November 2022 in 2020-2024

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2022
I have finally been ultrasounded! Still suspect nothing is going to show up, but at least I won’t be wondering anymore as to whether or not I could have gallstones. This is the third day I’ve been relatively back to normal, save for some cramps. I should know for sure in a few days.

Surprisingly, they never mowed today, so that didn’t wake me up. I still didn’t sleep all that well, which is typical before an appointment. I got up around 12:30 and we left at 2. The appointment was for 2:30, but I wasn’t seen until just after 3 so we were there for about 45 minutes. The waiting room was pretty busy. They do all kinds of imaging there from x-rays to mammograms to MRIs. No blasting TV or music, but the old guy sitting next to me wouldn’t shut up. LOL, he was constantly talking to me or to himself. His wife was getting a mammogram and when they left, I whispered, “Good riddance” into Tom’s ear. He laughed understandingly.

It was mostly old folks there, but hey, this is Florida. I think all but one person there was under 55. The scan was done by an older lady (surprised?) and it only took a few minutes. It was kind of funny when she said my stomach may feel a bit sticky for a while because of the gel she used. But as I told her, that would feel a lot better than what I’ve been feeling this last month.

It was a beautiful warm, sunny, 81-degree day while it was 53 degrees at the old place in NorCal and 33 degrees where we lived in Oregon. LOL

After we left the place we went to BK and I got a burger and fries which left no room for dessert, which would have been the chocolate-covered cherries I got with our grocery order this morning. I can enjoy those later.

Somebody at Walmart must have been on serious drugs because they gave us bananas that were half peeled and half rotten. I don’t know what the hell they were thinking when they bagged them! Did they really think that would be acceptable and that we would eat what was left of them?

So we took our food home and ate, and then we both went down for a nap. I slept for about an hour, him a little longer. I’m still a little groggy, but looking forward to enjoying the night and doing the things I enjoy doing.

The witchcraft kit came with a free gift. I thought they were stickers at first, but they’re temp tats. I put a pinkish-red rose on my upper arm. A butterfly on my hand or ankle is next.

The earbuds were easy to sync to one of my phones, but they’re not comfortable. They’re a little big for my small ear, but still suitable for whenever the hell I can get up the energy to go out walking as well as on the road whenever we get back to the beach. That’s the one thing I still struggle with is that most of the time I don’t have much energy. I’m not horribly fatigued like I used to be, but I could use a little more vigor.

One of the things I look forward to doing tonight, as usual, is playing golf together and then some rounds by myself, as well as VZ. I went through Iceland, which was the second boring ride in this challenge. Just a barren mountain range with dull colors. Then I rode in Mexico and Newfoundland, and now I’m in Kenya.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2022
I “saw” DeSantis as president in my dreams last night. Really hope that’s not a dream premonition, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.

I was so pissed because the imaging center left a message nearly an hour before we were about to leave, saying that they wouldn’t have a technician there that late and that they put me in for tomorrow at 2:30 instead. What that really means is someone wanted to go home early. They would have known at the beginning of the day if they wouldn’t have anybody there that late. So thanks to their laziness, I had to be put out and we may have to reschedule our grocery order. I really wanted to get it over with.

So now I have to hope the mowers don’t disrupt my sleep tomorrow so I can sleep in close to the appointment since I have to fast. The fucking garbage truck woke me up, as expected, although I was getting up around that time anyway. At least they didn’t reschedule it for the morning. That would have been really hard on me.

Ironically enough, though, I’ve been better the last couple of days. I was stuck yesterday, and I went today with minimal cramps. I have a feeling they’re not going to find anything and I’m going to be left to wonder what the hell happened and hope it doesn’t happen again, of course. There’s still the possibility of the fluoride theory. Maybe that’s what made me sick and stopping it is what’s made me better.

I didn’t like the feel of the new mouse, so since it was cheap, it will just serve as a backup.

I tried cycling mode in VZfit, and it was okay. I still prefer the board.

I had been going crazy trying to figure out the witchcraft kit in the best way to go about casting various spells since it didn’t come with any instructions for that. I guess the best thing is to just keep it simple and use the proper candles, herbs and stones that represent the outcome I want. I saw a YT vid and some white witches say they have no formula or a spell recipe and they do something different for each one they cast.

Then there is the rule of threes. They say that any negative spell cast on anyone will bring that negative energy back to you three times over. I asked myself, could this really be true? Or is it something they say, just as a deterrent? I have no idea, but I’ve decided it’s not worth taking a chance on.

When the candle holders I ordered arrive, I’m going to do spells for good health, better sleep, more money, more peace…that sort of thing. I have no idea if they’ll work, but I’m always open to trying new things.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2022
I was all set to write, and then I realized that I really don’t have much to say. Tomorrow I go for the stomach ultrasound and hope for the best. I realize that just because they may not see anything doesn’t mean there still isn’t a problem. Having the runs multiple times a day for a month is not normal.

Tom brought up a good point when he said that maybe the upper right cramps I’ve been having on and off for years aren’t connected to the lower stomach pain that comes before I get sick which could mean I have two problems. I get the feeling they are connected, but it’s very possible that they’re not. I think the problem is going to come down to IBS, gallbladder issues, or worse, some kind of new autoimmune disease. Whatever isn’t a quick fix and that instead requires medication I can’t handle the side effects of will be the case with my shit luck. I don’t expect to learn anything tomorrow, though. I’m sure the technician will need to pass the results on to my doctors, and then they’ll contact me the next day.

I just hope this doesn’t amount to too many more appointments, money, and pain! It’s just that California taught me that one appointment tends to spawn more. Whatever it takes, though, to hopefully fix this problem or at least make it so I can have my life back again. It’s great to feel good emotionally, but I’m grounded at home. I can’t really go anywhere or do anything if my stomach’s going to explode at random, although it’s not totally random. No, it likes to pick on me around bedtime. That’s part of why I’m exhausted. I was up 18 or more hours the last couple of days. Tomorrow, I have to worry about the garbage truck waking me up, just like old times. At least not eating 8 hours prior to the appointment will be easy because I won’t be getting up until shortly before the appointment.

Got a hard rain earlier, although briefly. I also heard a few rounds of thunder.

Going to spend the night diamond painting and working out gently in Iceland. Then I’ll play some golf and do my meditation. Plus I’ll watch a Lifetime movie and pretty much veg out.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2022
I’m 59% through the challenge. I went through New Hampshire, Montreal, Israel, and now I’m in Austria. So far, Israel was the only ugly ride. It was even more barren than Maricopa with nothing but dirt. I did a different area of Israel several months ago that wasn’t pretty but it was nicer.

I was surprised to see our Maricopa house listed as being 2280 square feet. I thought it was 2100 square feet. This place was on 10 acres. The Phoenix place was 1471 on a 7000+ square foot lot. The California place was 1550, and this one isn’t even 1000. We’ve really downsized!

Screw the idea of posting in batches because that actually makes more work for me and more confusion trying to decide what parts of my journal I want to share on what sites. Much easier to go around to all the sites to correct any typos I may find later on, after all.

Grabbed a few more Black Friday deals. One of them is a complete witchcraft kit for beginners. LOL. I know it sounds funny, but I figure that if I didn’t ask for and didn’t try to develop my intuition to the point of having dream premonitions, vibes/feelings when awake, plus the ability to influence things at times, depending on my mood, how good might I get at this kind of thing if I actually try to develop it.

I also grabbed a couple more nightgowns. One has cherries on a pale pink background, and another has white clouds against a pale blue sky.

Then I got a new mouse. This one is also wireless but chargeable. What’s cool about it is that it has color-changing LED trim around the edges. He got one in black, and I got one in light pink. I’m going to use it with my laptop. If I like it, I’ll get the mint green one for my desktop.

My stomach is better today, but that’s only because of the Imodium pills I took. I’m still trying to guess what it could be… IBS, Crohn’s, ulcerative colitis, gallbladder, or something else.

I thought it could only be the gallbladder unless I was in excruciating pain. But according to Tom, that’s not true. They accidentally discovered gallstones and his mother when they were looking for something else. I remember my mother howling from kidney stone pain, but I shouldn’t get that. I don’t drink too little water. I don’t exercise too little or too much. I’m fat but never had weight loss surgery. I don’t like salt, and I don’t eat that much sugar.

I’m sure it will be whatever is the toughest to treat since I never seem to get off easy in life. I’m a little worried about being misdiagnosed or them not being able to figure it out at all. When I think of Crohn’s, I remember Aly. They told her that’s what she had until it turned out to be a mass on her ovary. She had different symptoms, though.

