too, saying it was because England got involved in the Iraqi war. They’re also saying they fear a backlash from them. Aw, poor babies! They should’ve thought about that before they bombed them, shouldn’t they? Some people make no sense. It’s like when the blacks went crying to the pigs after tormenting me the way they did. People don’t seem to get that when you harass or harm others, you’re likely to get a nasty reaction on account of it.

FRIDAY, JULY 8, 2005
The good news is that the oils came a day early. The bad news is that they left out the spring scent samples they were to enclose with all orders made during the holiday. Yeah, I knew they couldn’t be that good. They’re always good the first time around, then they get progressively worse and worse. I’d sure like to find a supplier and do away with the middleman! Meanwhile, I got everything else and they all smell good, even though one of the old favorites I got doesn’t smell like Bob’s version. The Deep Fried Ice Cream is the best of this round. Meanwhile, I emailed SOS to let them know I never received the samples. I hope they’ll send them, but they may not since I didn’t pay for them. They may even try to insist they did send them, but if they do I’ll dump them. I’d rather wait forever to get stuff I know I’ll like from Bob than quickly get stuff I don’t like as much from this dude, or worse, not get everything I’m supposed to get. At least Bob eventually sends all that’s due to me. I also emailed Bob asking for the name of his supplier, though I don’t know if he’ll divulge that information to me or not.

I did some research and while I couldn’t find any sites that weren’t stores like IG and SOS, I found a couple with interesting features. The sites are a bit hard to navigate, but they sell cut versions of their oils. They also sell half-dram sample sizes for a buck or two each. They have sexual scents I’ve never heard of like Titi Twister and Wet Hot Orgasm.

We’re going to have a bit of a cool spell over the next few days, though I’m still dreading August in this place. I’m going to have to be on days, even if it means listening to people’s shit around here because it’ll simply be too hot to sleep in here during August. I can’t see how it won’t get into the 90s here during that time.

Next door continues to be annoying, and Patty’s back to having her red pickup visitor in the mornings. When I got up at 8:30 this evening, she was on her patio barbecuing. She also had a cooler out there. I was worried that this meant an hour or two of barking since she was also on her cell phone which makes her oblivious to the world around her, but I didn’t hear anything. Why would she need the cooler, though? Why not just run and grab drinks from the fridge? This is just a drawback to the cooler days; she camps out back there on days that aren’t as warm. At this point, though, if I could get rid of the dog, versus next door, I’d knock next door right outa the picture.

I was surprised to awake at 121 pounds. Why, I do not know. I haven’t been cutting my calories overly low, though I also haven’t been getting carried away either. Tom thinks it’s the variety I’ve been having. Maybe it also has to do with being in a seasonal climate. Seasonal climates tend to cause you to lose weight in the summer and gain in the winter.

It looks like Tom’s going to end up doing overtime all this week. The question is, though, how many more years will we have to be scrunched in so close to others like this? And why is it so meant to be that way??? It really bothers me to think of all the people I know who can live in houses with space around them while I can’t. Makes me feel all the more singled out and picked on. Why is it so important to God that I live huddled with others? It can’t be to get me to be the social butterfly I have no desire to be, so it’s obvious that He’s doing it to stress me out. I got Patty’s TV blaring to the left and doors slamming to the right, sprinkled with occasional barks and shrilly laughter, and it gets old. It really does. Why can’t we just have our own private little piece of earth that no one invades? Why must I always, always hear from neighbors and know what’s going on with them? The outrageous gas prices are only going to make it even more impossible to live in rural areas. With the way they are, we have no choice but to remain squeezed in the city with people just a few feet away. Well, we can’t make something be that isn’t meant to be any more than we can avoid what is meant to be, so I may as well accept it.

Later…

SOS ignored my email, so I emailed them again. More than likely the dumb cock realized he was offering too much free stuff, stopped enclosing samples when he realized he was in over his head, and now he’s ignoring anyone who emails asking about them. I’ll just order my old favorites in 1/4 lb. sizes after we move when we have $50 available. Make that $65 to cover shipping. I may have to practically get down on my knees and beg Bob to send it, but he’ll come through eventually. The Fragrant Flame’s oil was a rip-off, and I want to use up my sticks and be done with sticks.

