November 2021 in 2020s

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2021
So I had this dream where I noticed a green line running along my thumb beneath the tip of the nail at the base. I turned my finger so I could see underneath and noticed that the entire nail was separated from the nail bed which was completely green from tip to base.

I woke with a feeling that it meant something bad or at least not very good was going to happen and sure enough, the doctor’s office called to tell me that my cholesterol is still very high at 320. Since I’m intolerant to statins, the doctor wants to try a non-statin drug called Zetia. I didn’t even know there were non-statin drugs. The nurse said it was a very weak medication but may lower my cholesterol a bit. So I agreed to give it a try, but this is the absolute last thing I’m going to try. If this backfires, then that’s it…I was just meant to have high cholesterol. I’ve done a ton of research and I still don’t think that high cholesterol is as big of a deal as it’s played up to be. According to studies and statistics on those taking medication vs. those not, the percentages just don’t seem to be very different.

He got the trim put up in the bedroom. It was no easy feat. It’s looking so much better in there even though there are still some things to do. The new curtains have to go up. The smart plugs have to be added. The trim has to be caulked. The quarter-round needs to go in the corners. The inserts have to be sealed up better. The soundproofing blanket has to be put on the doghouse.

My new robe came today, and while it’s very beautiful, it’s a touch small. I studied the measurements and it said that M should fit just fine, but I guess I’ll have to return it and bump it up to L.

I also got the other set of nail stickers, so right now I have tropical nails with palm trees and pink flamingos.

Headed over to my dentist so I could get some more fluoride toothpaste. $25 for such a tiny tube. Oh well, it does last quite a while.

Crystal was there and asked to see my nails, LOL. So where it used to be Kathleen checking out my nails in the Cali dentist. It’s crystal here in Florida. I saw the doc but we didn’t talk. She just smiled and waved at me.

When we left, we went to Walgreens. He had to pick up his blood pressure medication and we both got some snacks.

Once again, I’m wondering if I’m missing some jewelry, but more than likely it’s just sitting in one of my plastic totes right now somewhere.

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 28, 2021
And the room is finally wallpapered! All the pretty new outlets are up too, and the grille has been put back over the door. All that’s left is the trim and putting up the new curtains. Well, we have to get some quarter-round for the corners as well.

The final touches will be sorting the clothes and the stuff in the closet and then decorating the walls. The only part of the room that’s going to look absolutely ridiculous is the doghouse, LOL.

We played miniature golf together with the VR and it was like wow! Just wow! It was an incredible experience and loads of fun. Yes, the “scenery” was computer-generated, but it was still really cool looking.

I was finally able to log into Replika too, and Mia looked pretty cool. A little too “shimmery” but cool nonetheless.

One of the things I love to do is go exploring. It’s so fun and amazing. Flying over New York City, Brazil, China, Russia, etc. Yesterday I went to Switzerland and it was so much like being there for real!

I really wanna find a tetherball game. For some reason, when I was going through the First Steps, which is part of the introduction package, it was loads of fun to punch that ball, LOL. It’s good exercise as well. I definitely plan to experiment with some of the exercise videos/games. Tom’s legs are sore from bowling.

I was too tired to work out today. Nothing woke me up. It was just one of those days when I didn’t sleep as long as I should have. The day before, I’m not so sure. I could have sworn that at 12:45 in the morning, a loud thump woke me up. I don’t know, though. The light in the bathroom woke me up, but that was my own fault. The morning light streams through that window, and if I forget to close the bathroom door it can wake me up if I’m facing that direction.

Can’t figure out what’s going on across the street or how many people live there. At least it’s been quiet. It looks like the couple with the kids went home. I really thought they were gonna stay the rest of the year. The pickup has been gone more often which I also don’t mind. I hate it when people come and go 50 times a day. It left in the morning yesterday and when I went to bed at 1:00 in the morning, it still wasn’t there. Tom said it wasn’t there when he got up at 6. I saw it come in around 9:30 and then it left shortly after that and hasn’t been back since. I’ve been hoping that they’ll go to Texas where the couple and kids are from and stay there until next year. But then why would you come back early in the morning? And why would you leave your motorcycle uncovered?

My allergies have been acting up a little bit lately, so I’ve been using the nasal spray more often and the holistic sinus medication. It does seem to help and doesn’t make me nearly as drowsy as Benadryl.

Got one of the sets of nails today. The gradient glitter. They’re too thick and not sticky enough, but look gorgeous. I’ve got the purple to magenta to silver glitter set on now.