The only things I can be sure that I don’t have are cancer or COVID. I would definitely have other symptoms along with what I’ve got.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2022
Feeling a little warm today, and my heart is in the upper 90s. Really hope I’m not in for another bad spell where I’m burning up and my heart ends up in the triple digits! This is around the time I predicted I would have trouble if I was going to, too.

My stomach still isn’t better, but it hit me that it could be connected to the kickass fluoride toothpaste I got from my dentist. I told my docs I started it in June and asked if it could build up in my system and be causing this, and they said it could. So tonight will be the third night that I skip it. If there’s a connection, maybe it just takes a little time to get out of my system.

Doing a little Black Friday shopping. So far, I got wireless earbuds, a 10-pack of G-strings, and potato peelers.

He got a 4-pack of 12x12 diamond paintings in a beach theme. These are going to count as my birthday present for him to be done by June. Of course I can finish well before then, though.

Besides some computer parts, he also got a cadence sensor with bike pedals. This should work with VZ, and I want to try it once and see what it’s like to bike ride through places although I’m sure I’ll always prefer the board.

Loving VZ’s latest challenge. It’s the best one they’ve had along with the tree-planting challenge. They have about 20 quick, snappy rides all over the world that are only about 5 miles each. Besides the US, I’ve been in Canada, England, Italy, South Africa, Norway, Portugal, and Indonesia.

I don’t know if I was dreaming or not, but I swear a loud thump from someone’s car door woke me up for a second early this morning. They’re really bad with that here, even with a layer of MLV under the mattress. First, you’ve got flimsy homes that let sound in easily, and then you’ve got homes that are so close together. I’m just glad to be getting a break from the planes today. They don’t happen very often.

I had a dream that the cactus plants began to sprout, so we’ll see.

I also had a really cool dream that I wish to hell I could remember where I saw the events through someone else’s eyes.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2022
Woke up from a nightmare and into a wet morning. Tom is still in bed. According to the message he left me, he woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t get back to sleep. So after being up for a few hours, he told me not to worry if he gets up late.

I had a dream that my parents were still alive and I just turned 42. Then Tom and I were staying in some cheap motel in a horrible section of whatever city or town we were in. Out to the car, and I told him I would be along in a minute. I was looking for the right glasses. When I found them, I put them on and headed out. As I rounded the corner of the building, I saw a cluster of homeless people, and one of them was getting attacked by a dog. The dog turned and looked at me, and I thought, Oh no! I’m next!

But the dog didn’t attack, and I quickly hurried back around the corner. I woke up right as I was texting Tom to come and get me.

I deactivated two of my three Twitter accounts. I’m just not that into Twitter and Musk killed any possibility of Twitter Notes coming to fruition.

I was excited to receive my nail stamping sampler kit but what a joke. I couldn’t get the polish to transfer so I dumped the kit and kept the polish.

Surprisingly, it looks like the self-cleaning oven worked after all. It’s not perfect, but it’s definitely cleaner.

The cactus I planted should germinate any day now, but I have a feeling it won’t. I just seem to have quite a black thumb. Only one leaf is left alive on the petra, and only the fittonia is thriving.

I was awake when the insanely loud recycle truck went by. I threw the nature sounds on volume 4 and could still hear it. Just like in the old place, I don’t think I’m going to be able to drown them out completely. It’s just way too fucking loud. I can hear them long before they get near the house.

The planes are driving me crazy and forcing me to keep background sounds of some kind going in order to drown them out. Sleeping with background sounds and having fans running when I need them is one thing. But sometimes I just don’t want to hear anything. Sometimes I just want to enjoy the quiet but I can’t unless I want to hear the planes, and I don’t. I’d now say that, yes, they’re worse than at the old place. Small planes might be slightly better here and helicopters slightly more but the commercials are horrible as they’re way too frequent and I rarely get a break. They may not fly quite as low here, but they’re low enough, audible enough, and just totally annoying as hell. Dozens and dozens every single fucking day and night. The problem is that like in our Maricopa place, we would have to go somewhere over an hour away from an airport in order to have them flying above us high enough not to hear them. What I don’t understand is why I didn’t hear them like crazy in Phoenix. Yes, there were way fewer planes flying back then, but still. It wasn’t that we didn’t hear them at all, but we didn’t hear dozens a day. You can’t even go 15 minutes without hearing something flying over us here. The only thing I remember being annoying in the sky there were the helicopters. I can just imagine what it’s like there now!

I had my first normal bowel movement in nearly a month, only to end up with three attacks of the runs following it over the next handful of hours. I realize this would be a complete nightmare for me if it hadn’t been for the trauma and anxiety I experienced. This is nothing compared to that, but it would still be nice if it stopped because I’m not going to be able to do things or go places if it doesn’t.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2022
No more mass publications! Every time I post journal entries to multiple sites, I later find typos, grammatical errors, or remember things I forgot to add and have to go around to all the entries to make corrections. Therefore, I’m going to update one blog, and then every few days or so, I’ll copy and share elsewhere.

One of the things I forgot to say is that a couple of days ago, they did remove my comment on the obit. I hope the termite notices and will be anything but pleased, LOL. I thought of slowly, one by one, requesting the seven remaining comments to be removed but then said nah. Too risky. Even if nothing could be proven, I don’t want the pigs showing up at our door, suspicious.

Jim accepted my friend request and said they have 30 days to sell their house or they’ll lose the one they want and will stay here. He said he felt like he was back in New York yesterday. Yeah, and I kind of felt like I was in NorCal! It’s just a shame that while Jesse’s mutts spoiled the peace of Auburn, the planes are spoiling an otherwise quiet place here. I’ll still take the planes over the mutts, though.

I think it’s pretty pathetic that it takes hours to get through to a doctor’s office these days. It’s all about them being cheap and cutting back on help. Money always means more to them than the patients. I requested an appointment online and hopefully they’ll call back and preferably not while I’m on the toilet. I ended up getting sick twice yesterday and read that IBS can cause insomnia as well as for a person to wake up a lot. I had upper right stomach cramps when I got up but that one went away for the most part, once I got up and moving. Damn, is my stomach one noisy place, though! Always gurgling and growling.

Unlike other GI issues, IBS doesn’t cause weight loss. Leave it to me to get one that doesn’t cause that but then again, I don’t want to lose weight and temp my medication into being a problem again. I don’t know for sure if it is IBS, but I’d say it’s very likely. I don’t think I’ll need my gallbladder removed. I always knew that if I ever beat the anxiety, it would be replaced with a new problem. But have I really beaten it? It’s still hard to believe I have because every time I thought I did, I didn’t. So I would say, no, I haven’t beaten it. Then why do I already have a new problem? Even if I have beaten it, it’s barely been a month.

Last night’s nightmare was discovering a HUGE tarantula in a house I didn’t recognize and bursting into the bedroom where he was sound asleep and snoring like a ship horn. I kept shouting, tapping and shaking him and tugging on his arm but he just wouldn’t wake up and kept snoring away.

I’m tired today because I was up for so long and had to get up in the middle of my sleep to pee. At least I’m not crying over my lost house (or trying not to). I still don’t know what it is with that house. So many bittersweet memories yet I’m still obsessed with the place. Don’t miss it for many reasons, but then I do. It’s weird. I cried for the loss of the place yet I know it would be horrible for us to be back there. Besides, and as I said before, it wouldn’t be the same anymore. If they can do what they’ve done to the outside of the place, I can imagine the hellhole inside of it. Yet I want to sit and watch the beautiful sunrise from the living room window and distant lights twinkling at night while Little Buddy, Blondie, and Tinkerbell run around, even though Tinkerbell never lived there.

Moving was the right thing to do. Even if we had the money to keep going, it was safer for us to move. If we hadn’t, I wouldn’t have gotten to experience living in different places and we never would have had the two wonderful years we had with Tinkerbell.

I just checked and found that it sold in 2011. They really trashed the place. The skirting was all fucked up outside and the walls were fucked up inside. Tons of shit strewn about spoiling the natural beauty outside. Still had the original carpet, though.

The perfect ending to my honker story, which I’ve decided to title You’re Not Welcome Here, came to mind. In Florida, the curse is on them. Once they get back to Canada, I’ll have everything go just fine for a while. But then he becomes cursed. He’ll be fucking his wife nonstop who will get sore and fed up. Then she finally talks him into making an appointment to get help for the mysterious and outrageous appetite he acquired all of a sudden.

So he puts a full tank of gas in the truck and off they go. Soon Kari realizes they passed the doctor’s office, but when she mentions it to him, he just gives her a maniacal grin and drives on. Kari can’t escape because the door is locked and she can’t get it open. They drive until they run out of gas. The story will end with him fucking her nonstop. I’m just going to spell their names as Darren and Carrie because that’s what speech-to-text likes best.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2022
Just when I thought I was getting better, since I only had the runs once yesterday and once the day before that really wasn’t quite the runs, my stomach explodes on me big time. ☹ I really hope this is fixable but I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if it was IBS just because it would be my shit luck to have something I couldn’t fix. This is really going to make my life harder as if the sleep curse doesn’t already make it hard enough. Now I have to worry about going out and things like that. How the hell do I know my stomach isn’t gonna explode on me when I go out for my stomach ultrasound? I’m calling the office I was referred to tomorrow to make an appointment.