I’m almost sure that what SOS calls Hawaiian Rain is really Tranquility, which is still a good one. Meanwhile, the Cookie Dough, Cookies & Cream, Peanut Butter Crunch and Deep Fried Ice Cream, all smell similar in incense form.

Come Monday I’ll send email #2 to the shoe people, but I’m beginning to have my doubts that they’re going to come through.

Patty’s back to blasting her TV again. My first thought was to go over there and ask her to lower it, but I’m just so sick and fucking tired of having to ask neighbors to curb their noise. What, should I have standard forms or something to pass out wherever we live? “Please lower your music,” and “Please quiet your kids down,” and “Please don’t bang so much,” and “Please curb your dog’s barking.” I also got another wake-up call from next door. I was able to fall back asleep, but must they slam their grill cover so fucking hard? I’m never going to escape neighbors annoying me and waking me up. Never. The thought of a lifelong noisy neighbor curse makes me want to tear the hair out of my head! We’re never going to live in a place quieter than this and I know that, but maybe, just maybe we stand a chance of getting a little peace in a retirement community. We’ll find out in 18 years.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 6, 2005
To my surprise, Tom worked 11 hours yesterday! Just maybe we will get out of here in September. I hope so. I’m sick of next door taking up residence outside our windows for hours on end! I can’t even pee in peace between the late afternoon and mid-evening. The question is, is something up there helping us out of here to be nice to us, or is it simply eager to put us next to what we were next to in Phoenix? Well, to say there was a neighbor curse on us in Phoenix, and in Maricopa too, when you think about it, is an understatement! Therefore, I’m hopeful that we’ll be compensated in the future. Not too hopeful, though. Not after all these years. Still, Patty, and even next door, are nothing compared to past neighbors. They’re just too close!

Anyway, Tom’s hopeful that he may get more overtime and even a raise since one of the bosses quit. This is one of the bosses that had him do things no one else could do.

I dread the end of the year when the threat of being laid off will once again be on the rise. He pointed out that he now has more clout here in K-Falls should he need a new job, but that’s just the problem – there are no other jobs out there or else he’d have gotten one.

As of yet, there have been no new updates on the progress of my package. I guess it could be anywhere between Illinois and here. It’ll probably have to circulate through Portland, Salem and Eugene before it gets here.

Later…

Next door’s been their usual laughing, chatting, banging selves, but Freckles has been quieter. Perhaps it’s because she’s being let out more in the morning rather than the afternoon. This is better because there’s less activity to bark at in the mornings than in the afternoons.

I spoke to Patty yesterday morning when I saw her out de-turding the backyard. Freckles was funny because when I opened the door and called out, she ran up to her door. When I told her she had the wrong door, she came running around the railing to see me.

Patty doesn’t want the plant because her friend just brought her some plants, so she says.

I told her we’d have a yard sale in August, which as she agrees, is a good time to have it. I may keep the plant till we have the yard sale we’re going to have before going to California.

She wants me to let her know when we officially give notice because she has a friend that she wants to get in here. An older guy who’s nearly blind, I guess. She has a year’s lease, so she better hope she either gets a friend in here or at least someone who’s quiet. She still has a chance to move to the Oregon coast to a quiet, private place, she also says, whatever that means.

She says it’s nice and cool on her side. I figured as much. I raised the fan closer to the window so that I can cool it down easier at night in here. It’s going to be in the low 70s in a few days. I guess we’re in for some rain around that time since that’s pretty much the only reason the temperature drops during the summer.

I told her I looked forward to being in a house where I could blast my music and she asked me what kind of music I like. I told her mostly 70s music, and she said she loves the 60s. I asked if she could hear me singing and she said no, we’re so quiet that she wonders if we’re even here at times.

We were talking about how Tom’s been riding his bike to save on gas money, and she said she was afraid to ride a bike because bike riders and pedestrians get killed around here. Well, let’s hope Tom’s not one of them!

A guy was in back picking up branches from the old tree they cut down, saying he’d be back to mow tomorrow. It needs it, too.

The best thing Patty told me that got me quite ecstatic is that she doesn’t know if there are cacti in Sacramento, but they do have palm trees! I was so glad to hear that! Not only do I miss living amongst them, but I’d really like to get this palm in the ground somewhere as soon as I can. I don’t know if it’ll live, but it’s growing like crazy and I don’t want the pot it’s in to choke the life right out of it before I can plant it somewhere. Hopefully, the pot won’t be too small for quite a while, though, because palms don’t have big root balls.