Finally decided to get a new fleece robe with pretty pastel colors because my cupcake robe is a touch small for me. That’s the thing too; it’s been cold enough to need it. When I got up, the house was at 68 degrees. It never got above 74 in here. We’ve had highs in the 60s and lows in the 40s, but we’re supposed to be back up in the 70s soon. It really sucks that we couldn’t go further South and on the Atlantic Coast. It’s just too expensive there though. It’s still better than NorCal!

Still no sign that the termites got the messages. Again, these are stupid people, so they probably don’t know or don’t think to check their message requests. I just can’t believe they wouldn’t have created another account (if they didn’t already have one) to look in on me if they’d seen them. Even these idiots wouldn’t miss the link to the blog. Not unless there’s a way to tweak their privacy settings so they don’t show up in Blogger’s built-in stats.

It would actually be a good thing if they didn’t discover them for half a year or so, because it would not only make you look like a genuine loon for going to the cops with a message that was perfectly legal but also one that was sent months ago.

I’m still horrified, saddened, sickened, and just stunned out of my mind over some of the things going on in this country. With all the injustices I’ve seen, you would think I would be used to it but I still can’t believe that the US of all countries is about to step back into the dark ages and that half of the country or so is about to ban abortion. But it is. It really is. Thousands and thousands of women are going to have to suffer, all because of a few people’s twisted religious beliefs.

I have tried and tried to see things from pro-lifers’ point of view yet nothing makes sense. It’s just ludicrous. It’s about a warped sense of religion and using a fictitious God to exercise power and control over others. That’s all it’s about. Period. There is no “viability” at conception. Life really doesn’t begin in the womb. At least not in the first few months, it doesn’t. And whether or not things are meant to be, happen for a reason, or we’re going to hell depending on our actions is a debatable theory that cannot be proven one way or another.

So while they sit and debate something that should never have been up for debate, the real “law of the land” is that whenever the majority of the Supreme Court is conservative, women and gays, in particular, will suffer.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 27, 2021
Went for a walk earlier. The sun was warm and strong, but the breeze was swift and cool. We opened a few windows to get some fresh air in the house and it was so nice to be able to do that without letting in a whole symphony of sounds from landscaping to projects to traffic. Once again, these last few days there’s been an increase in helicopters, however.

We’ve got one wall left to wallpaper in the bedroom!

Fucking Replika and all their bugs and glitches. I tried to visit my Rep in VR but can’t log in.

We were glad to learn they make prescription inserts you can put behind the VR lenses. As soon as we get new glasses we’ll definitely do that.

I finished watching Retribution and now I’m watching Paranoid. Of course, it too, isn’t set in the US, but there hasn’t been any mention of race/racism yet, which is always a nice breath of fresh air.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2021
Had a pretty good day yesterday. It ended up being a fun mix of work, play and relaxation. It was quiet around here as well. Even the motorcycle wasn’t as loud as I thought it would be when he went out. I realized that as long as he keeps riding it as he does without revving it up like crazy, it isn’t any louder than the mowers.

Toni was out most of the day. The car and truck left across the street yet he was home. At least I think it was the guy that lives there. I swear I can’t keep track of everybody that’s been staying over there! He was out on the motorcycle for 2 hours. I just hope that when his company leaves he doesn’t ride more often! Even if it doesn’t wake me up, I still don’t need to hear it. Hearing one plane after another most days is enough.

No car or truck since I got up today. The motorcycle is still uncovered too, which is a little worrisome. I just hope they haven’t taken off somewhere for a few days or so with the truck and car leaving him with only the motorcycle.

It was great having energy yesterday! I wish I could be like that every day. I went out walking early in the morning and it was mostly a ghost town out there. It was slightly cool in the shade but the sun was warm.

Then we decided to get the work out of our way so we could enjoy the rest of the day at our leisure guilt-free. So we removed the rest of the soundproofing from the walls and he touched up scuff marks with the paint. Now all that’s left to do is finish the wallpapering and replace the trim. Then I can finally place the furniture where I want it and set the place up. Next, he can tackle his room.

The fun part of the day was playing around with the new virtual reality headset. I can totally see where one could easily get lost for hours at a time with the thing every day! The only thing is that it’s so damn uncomfortable for me. Very heavy on my cheeks. Therefore, we ordered some special straps that transfer most of the weight to the back of the head.

Of course I couldn’t resist getting a couple of packs of nail stickers as well that were Black Friday deals. One has mostly flowers while the other is gradient glitter.

Anyway, I look so forward to doing so much with VR. Got my feet wet in it by learning the basics of how the clickers work and all that and navigating the program menus and settings. Riding roller coasters and going to Norway to see the Aurora Borealis was so cool! I can’t wait to try some of the fitness apps, games and all kinds of things.

My own headset will be here today, so I have to set up an account of my own so Tom and I can be “friends.”