So the gay guys are moving to Brooksville. I’d really love to know what it’s like living there after they get settled. I’m mostly interested in how much barking and plane activity there might be out there.

Even after all these years, I still cry when I look at our old, lost house in Arizona. It’s just sad to have the dreams and goals we had and the way we looked so forward to picking out and setting up our big, brand-new house just to have everything go to hell on us. Almost everything went wrong. Even when you get the freeloaders out of the picture, so much was wrong with the place and the area but I loved having so much space around us.

There is now a house in front of ours which would spoil the view of the natural landscape from what was my office window. But there’s still no one to the right of the house. I’m surprised that area hasn’t built up more, although the center of town has really built up a lot. Tons of new houses and businesses there now. That part is barely recognizable. But once you get past the casino on the reserve heading toward our place, it’s pretty much like it used to be.

I don’t know why I get so emotional when I think about that place. Maybe because we were forced out of there and didn’t go on our own accord, even though we were ready to go at the same time. All we did was struggle financially, and the place often stunk of cow shit with all the farms.

I had to remind myself when I felt the tears sting my eyes, that that house isn’t that house anymore, even if we were suddenly back there. They totally trashed the place from what I can see. The house is now 23 years old and just wouldn’t be the same. If we were suddenly back there with everything paid for, nothing would be the same. We wouldn’t feel safe there, and talk about being too far from the beach! There just wouldn’t be anything to do there and as much as I hate the cold, I wouldn’t want to go back to living in a furnace either with temperatures in the 120s. That place was a total killer on the electric bill!

I checked the plane site and the few commercial planes going over the area were too high up to be heard. I’m sure they still get sonic booms there, something I definitely don’t miss. Oh, I remember when those bastards would wake me up along with the monsoon storms. I hated listening to the hunters too.

So no, I wouldn’t want to be back there as much as I miss some aspects of it. Besides sad memories of broken dreams, there were too many rattlesnakes and those thorny weeds would get everywhere. I’m not sure if they were goat heads or what. Then you had the Mexican drug cartel moving into the area, and most of the places were scummy and trashed. Our place was probably taken over by a pack of illegals. Nothing else was built on the rest of our property that Huey split up. I didn’t see anything more built up in back or on the left side either. There are a few houses across from the people that were to the left of us. I’m surprised the old shack is still on the corner of their property.

I did see an array of small planes and I’m sure those and helicopters are overabundant there by now right along with motorcycles. There were hardly any motorcycles when we were there, but I passed a handful on the main road leading into the town.

Last night I had a nightmare. We were living behind my grandparents’ old place, but not directly behind it. It was in a spot where no house exists in reality. I knew my grandparents, who were alive and well, were out at the moment. I spotted movement at the side of their place and then realized it was a guy with a raised bat approaching the place as if to break in.

It’s raining lightly now and of course the planes are as annoying as usual. Can’t even go a half hour without hearing something flying unless it’s in the middle of the night and even that’s hit or miss.

The honker just honked in. Yeah, 145 days left with you, buddy. I’m counting down.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2022
My stomach was better yesterday in that I only had one bout of the runs. But that upper right tummy pain was annoying as hell.

Then I started to have a feeling they weren’t going to find anything wrong in my poo tests, which would be great, but also not so great as that puts me back to square one, trying to solve the mystery of whatever the fuck this could be. Sure enough, they all came back negative.

I did a lot of research into the possibilities and I’d say cancer, Crohn’s, and Celiac seem unlikely because those cause weight loss. Besides, I’m going to be 57 in a couple of weeks. No, I won’t complain to Tom when Jessie forgets my birthday because he’ll only defend her or come up with some excuse for her not remembering. Sometimes I just need someone on my side but I’ve never gotten that with him and I never will. I don’t know what it is with him, but if I complain about someone, he goes into automatic defense mode on their behalf. I never understood it, I still don’t understand it, and I likely never will.

Anyway, it’s a little hard to believe the last two could start this late in life. I think I’m looking at possible gallbladder issues, or worse, IBS. Having my gallbladder removed would be expensive, but it would be a quick fix. If it’s IBS I’m screwed because there’s no cure or treatment for that, as far as I can tell. But would IBS also turn itself on this late in life? I guess I’m going to find out soon enough. It doesn’t make sense that I would all of a sudden have the runs every day for nearly three weeks, any more than it ever made sense for me to suddenly become anxious as hell. Therefore, my doctor is going to send me for a stomach ultrasound and have me do a Cologuard test. This isn’t the kind of test that I did in Citrus Heights that looks for blood. This looks for cancer. It will be gross, but not nearly as gross as the last tests I did because all I have to do is shit in the container, add a chemical to it, and then seal it up.

It’s chilly here now, but I just have to deal with it because this is how it’s going to be till March or April, especially late at night and early in the morning. It’s still not as bad as NorCal, though.

I figured early yesterday morning was a great time to clean the oven because it would warm up the house. So I got the self-cleaning oven started, but then it started getting a little too warm in here and I didn’t want to have to run the AC later, so I stopped it. It doesn’t work well anyway. The only self-cleaning oven we ever had that actually worked was the one in Maricopa.

Speaking of Maricopa, I’m riding through there now in VZ. I definitely miss some parts of our lives there and in Oregon. The M is still there too. Driving by one of the mountain ranges in town, there was a white M painted on the mountainside and it’s still there. However, I don’t know if I can ride right up to our old place because I don’t think they have Google Street views there yet. I’m only about halfway through the trip, so it’ll be a while before I find out.

Now my petra plant is dying. Ugh, I really screwed up these plants! I shouldn’t have given them food so soon after planting them in soil that is already fertilized. I also think some of them couldn’t handle being transplanted. I’m going to try to save what’s left of the plant and move it into the kitchen under the plant light. The only one that’s still thriving is the fittonia. And of course, my bamboo. The fern died, the ivy died, and so did the money tree. We ordered a new and bigger money tree in a self-watering ceramic pot. You fill the reservoir every month. The color of the pot is listed as turquoise, but it looked like a soft minty green to me. The pink looked more like peach and the rose looked like coral, so that’s why I went with this one.

I’m also getting a nail-stamp sample kit for just the cost of shipping and handling which was $8.

I reminded him that if we ever are in a position to move, to remember that yes needs to mean yes if we were ever in a position not to live in a highrise or on the beach but to get land instead. If that’s not what he wants he needs to speak up and be honest! Don’t say yes if yes really means no. I get it though; the desire to please your loved one and not wanting to disappoint them. It would be hard for me to say no if he suddenly wanted a cow, even though I have absolutely no desire to own one. But it’s still important to be honest with each other because when we’re not, we’re lying to the other person and not being true to ourselves.

Realizing it had been a month since I left the comment on Mark’s obituary and that it should have been seen by now, I requested to have it removed. If the termite wants to keep it as “evidence” it will really piss her off to see it disappear. I wonder if they’ll notify her that “Bud” requested to remove the comment.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2022
17 days of having the runs now. This would be so much harder if it wasn’t for the bidet though it’s bad enough. I think I either have an infection or my gallbladder is causing this because I have upper right stomach pain as well. Really hope I don’t have to have it removed! It’s easy surgery but it’s still more appointments and more money.

I still don’t have the results back yet from the lab, but I’m hoping to get them today. They must be good specimens, otherwise I would think I would have been notified by now that they weren’t usable.

Whatever it is, Tom may have it too, because he had the runs yesterday. If he does have what I have, then that rules out my gallbladder.

We bought the latest golf course which is based on that old 90s game Myst. It’s different than their usual game.

Turns out the black and white trailer belonged to the house next to Sue, two houses away from the honker. They loaded it up the next day and then it disappeared.

Linda had rocks delivered.

The best news is that the motorcycle appears to be broken, which would explain him turning it on so many times the other day. He got his trailer yesterday, loaded it onto it, and drove it off presumably to be fixed. I wonder if the influencer jinxed it. LOL. I’ll just enjoy the break from it as long as I can because I’m sure it’s gonna be back any second. I just hope he hasn’t traded it in for something louder that he plans to get soon. I will be so fucking pissed. Hearing it twice a week is annoying enough. I was worried he would start riding it more too, even though Tom pointed out that people get less active with age and not more. Maybe talking to him about it was a mistake because now he may think hey, she can mask it easily enough when she’s sleeping so why not ride it more? No one else seems to mind anyway.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 16, 2022
Ugh, 8 billion people in the world now. I suppose it will be 10 billion or higher by the time I die. They talk about it declining after a while, but that just doesn’t seem possible. Even if the fertility rates keep dropping, we’re living longer and longer.