The only other thing she told me was that she fell asleep in the sun at some lake over the weekend and got burned and that her doctor told her not to do anything for two weeks. She’s on medication that forbids her from being out in the sun too, which I was glad to hear. Maybe that’s another reason she and the dog aren’t hanging out back in the afternoons.

Tom got two hours of overtime, but we still won’t know which month we’re giving notice until a couple of weeks from now. I’d say something up there is either teasing me with this overtime or is actually going to be kind to me for once, after all I’ve been through. See, just like the blacks think us whites owe them, I think God owes me! Very much so. And I don’t care how spoiled or selfish it sounds either.

Earlier this evening my package made it to Portland, then left there a few minutes later, so it’s on its way down!

The birds are back to not singing in the bird clock, so who knows what the problem is? I guess it’s just that if it’s something we own, it must break.

My ear was back to hurting again too, and just when I went back to thinking it was my ear and not my tooth, I lost more of that tooth. It’s now 90% gone. The ear pain’s backed off again, too.

MONDAY, JULY 4, 2005
Got up just in time today at 8:30 pm. A half-hour later, the impatient ones started with their firecrackers. Next door shot some off in front of their place. By 10:00 it was booming. I still hear some going off, though it’s tapered down a bit. By midnight it should be pretty much dead out there.

Tom said Patty was out all day and that next door was quiet.

It was 84º in here when I got up, so I guess the tin foil I put up really does help drop it at least a few degrees. It’s to be 85º today, but by Friday, it will have dropped down to 73º.

My oils left Illinois two days ago and sat still today and yesterday. They should be on the move again early in the morning.

Whether or not he gets overtime will determine if we give notice in August or in September, which means I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if he didn’t get any more. He got overtime a few days last week and says it’ll be a day-to-day thing that will be hard to predict in advance.

I can’t sweep for another hour so I think I’ll go listen to music for now.

I’ve currently written 3333 journal pages! It would be closer to 4000 had I not lost 6 months back when I met Tom. That was a hell of a time to lose, too! Losing the NHA or Deerfield time would’ve been better if I had to lose any at all.

SUNDAY, JULY 3, 2005
The weather’s been warm. I cool it down to the low 70s at night, but by the late afternoon, it’s in the mid-80s. I put foil in the window to deflect the sunlight, though I doubt it’ll help much with the temperature. In August I may not even be able to sleep in here during the daytime.

Haven’t heard from Patty and the dog, but I’ve heard from next door, not surprisingly. They barbecue every day and I can sometimes hear their voices and TV in the evenings through their open windows when I’m in the bathroom. It’s no surprise. I had strong vibes about them being outdoorsy as soon as we moved in. I knew God would have it that way being that they’re right outside the bedroom window. The question is – what’s He going to sic on us at the house? Well, whatever it is, we won’t be attached to anyone.

Tom installed a recorder on my computer which is great because it allows me to record stuff from the radio and make MP3s out of whatever songs I want, which are usually the ones I can’t find anywhere.

I was reading an article about the 10 most common things teen girls talk about. I was open to discussion on most of the same things they listed myself as a teen. So if I was just another normal, ordinary teenager, why did they drug me up and ship me away?

FRIDAY, JULY 1, 2005
Another hot one. I’ve got the fan on and both the bathroom and bedroom windows are open. They’re not going to barbecue or hang outside now, so it’s ok. Especially with the fan going.

Patty wasted her time watering this evening. She obviously doesn’t know that he watered at 5:00 this morning. She had the dog outside early this morning for at least half an hour. It was sitting on its patio while she was inside. If it eventually barked, I don’t know because I threw the fan and sound machine on, plus an earplug, and hit the sack.

I am a plump 125-pounder but have decided that getting skinny simply isn’t worth the hunger. I’d only pack the weight back on in no time anyway.

Tons of new sweeps came in today, being the 1st and all. I vibe that between yesterday and today’s expiring sweeps, I won something. I just don’t know what, though with my luck it’s probably something cheap. If it’s not something we can sell, then I hope it’s something I’d enjoy. I try to avoid sweeps with items I don’t want and couldn’t sell. I either have to want it for myself or feel it’s a good sell item like a $5,000 bike would be, or diamond jewelry, or a vehicle.

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Last updated July 17, 2024