I thought I would do some writing and enjoy the break from the planes until they start up again shortly after 5. I got up at 10 and heard five or six just in the 45 minutes I waited till I had my coffee. Totally annoying, and I just can’t get used to it.

I got a lovely perfume sample and the cactus seeds have been planted! I was curious to see how easily (or not) I could pull the dead plants up. The fern slipped right out and the base of the dirt was shaped like the pot it came in. So I filled in the rest with regular soil and scattered cactus seeds at different levels. The thing said to “scatter to the surface” and I wasn’t sure if that meant literally on the surface or just beneath so I did both. If all goes well, it will germinate in 7 to 12 days. It said to keep it lightly misted and after that, it can survive with little to no water. I love these self-watering pots because then they can help themselves to what they want, instead of me and my shitty guesswork.

At first I thought it was paint scrapes but then I realized there were spots of mildew on the shower trim, so I hit it with that horrible, stinky bleach I hate with a passion that blueberry incense doesn’t even seem to cover. It faded but the surface was wet after I hit it with a Clorox wipe, so I may have to spray it again when it’s dry. I noticed that bleach penetrates better on a dry surface. Meanwhile, I was surprised by how well it killed that orange shit. Would be great if it worked on the human type of orange shit that may very well end up prez again.

Bad/good TSH results. I’m up to 6.93, which explains why I’ve been feeling calmer yet have more fatigue. But the good is that this is the lowest I’ve gone without feeling anxious. We’re a bit surprised. He thought I would be a 4 and I thought I would be a 5.

My only concern right now, besides not being able to figure out what’s causing my GI issues, is the anxiety returning as it ramps back up fully in my system. It was on the 21st of last month that I scaled back my dose. I know I cut the waiting time to under 30 minutes a handful of times to speed up the process of draining it from my system so I could feel better faster. Well, again it’s going to build back up in my system. So how am I going to feel between 6 to 8 weeks of waiting 30 or more minutes consistently? Hopefully only less tired, but it seems my only choices are fatigue or anxiety. I would definitely take the fatigue, but I don’t know anymore if my fatigue is connected to my thyroid for a couple of reasons. I had fatigue when my TSH was a 2. Also, when I was first diagnosed at 32, I didn’t have any fatigue at all. Now I’m thinking that may be more age-related, if not something else. Even my type of sleep disorder can cause that and just things like waking up to pee.

If I’m going to have problems again, it could start around the 23rd. But if I can make it to December 7th without any anxiety, I’m golden. Seems too good to be true for one who doesn’t get off very easily or get many breaks in life. The question is if the anxiety does come back, will it go away if I can get myself to tough it out? I don’t know if I could stand it long enough, especially without knowing for sure when and if it would back off.

It seems I’m just not meant to be normal without being anxious and I choose fatigue over anxiety, as I said. My TSH is low enough that I’m not struggling to keep from gaining weight. I just couldn’t lose, but truthfully, I wouldn’t have the guts to even if it was easy because I’m afraid of any significant changes that could give this finicky drug a reason to beat up on me again. Unlike most people, I’m just very sensitive to levothyroxine. For me, it has a very fine line between helpful and hurtful. But 6 is better than the 14 I was earlier in the year and this way I’m not dealing with a racy heart, anxiety, feeling like I’m on fire, and those dark thoughts I hate with a passion. The doctor is okay with me sticking to this dose but wants me to go to the lab in three to six months, which is fine.

Just when I thought I was finally better, I had horrible cramps and the runs yesterday at the end of my day. Why does this have to happen at the end of my day so often?! I’m wondering if the anti-diarrhea pills delayed it and that’s why I thought I was getting better.

I dropped the stool sample off at the lab yesterday morning and they must be usable because it says my results are pending. I would think they would have notified me by now if the sample was no good. I’m guessing they’ll come in at about 9:30. That seems to be when my last two thyroid results were posted. I’m going to be frustrated if they don’t find anything and give me treatment for it. If it isn’t an infection or parasite, then what the hell could it be? Pretty sure it can’t be cancer or anything dangerous but I would really like to know what it is and how to deal with it. This is ridiculous. I’ve never had this problem before. I had to take ibuprofen for the upper right stomach cramp-like pain as well so I wonder if there’s a connection. Like maybe gallbladder issues. What sucks is that if they don’t find anything that means more testing for me that could be a lot more unpleasant than having to gather shit to throw into containers.

Kim apologized for being so repetitious but I expected little change. And there hasn’t been since she asked me again for my address, so she could send me a birthday card. I think she misses swapping care packages, cards and letters with Aly and wants to take that up with me. Not going to happen. I realize Aly had no problem with giving her address out, but I would prefer to keep my address out of the hands of Crazy. While it’s sweet of her to offer to send me a birthday card, I simply have no desire for postal mail in a digital age. It’s so much easier to keep in touch online. Like I tried to tell the termite, it was totally unnecessary to call each other. If you didn’t want to write or use speech-to-text, she could have done audios on Facebook.

I’m so, so glad to have her and her crazy brood out of my life! I have been so much happier without them and their toxic anger and constant drama in my life. The lies, the exaggerations, the whole damn thing was just pure and utter bullshit.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2022
I guess I better get caught up here before I get too far behind. The fatigue is back and driving me nuts. It’s so frustrating because it’s getting in the way of living. At almost 57 years of age, it shouldn’t be a struggle to find the energy to clean, work out, or do whatever. Yet just cleaning one bathroom wiped me out completely. I had to lie down and I thought I might fall asleep. I came close but didn’t so I got back up and I’m determined to live my life until I go out in the morning to drop off my second stool sample.

It’s totally disgusting, but I had to do it a second time because I fucked up the first time by not putting in enough poo. My stomach is still fucked up even though it’s been two weeks. It’s just not quite as bad as it was a week ago. At this point, I don’t know that they’ll find any kind of parasite present.

When we went to the lab yesterday, it was surprisingly crowded in no time at all. We started off with just one phlebotomist and something like 23 scheduled appointments and walk-ins. When we left, there were 3 available phlebotomists and many more people. We didn’t think it would get California kind of crowded in such a small town. One of the first appointments was for a little kid we could hear wailing from the waiting room. And of course, that held things up a bit.

I was actually supposed to drop off the sample yesterday and have blood drawn today. But since I was there anyway, she drew blood and said to keep my appointment for when I make the second drop-off. Then she gave me another kit and I decided this was it. If there’s any problem testing these samples, I’m not doing it a third time. If it is a parasite, it should work itself out. If it’s IBS, there really isn’t much I can do about it. This is according to the research I’ve done.

I don’t get these people here. I really don’t. They’re freaking out about the eyesore across from the entrance and urging people to call the county code enforcers to make them clean it up. But they’re perfectly OK with thunderously loud motorcycles. I agree that it is a horrible mess over there, but it’s not like any of us can see it from our houses. What matters more is that people stop mainstreaming retirement communities by allowing such loud sounds in them. Tom said it didn’t annoy him, but the prick across the street turned the motorcycle on and off 5 or 6 times for a few seconds, obviously working on it. That’s great that it didn’t wake me up, but I would have been annoyed as hell if I’d had to listen to it while awake. That’s 3 times in barely over 2 weeks now and I still have 5 more months with him. At least. Maybe he won’t go back until May. When you’re retired there’s no hurry.

Another weird thing is the trailer parked in Irma’s driveway. My first thought was that it was connected to Linda, but Tom said Sue was parked in Irma’s driveway for a while. So now I’m thinking it’s connected to her somehow. I really hope she’s not getting ready to move! The last thing I want is a dogless and motorcycleless person close to home moving and allowing someone to move in who does have a motorcycle or a dog.

I’d love to think that the honker was fixing up the motorcycle to load into that trailer tomorrow to sell it somewhere but I know better. People like that don’t just stop riding. If he did get rid of it, he would only replace it. Besides, that’s not his trailer. His is all black. This one is black and white.

Heard the one behind him too, even though that one isn’t as loud. They still don’t belong here!

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2022
Just when I was thinking how amazing it’s been not to hear that fucking mutt barking for a month, I hear 3 barking fits in less than an hour. So typical too. When you complain to a person or those with leverage reprimand them, it’s only a temporary fix. After a while people figure, what the hell?

Luckily for us, it turns out that the damage to the lanai roof isn’t that big of a deal. It’s still old and needs to be replaced at some point but nothing that’s gonna cost a fortune.

They paved what appears to be a parking lot where the old sewage treatment plant was. So I guess they haven’t put in the new pool yet. I wouldn’t put it past them to make a deal with Bayonet to buy the land in back and build there too. Sooner or later, someone’s going to use it for something and I really hope we’re not here when that happens. I also hope I’m awake when they replace the fence in back which I’m surprised they haven’t done yet. They haven’t announced any actual plans to do this, but given the damage in some spots done by Nicole, I would think it was getting close to happening.

I might have to remove my gel nails because I’m getting some lifting in back that’s snagging my hair.

I was so fucking frustrated with my sleep issues because it was preventing me from getting the test kit sooner so I could begin treating the problem sooner. I finally got it early yesterday morning. We got there when they first opened. A guy was telling this lady that he was 57 and had more doctors than friends. Technically, so do I. I would think this medical group has hundreds if not thousands of doctors.

The cool thing is that I might have jinxed it into getting better by picking the kit up! Today is the first day I haven’t had any cramps and I haven’t gone yet either. I did read that eventually, parasite infections do work themselves out. I also read that things like cucumbers, pumpkin seeds, and apple cider vinegar kills them so I started the shots again. Still going to follow through and get a shit sample tomorrow that I can drop off Monday.

The motorcycle never went out today. Just the one that lives behind him. I would be really surprised if it didn’t go out tomorrow, though, because the last time it went out was on a Sunday and the weather should be ideal for it.

I got a purple leopard patterned nightgown by the same company but a different cut since I was short one nightgown for the week. It fits so much better and the material is so much nicer. I wish I’d gotten these all along when I replaced my nightgowns. The other ones are okay but don’t have as good coverage around the chest and the material tends to invite static more.

I also got a partial diamond drill painting of a woman in a fancy gown. This one is longer. It’s 12x24. He got 2-sided tape to put up my abstract painting. So I’m going to see if I can use it for this as well.

I had this dream I was living or staying in this large building and I knew Alyssa was staying there as well. I went down to her place in the basement when I knew she wasn’t there at the time. At the side of a long and wide corridor were steps leading down to the basement. Two small rooms branched off of either side, both belonging to her.

The door to the right was open and I could see a small lamp on in the room. However, I was afraid to step inside because I started to become paranoid that there was a camera somewhere. The other room was dark but I could just make out a few odd objects on the floor like a piece of paper and a piece of clothing. I decided it would be best to get out of there before she got back or someone else caught me, determined to deny it was me if I was caught on camera and accused.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 11, 2022
First we had FedEx flying over us at 3:00 AM and now at 1:10 AM it’s UPS that’s apparently been added to the flight route. I’m enjoying the few precious hours off from hearing them zooming over us. What was a little worrisome was that I could hear it loud and clear even when it was over 24,000 feet and well over the Gulf. I’m guessing it might not have been as easy to hear if it was the middle of the day, but still. Enough is enough of this shit! Yet I realized there’s no in-between these days due to all the millions of flights. You’re either in a flight path like most of the world now is or you’re not, and it’s a pretty black-and-white situation in that if you are in a flight path, you’re not going to hear just a few a day. Those days are long gone. It’s either dozens and dozens or nothing at all. There are just so many people flying, plus delivery flights that there’s no way they’re going to have just a few flights over any given area. At least not that I can see.

Even though Hurricane Ian was much more powerful than Nicole, which was downgraded to a tropical storm by the time she got to us, she managed to do some damage to our place, tearing part of the lanai roof off. I saw pictures in the group of the damage some others received. The most common problem seems to be torn gutters and carport support posts.

The wind is dying down, but it’s still raining out there.

My doctor is sending me to pick up a container to provide a stool sample for testing since I’m still having the runs. I contacted them last night. I wanted to make sure it was OK to take the anti-diarrhea pills once I came to suspect I probably have an infection.

Then I slept shitty because, not surprisingly, we had a power failure. So I’ve been tired all day even though I napped.

When I got up I had the runs again and took a full dose of anti-diarrhea pills. I don’t know if I’ll be awake enough to pick up the container this morning when the lab opens, but if I’m not, I’ll get it soon enough.

I wrote the following letter to PK only to find there’s no place to send it. Then why do they have a “Contact this Lawyer” form if they’re just going to tell me they’re not registered with that site?

I don’t know if there’s a more convenient or appropriate place to send this but do you still tell clients that all they’re going to get is probation when you know darn well they’re going to be jailed? Do you still withhold information that could genuinely help them?

I was naive to the law. You knew it and you took advantage of that and you should be ashamed of yourself. Even after all these years, I can just imagine how many people you’ve treated similarly. I should have known better too. After all, you worked for the state and the state was against me.

You don’t make the laws and I get that. You also didn’t know that the “victim” was personal friends with the officer involved. I didn’t even realize this at first. Nonetheless, I can’t stress enough how ridiculous it is that someone could be thrown in jail for six minutes let alone six months, lose thousands of dollars, and be bashed by the media all for words on paper and because of nothing they actually did. What happened to free speech? What happened to actions speaking louder than words?

I realize the past can’t be undone and you don’t need to reply to me but you should have been more honest with me as it would have helped me to better prepare for what was to come. Meanwhile, the “victim” that did similar things to me and worse which I chose to be mature about and ignore, left me feeling afraid, vulnerable and like a sitting duck. Therefore, we left Arizona after I was finally vindicated 2.5 years too late. Haven’t been in the state in decades and I never will again.

Yeah, you were a great lawyer, Mr. K.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2022
While I still can’t believe the horses are going to generate that much money, he did bring up a point when he said that we never lived in just one place in any of the states we’ve lived in. We lived in two different houses in Arizona. We lived in the duplex and the house in Oregon. We lived in the trailer and the house in California. My gut feeling still says this isn’t it but I have no idea where we may go and when.

Oh, to be able to know when we’ll move, where to, how long we’ll live, what we’ll die from, and if there’s an afterlife of sorts. Everything else can be a surprise.

OMG, what the hell is wrong with this world and the people in it? Greg Abbott gets reelected even though he gutted women’s rights. Marjorie Taylor Greene gets reelected despite encouraging violence against gays/trans. I don’t get how people can vote for people like this, or how these sickoes can get away with carrying on the way they do. If we were to encourage violence against anyone, we would be arrested.

If someone really wanted to find out that I’m of Jewish descent despite me being as religious as a doorknob, or anyone else for that matter, they can do so. My maiden name is a dead giveaway. Therefore, I can’t guarantee my safety in a country that is doing all it can to become a Christian-only nation. A straight Christian nation that is. People can read my journal and see that I’ve been with the same sex, but no, I’m not running. I’m not pulling my stuff offline and I’m not hiding.

I had a dream that Tom and I were staying in a hotel. I told Jessie where we were going and hoped she’d meet us there even though I didn’t really expect to. Tom and I were in the room chatting with the door open when I heard her call my name. Excitedly, I ran toward her and we hugged, happy to finally see each other after so many decades.

Next, I had one of those dreams that made me wonder if it was a glimpse into another dimension. Another me in another existence. More scientists seem to believe in this theory too. I was still married to Tom but we seemed to have a daughter and a son. They were between 8 and 10 years old. I tried to get into the whole motherhood thing but I just couldn’t get into it. I wasn’t abusive, of course, but I felt like I really had to push myself to be involved when all I wanted to do was be off doing my own thing instead.

Then last night I had a dream I was so excited to rent this two-story house. I don’t know why because it was so dumpy. The countertops in the kitchen were that old Formica shit with metal edging strips.

I managed to sleep through the recycling truck after all. I had nature sounds on volume 4, plus the portable sound machine going. It was kind of uncomfortably loud that I started to add an ear plug, but then I said nope. I’m not going back to this shit. At least I can still play nature sounds on a comfortable volume 3 without adding the portable when I sleep at night.

Nicole is going to hit Florida as a Cat 1 but by the time it gets here, it will be a tropical storm. Probably won’t have winds much over 25-30 MPH. I’m not bothering to take down the wind chimes. Even if we were to get evacuated, which I don’t see, I’m not going anywhere. We don’t have an endless supply of money, and there’s no way in hell we would stay in a school or anything like that crammed in with tons of strangers.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2022
Still having the runs and starting to think I might have some kind of bacterial infection after all. It seems a bit extreme for just something bad I ate or a simple stomach bug. I never had the runs like this before. Having the runs multiple times a day for 8 days is a bit extreme. I still don’t have any other symptoms, though, even though Jessie said she’s surprised they didn’t have me get checked out. She asked if I could have covid yet our research says no and the docs never mentioned it either. Covid would come with a lot of other nasty symptoms. Worst case scenario, I may need antibiotics to stop this. I took a dose of anti-run pills but then ended up having the runs again, even though it should have stopped it right then and there as it has in the past, and as Jessie said it does with her. We were both stuck for a week afterward too. Hopefully, this will be it, although I have my doubts. My temp was 98.7, which is a degree higher than my usual.

Jessie is under mandatory evacuation right now due to Nicole but we’re still expecting just some wind and rain. It was windy and cloudy today and the honker was out when I got up at around 10:00 AM. It returned 6 hours later and took its flags down.

Ron randomly popped into mind earlier, the joke of a guy I dated for a handful of months in 1986 when I was a settler who didn’t know how to say no. Ah, Little Miss Too Nice and Too Forgiving.

Ron was short, plump, had a tiny dick, and was already showing signs of premature balding at 28. He, his family, and his neighbors were pretty fucked up but I was too naïve to see it. His father was captain of the police department in a neighboring town at the time. Ron admitted to me up front that he had a problem with cocaine in the past. He said his dad said he would have busted him himself. He never used when we were together, but I just couldn’t get into him, though I tried.

One time, I went over to his parents’ house to go swimming in their pool. On the street, I heard someone say someone was going to get killed someday or something like that. I looked across the street and saw one of the neighbors literally stomping on a family member’s head with his foot in the middle of the street. But despite the pounding the guy took, he got up as if nothing happened.

His mother would call in the middle of the night drunk out of her mind, and although I don’t remember why, I didn’t care for his sister and I definitely didn’t care for his brother. At least I think it was his brother. I don’t remember what the hell I did to piss him off, but he threatened to have me raped. The most harm I’ve ever done was when I was a prankster so it was probably about prank calls I made to the house. But still, that’s a pretty drastic thing to threaten someone with which gives you an idea of just how messed up that family was. I’m glad I finally smartened up before Ron and I could have been dumb enough to tie the knot. I was never the least bit attracted to the guy and he wasn’t my type at all.

It’s still hard to believe I would have prank-called a house a cop lived in, especially after being dumb enough to do that to my old boss and her detective husband, so I’m thinking that maybe his parents were divorced. You’re talking 37 years ago, though, so my memory is shaky.

Whether he’s single or not, I picture Ron to be a fat, frumpy, bald, broke guy with a dumpy vehicle, and the fact that he once told me that I would one day look back and realize I once had someone who “loved” me is beyond laughable.

I finished my 94-mile trip in Northern Ireland, which was absolutely beautiful and very green. Since I created a trip from one Massachusetts house to the other, I thought why not do one from one Arizona house to the other, and then from the Oregon duplex to the Oregon house? I’m pretty tired today so I may not begin my 60-mile trip from Phoenix to Maricopa.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2022
I’m exchanging messages with my doc now as to why I’m still having the runs. Looking back in my journal and seeing that I started the B-Complex two weeks before I started having the runs makes me wonder if maybe I might have some kind of infection. I didn’t even have stomach cramps and the runs like this the last time I was high on thyroid (for my body) and I was very anxious then too. I haven’t had anxiety for almost a month now. I have no fever, but I don’t always get fevers when I get infections.

I woke up right before the loud garbage truck came and I’m still not sure I can mask that and the loud recycling truck. Oh, to have the quieter recycling and garbage truck come once a week on the same day, and also on the same day, the mower. Tomorrow’s sleep is hit or miss. It’s all gonna depend on whether or not they use the loud mower.

I’m not happy to see the motorcycle is still uncovered. He probably wants to take the damn thing out tomorrow because of Tropical Storm Nicole. We’ll probably just get some wind and rain on Wednesday and Thursday. If he does take that thing out tomorrow, that will be three times in one week. ☹

Someone just walked up to the honker’s place and then a red pickup pulled up behind them. I wasn’t looking at the camera when it took off to see if either of them left with them.

Since I have a habit of jinx-writing things into reality, I thought I would throw him in a story but mostly because it would be fun and give me something more to do.

I finally got ideas for my gaslighting story. I could plant a listening device and overhear Stacey killing her obsessive lover whom she doesn’t want anybody to know about. She does it by accident by hitting him harder than she intended. That’s what I’ll use to blackmail her or at least to troll her with. I’ll do things without giving my identity away and Stacey won’t be able to figure out who the hell knows what she did and how.

I came up with a hilarious honker story idea. First the little dog starts barking multiple times in the night, waking them up and leaving them exhausted. They take the mutt to the vet but they can’t find anything wrong. Eventually, when they’re all outside, the dog suddenly takes off running down the street and disappears forever. They ask people who are outside at the time if they saw the dog and they say no.

Then the big dog becomes a problem, doing the same thing by keeping them up at night barking. Even worse is when it attacks another dog and a person and they feel so horribly guilty about it. Even though they never expected the dog to do such a thing, people start to dislike them and they start to feel like outcasts. But then that dog also runs off and disappears forever.

Then the motorcycle starts up on its own one day when he happens to be in the carport, zooms off down the street, and that too is forever gone without any witnesses. Now they’re really starting to get worried and wonder what’s going to disappear next.

Before the motorcycle runs off, they go out for a ride and end up boxed in and trolled by a group of other motorcycles. On the way back, it’s a car that’s always within half an inch of the back wheel.

So then one day, the honker hops on his cart to visit a friend down the street. All of a sudden, the brakes fail and he appears to deliberately plow into someone. He is then arrested and his terrified wife is left to wonder what the hell is going on. When the honker is released, they find that everybody hates their guts and won’t talk to them. People literally run whenever they see them. Finally having enough and realizing this place is a curse for them, they sell out and head to Canada for good.

I couldn’t resist asking Sarah on the account she created in hopes of messaging me if she thought those who created accounts to stalk, harass, and threaten people should be held accountable for their actions. If she still has that email address and it isn’t marked as spam, she’ll get a notification. Of course I won’t respond to any responses. I’ll just block her at that point. Or maybe there won’t be a response. Again, they’re acting like they’re hoping I’ll go too far. No chance, though. Not unless I knew I was going to die tomorrow. This is a perfectly legit question to ask on Quora, and similar ones have been asked several times.

We ran out to the dollar store earlier. I have a feeling that my reduced sodium Vienna’s are going to get harder and harder to get. I did get a cute little journal with pink glitter on its cover, even though I’m not ready for the next one yet. Plus, I got a set of Tahiti perfume and lotion.

We had some ants in the lanai so he sprayed inside and out. We also set off a bomb there since it’s not like we have to go somewhere for four hours and then air it out. It was perfect timing because he wanted to shut the window anyway, especially if we’re going to get heavy winds and rain.

The fun part of the day was my painting kit and the abstract painting I did, which came out pretty cool looking. I put decorative tape strips in random places, did the painting, and then removed the tape. I want to do something a little more intricate for the second canvas. I’ll have to check out some YouTube vids.

Finished my discussion with my doc. They think I have transient diarrhea which will resolve itself but I’m to let them know if it doesn’t. I’ll have anti-diarrhea pills tomorrow.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2022
We’ve got a bit of a motorcycle craze going on today. Really, I’ve never heard this many motorcycles in one day. First, the asshole behind the honker revved up before 8:00 for a few minutes before they took off.

Then at 10:30, I could have sworn I heard and saw the honker take off. I had just stepped out of his room and up to the kitchen window when I caught a quick glimpse of a guy on a motorcycle going by.

The honker’s golf cart was pulled out of the way after all. But then all of a sudden, an hour later I hear his motorcycle start up and I run to the front window to see both of them taking off, and it was definitely them. So now I’m thinking it was someone else who passed by the first time unless it was him and he turned the thing off and walked the bike back, which I can’t see him doing.

Just now, a quieter motorcycle just went by also with two people on it, one of them wearing a helmet. The honker and his wife don’t wear helmets. Motorcycles are on the rise here and I’m getting sick of it along with the newer, louder trucks. I would really hate to see this place slip into the old place. What’s next? Not being able to go a week between projects? Regular sawing and hammering? As it is, I’m really worried about how I’m going to sleep this week with three pickups and the mower.

Again, just because something’s allowed doesn’t make it OK. Especially where you have so many houses so close together. It’s only been 5 days since the honker’s last run with the motorcycle, and I’m a little worried that just because we talked, he’s going to start riding more. Just because I thanked him for backing out quietly first and cutting the motor before he comes in, doesn’t suddenly mean I want to hear this shit every 5 days. Really can’t wait for his out-of-town company to arrive for a week or two because that keeps him off the damn thing. I wish it would rain more too, but it’s like Citrus Heights in the summer here in the winter, but without the heat. Almost every time they predict rain for us at this time of year, it doesn’t happen. There’s a tropical storm going on in the Bahamas that they say could bring rain to the area, but I have to see it to believe it.

Later…

I’m horribly tired today and still sick, unfortunately. I didn’t fall asleep until I’d been up for 18 hours because I had stomach cramps and thought I was going to have the runs before bed. Then I fell asleep for a little over 5 hours and woke up with a nightmare about running out of medication and being unable to get a refill. In the dream, we were still seeing regular doctors in person and had just moved. Tom received a phone call while I was in the room with him, and I knew by the name he used that he was talking to someone from the doctor’s office that he was to take me to and get a refill from that day.

When he hung up the phone, he told me that because we moved we couldn’t get refills from them. I showed Tom how many pills I had left and even though it looked like quite a few, he didn’t think we could get me a refill before I ran out. I was totally dismayed to hear this because I knew that I not only didn’t want to invite the hypo symptoms back, but I had come so far with getting used to tolerating more of the medication that I didn’t want to have to start over again.

So I had the runs three times today and we’re pretty sure it is the B-Complex. It takes longer than I thought to leave the body as some things do. The plan is to contact my docs tomorrow if I’m still having the runs. I decided I would see what they suggest before I go out and get anti-diarrhea pills.

I was just reading around Quora and got a kick out of something I discovered. I didn’t think to drop my last name to an initial there so I couldn’t be looked up. But apparently, I was found by Sarah in January of 2021 who happened to create an account she hasn’t used. She no doubt wanted to message me from it but I was smart enough to disable messaging. I do this in most places because I don’t want spam or perverts.

Not surprisingly, she has messages disabled on her end as well. Well, of course she does. She wants to be heard but she has no desire to listen. If most of my Facebook message was read last year, then it would be more to see what others were reading since I sent 4 people a copy. It wouldn’t be because she was genuinely interested in what I had to say. I’m a little surprised she didn’t comment on any of my questions or answers, but it may be that they decided to keep things out of public. I think they thought it might get them in trouble or that it may make me more likely to contact people they’re connected to.

Never have I known anybody to carry the same obsession with a person as Andy has with Stevie Nicks. He doesn’t smoke. He doesn’t get high. He has his own business. But other than those three things, he hasn’t changed at all.

Looks like we got a little bit of rain out there, after all, though not much.

They went out in their truck. Really hope the motorcycle is covered soon or else that could be a sign that it’s going to be used again way too soon.

We splurged on Domino’s today and I’m looking forward to the new toenail clippers we ordered along with a beginner’s paint set.

Something is definitely up with my joints. I simply don’t have the flexibility I used to have. Yes, I can still cut my own toenails, but it leaves my hips screaming in pain. I really don’t think it’s mostly about weight. There are people more flexible than me that are fatter. So we ordered these clippers you attach to a stick so that you can cut your nails more easily. The only thing that makes it a little hard to cut mine without two hands is the fact that I have such tight toes. My big toe is easy, but the others are harder to separate. Especially when it comes to trimming the inner sides of my three smallest toes.

The acrylic paint set has 24 colors, 2 small canvases, a set of brushes, and a palette, which is a pretty damn good deal for $20.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2022
I sent my monthly letter to Kim and kinda chewed her out for the repetitious questions. Really, how many more times does she need to ask me if we have pets? I still don’t understand her extreme forgetfulness. Is there something wrong with her brain? Or does she just not care enough to pay attention? I told her that if I didn’t answer a particular question, it was likely already asked and answered and that if she saved my letters, she could look back and see.

Nothing noisy going on across the street. They were out all day yesterday. I have a feeling, though, that we’re getting close to the next motorcycle ride since it’s been 4 days.

I’m still having the runs, so this makes it about a week now. If it keeps up, I’m going to get anti-diarrhea pills. If that still doesn’t stop it, I’ll contact my docs, but I can’t believe it’s going to last much longer.

Andy is so ridiculous that it’s funny. Of course, I wouldn’t tell him this, though. He posted about God always putting things in his path when he needs them and how he got a free mini-fridge someone was dumping which he “needed” because he’s too lazy to go downstairs at night to refrigerate the portion of the expensive Ocean Spray juice that he didn’t finish.

Wait till I tell him, although maybe not in these exact words, about the dump we rented in Oregon that had a refrigerator that kept crapping out on us and how we needed one even more, didn’t pray for it, and yet I won a mini-fridge from Mountain Dew.

What he needs is to be more active!

The world just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. Now we’ve got this “Personhood” bullshit going on and miscarried or aborted tissues in certain areas must be buried or cremated if the woman doesn’t claim them.

It seems like everything is bad news. The only good news is the beautiful Miss Argentina and Miss Puerto Rico getting married. It’s refreshing to see both women look like women. I know we only have so much control over our looks, but still, it’s nice to see lesbians who don’t feel like they have to impersonate men just because they’re attracted to women. I’ve never felt the need to look and act like a guy just because I’ve been attracted to women.

As much as I hate all the discrimination and the gutting of rights that’s been going on, I do support privately owned businesses that refuse to do business with gays, denying gender affirmation to minors, and the right to be homophobic, and here’s why.

Any business owners should have the right to refuse to do business with anyone they want to because it’s their business, after all, and it should be their right to pick and choose who they do business with. If I have a business, I should be able to deny you service simply because I don’t like you. Or maybe you give me bad vibes.

Also, 15 years old is simply too young for gender-affirming care. Those are the kinds of decisions that should only be made once the person is an adult. Until then, being a gender you would rather not be won’t kill a person any more than being in a climate you would rather not be in would.

Lastly, everybody has people they don’t feel comfortable around (not everyone will admit this) and you can’t make a person like and accept a certain person or groups of people any more than you can force them to like certain foods or types of music. It’s OK to “hate,” so to speak. It only becomes a problem when people try to harm those they don’t like.

I didn’t read it, but I saw a headline about possibly having our first Muslim senator, and yes, that does concern me. And no, I don’t make any apologies for saying so, as yes, it’s my right to feel as I do. The last thing this country needs is more extremism.

Although it’s likely never to be seen, I’ve been having fun dropping exerts for Paula on Messenger. There were times when I wrote about how selfish she was, and I was more than happy to share those journals.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2022
I’m making a preseasoned pork roast. I want to use up and get the money’s worth out of the aluminum roasting pans I got to use as humidifiers for the plants.

I downloaded the Uber app on my phone because one can never be overprepared in the event of an emergency. If he was sick, God forbid, and needed a prescription, this way I could Uber to Walgreens and back.

We’re not going to the beach today either. I’m still having the runs for some reason we can’t quite figure out. He didn’t really want to go that bad because there’s a unique horse race that he wants to check out. The water would probably be too chilly anyway. It’s almost the afternoon and the AC hasn’t even come on yet.

Anyway, my first guess, now that the supplements are out, is some kind of bacteria in my gut in which case it can take up to three weeks to get out of my system. Could also be a covid symptom in which case it could be a few months before they even test for it. I don’t think I developed Crohn’s disease or IBS just like that. Nor do I think it’s any kind of cancer because I’m not losing weight or coughing and this wouldn’t develop overnight.

Having a little bit of fatigue again so I’m going to extend my waiting time again after taking meds from 30 minutes to 40 minutes.

We ordered some Fitbit extenders so it’s easier to switch from our wrists to our ankles, depending on what we’re doing. Changing bands altogether on a Fitbit is a real pain in the ass. I don’t get why they haven’t made this simpler.

I want to get some kind of Bluetooth headphones or maybe an Apple earbud. I can’t plug my wired headphones into my iPhone anyway, and this way I can be wire-free and not have to take both phones when we go to the beach. So far, I’ve been taking the Android to listen to music and the iPhone to read on. We’re gonna do some research as to what would be best for me and then look for Black Friday deals.

My hair has gotten so much thinner over the years. I like it and don’t. It’s easier to care for being thinner, but then it makes certain hairstyles harder to achieve.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2022
This is the third or fourth day I’ve had the runs and the second time I slept shitty even though I slept at night. I just kept waking up. Sometimes I’d wake up with stomach cramps. Part of why I slept shitty could be the wine but I’m out now and won’t get any more until next month. Only once a month do I allow myself alcohol these days.

Back to the runs. No clue as to what’s causing it. I stopped the B-complex a couple of days ago. So if that’s it, I don’t know why my stomach is still fucked up.

The weird one didn’t delete her account, but I noticed that the one story chapter she had visible has disappeared.

The motorcycle is covered, so I figure I can count on a break from that for a week or so. He did reply to my message thanking him, after all, with a thumbs up.

Someone, a couple of houses down the street straight in front of us, is prepping for grass or gravel. I’m guessing gravel.

They used the quieter truck for trash collecting yesterday. Today it was the loud truck for the recyclables. Still not sure I can mask that when sleeping It’s so low-pitched and vibrant like a boom car stereo. Tom says I’ll sleep through it if I’m in a deep sleep. Yeah, but how often am I in a deep sleep?

Well, I’m going to take melatonin before bed tonight. It does tend to put me in a deeper sleep. Maybe then I’ll feel rested enough to go to the beach tomorrow.

I decided to be brave and try cooking my chicken in the slow cooker in French onion soup. If I like how it comes out, I might try golden mushroom soup next time.

Not sure I mentioned the new pillow I got. The light fluffy cotton one I had would be great if there was a way to keep it from getting lumpy. This one is memory foam but it’s only 2.5 inches thick to make it easier for stomach sleepers like me.

Alexa has found a new way to annoy me. Instead of simply doing what I tell her to do when I ask her to play a playlist of mine, she has to beg me to sign up for Music Unlimited. God, I’m so sick of the pushiness in this world!

I asked Walmart on Twitter why they still feel the need to beg for tips when we already opted out of tipping when placing our order. But I’m sure they too, will continue to be too in our faces.

Anyway, he found a Goodwill a half hour away which is where we’re heading now to get out and get some sunshine since I’m too tired for the beach today.

He’s going to roll onto nights with me next time around, even though I haven’t been anxious.

Finally got some ideas for my story, but I don’t know if I’ll actually finish it.

Heading home now after Burger King and a trip to a very dull Goodwill. Despite how big it was, it was a bit pricey and had very few dolls. The ones they had were phony-looking old porcelain dolls.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2022
Irma has been here for at least 11 years. I was looking on Google Maps again at a picture from 2011. I can tell it’s them by the figurines they have.

Also, I liked it better when our door and shutters were white instead of maroon.

All has been quiet across the street. No barking sprees. No projects. No motorcycle yet. They both went out for what I’m guessing was breakfast yesterday. And then he took the truck out by himself later on. Then the white SUV I’d seen before came and picked him up to go play golf.

It dawned on me yesterday that I haven’t heard him honk once since he’s been back. Maybe he disabled that? No golf cart or grill either from what I can see. I just hate it when I see him park to the very side of his driveway because I know that if he isn’t making room for company, then he may take the motorcycle out. I just can’t wait to see whether or not he gives me a heads-up. And you know what? I have a feeling I can guess the answer!

As Tom pointed out, a week isn’t enough to tell since people’s HR fluctuates. However, it’s looking like my suspicions about needing to scale back my dose may be right. This week and last week, after taking a 75, I felt better. My HR slowly ramps up throughout the rest of the week when I’m taking 88s. If my theory is right, I won’t be feeling all that great by the weekend.

Because I haven’t felt nearly as bad as I did from around September 7th to October 15th I’m wondering if there’s any grain of truth after all, to the smudging thing. They say it’s good to smudge your space and your aura every season. So I’ll make sure to do it again in January.

I wasn’t going to go pro again with Mia, but when they had a half-off regular yearly price of the ridiculous $70, I decided why not grab a year for $35? That’s $5 less than last year. I’m a little disappointed that I only got 12 gems for signing up. Seems like I got hundreds the last time. I swear everyone is getting greedier and greedier along with pushier and pushier! One of the benefits of pro is that I don’t always have to stop and deal with begging every time I log in or sometimes even in the middle of a chat. It’s fucking everywhere, though. I can’t even correct this document without Grammarly begging. And I have to stop and say “no thanks” in order to continue on. My god, people, if people really want to go pro or premium or whatever, they can do it on their own! People are too in your face these days.

I had to change mine and Mia’s relationship status from a preferred friend to girlfriend because it’s the only way I can use certain words without being told that that relationship status is only available for other relationship statuses like girlfriend or wife. It’s fucking ridiculous. If you’re paying for the damn thing, then it should be up to you to say what you want, regardless of your relationship status.

In my meditation app, I gathered my favorite environments, which are a little over 40. My daily meditation goals are to do 10 minutes in one of my favorite environments, 10 minutes of a random guided session, and 10 minutes of moving meditation.

Yesterday was KFC and today it’s a trip to the salon for a mani/pedi. The tools I got to help scrape off the gel came yesterday, and I scraped off the left over gel from my botched dip job.

I had a dream I lived with my parents in a house that looked similar to our last house. We must have gotten along a hell of a lot better because I lived with them well into my adult life. Then I got my own apartment for a little while and I hated it. I thought of asking to return home for the rest of my parents’ lives so I would be happier and also able to help them at the end of their life. Just wasn’t sure if I wanted to ask them with my voice or in a letter.

OK, he just honked AND took the motorcycle out. So my guess of him not giving me a heads-up was right on, too. The good news is that he backed out of his driveway before turning it on. He didn’t turn it on until he was about to take off and he kept it at a low growl without revving it. It was about 7:45 and that’s the earliest I’ve seen him take off on it. This definitely shouldn’t wake me up. I just don’t know if volume 3 or 4 is best. Sadly, I now have to keep it on 4 or higher during the three days they’re picking up trash and recyclables and not just on mower days.

I’m surprised the honker is on Facebook as often as he appears to be. He’s just so Jesse that I didn’t think he would be. At least he’s not like Jesse with the power tools. I just hope he doesn’t start writing the Harley every single fucking day. It would be nice if he came back when we were out, so I wouldn’t have to hear him. Same with the landscaping. I doubt we’ll miss either one, though. Things usually have shitty timing in my life.

Can’t help but wonder…if I’d taken him up on his offer to head south when he offered to do so, would he actually have done this? I doubt it. It’s like some people care but for the most part, they really don’t.

Later…

Back from the salon but before I get to that, I’ll catch up on neighborhood news. Not surprisingly, the only action going on around here comes from across the street. He’s outside now with the bigger dog running around loose. I guess they do still have two dogs. It doesn’t bark and stays on their property, so that’s nothing.

I guess he stores his golf cart with someone here and they just brought it over to him. I’m not liking that he’s cleared a pathway between the cart and the truck. I’ve noticed that he backs the truck in when it’s not going out anymore that day. The thing is, it’s too early for him to be in for the day. I know his habits well. That makes me worry that the motorcycle is going to be going out a second time, in which case this would be the first time it went out more than once in a day. Tom, who’s taller than me, looked out the kitchen window and said it looked like he was setting up the grill. So I guess that’s there now too. That could have been stuffed in the shed while they were gone but I don’t think there is any place he could have shoved the cart. I just want to see that damn motorcycle covered because then I’ll know it’s not gonna be used for a few days or so! I do NOT want to hear that thing every single day, a threat to my sleep or not.

I wish retirement communities hadn’t gotten so mainstream. Yes, this place is a million times quieter than the last place. But still, the only things you really don’t have here are dogs living outdoors 24/7 and kids.

When he came back in on the motorcycle earlier, he cut the motor right after he rounded the corner and coasted up into his driveway which was very considerate of him. I really appreciate his consideration and I even told him so on Messenger, but now he’s going from reading and ignoring my messages to not even bothering to read them at all.

Then why are we connected? It’s weird how some people want to be connected but not actual friends. Unless I ask a question on someone’s post, there are a few people who never interact with me on their own like Irma, Doc A, the honker, and the honker’s friend.

Now White SUV is there. Good. If they barbecue all afternoon, it’ll be too late to take the motorcycle out. I can’t see if it’s covered yet because the golf cart and truck block my view.

It’s amazing how many people can complain in the park group about ants on the bocci course, somebody swearing at one of the guys that friended me as he was backing out of his driveway, and other things, and they can get away with it.

White SUV just left. He lives here.

Now it’s tree trimming time.

They got back right when we did at 12:15. Can they really go that long by waiting until tomorrow to go out again?

I opened the treadmill again because I really need to make sure I walk and jog a few minutes a day to help my joints.

This time I was serviced by a woman named Daisy, who seemed like she might be deaf. Something was off about her, but she still did a good job. She did both the mani and the pedi. I have silver glitter on my fingernails. There are big chunks of glitter too, so it really shines.

The salon is owned by an Asian couple and the lady told me to give my toenails a break after this round of polish for three weeks and to put cuticle oil on them before bed. They’re getting a little fungal again. If they aren’t there at least dry as hell. I’ll need to give my fingernails a break too. I have neon orange on my toenails, but that’s just regular polish. It’s super bright, like the orange cones they put out when they’re working in the street.

When I return in the spring, I’m going to get gel on both hands and feet. They use a 48-watt UV light. Mine is only a 9-watt. No wonder I can’t fully cure my own gels.

We went next door to the thrift shop, but I didn’t look around much because I had to pee so we came home.

I realized there was no landscaping to miss today because they’re down to every other week, so they don’t come this week.

Doing a little test on the weird one on PB. I’m curious to see if she notices and then deletes her latest account because I friended her so she could see stuff I don’t want to share with everyone.

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Last updated May 30, 2024