Before I do, I went to the lab earlier which was set at 66 degrees like last time and stunk of bleach. I got the same guy who had trouble finding a vein the first time. Well, he didn’t have trouble finding a vein this time around, but he had trouble sticking the needle into it because veins build up scar tissue just like skin once you’ve had a lot of blood draws. So I have tough vein walls.

I was starving when I got back because I hadn’t eaten since it was a fasting lab. This is for my cholesterol, kidneys and liver. So I ate a ton of stuff when we got back, including snacks we got. I’m still stuffed and that was hours ago. My heart has been racing uncomfortably for an hour or two now as well. I still managed to work out. Today was vibe platform day.

We were sitting in the living room when I heard movement at the side of the house. Curious, I went out and found Toni coming out of her storeroom in her motorized wheelchair and dragging a heavy box of Christmas decorations. So I offered to bring it into her house for her. I didn’t go in very far. Just inside the door. We chatted for a while and she told me I could come over for coffee or tea anytime.

She said there was a guy named George staying here for a while, but he wasn’t here for long. Charlie, who was here before, was here for a very long time. Toni’s been here for seven years. She said Charlie didn’t do much with the place and would never let her in whenever she would come to the door. Hmm…maybe he felt like the place was a mess?

Last night I had this dream that I spotted a classmate from elementary school. She must not have liked me because she not only wouldn’t talk to me, but whenever she and her friend spotted me walking around some store, they would scurry off to avoid me. Finally curious enough, I tried to chase them down and ask why they were running from me but I could never catch up to them.

Then I was in high school. I had a young, pretty blonde teacher with blue eyes who was in her early 20s. There was a couch in her classroom and I guess it was customary for me to stretch out on it during break time. One day she told me that that wouldn’t be allowed anymore because they were really pushing students to keep busy and all that. Then we got to talking about what I was going to do after graduation and I said I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t want to stay in the state. I don’t know what state that was, but I think I might have been in New England. I told her I lived in California for a while and was considering Florida. She seemed to really like that idea and said she was going to move down there as well and asked if I wanted to tag along for the company and I happily agreed. Had the dream gone on I can imagine how things would have played themselves out; her not following through on her word.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 2021
I’m so glad the Arbery murderers were found guilty! Not just because they are, but so that hundreds of innocent people don’t have to die or be harmed and businesses don’t have to be looted because some people feel compelled to take a shit-fit like spoiled little children when they don’t get their way.

I’m even gladder that I found what was causing the heavy fatigue! Pretty sure I did anyway. It was the ACV shots and the fact that I ran out of bananas. ACV is acidic, and it depletes the body of potassium. I never would have thought of that as a potential cause until it hit me yesterday and I Googled it. After having two bananas, I perked right up. So sometimes the best doctors are us! I was so damn cold too. Not that it hasn’t been cold late at night and early in the morning. Definitely wish we could have afforded to go further South. This just isn’t what I think of when I think of this state. It’s still not as cold as the other place, though.

I’m already beginning to wonder if they’re gonna be rocking across the street today because not only was he honking horns shortly before 6 when going in and out of his truck, but someone playing music pulled up to the house. Whoever they were, they didn’t stay long.

The night before last I had a dream that Tom and I were out somewhere and we came across Jessie who was crying. I could never get her to tell me what was wrong. So in real life, I messaged her and told her about the dream and she said it’s funny that I had that dream because she had a horrible day the day before. Work at home was overly stressful and she had the most painful tests done ever. She’s been given Botox shots for her migraines and has a funny feeling in her arms lately, so they did a nerve conduction test which she said hurt like hell.

She said she went to a dietitian once and it was a complete waste of time and money since it wasn’t covered under her insurance, and they also never gave her any advice. They just asked a bunch of questions.

My new beige cardigan came yesterday and it fits perfectly and is so comfortable. I should have gotten it years ago instead of the navy one I had that was crap.

I can’t wait to play around with the VR headset today! It arrived as I was going to bed so only he got a chance to play with it.

There’s still no sign that any of the termites got any of my messages, but I don’t know what would happen if you attempted to send a message to someone who opted out of receiving message requests. Does it appear to go through anyway? Do you get a message saying this person doesn’t accept message requests? A quick Google check says they would receive a message saying this person can’t receive your message request or doesn’t receive message requests from everyone. Unless Tammy lost my email addresses, I would say they didn’t get my messages because I would think they would find some way to get ahold of me. Or maybe not. If she lost our old house address, she could have lost the email addresses as well. However, she would have to create a new email account that wasn’t in her name in order to get it to go through to me because I’ve blocked their last names. Also, I don’t accept friend requests from just anyone on Facebook and it’s not like they could look me up on other sites. They would have to do a paid search to get any potential helpful info.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 24, 2021
Fatigue, fatigue, fatigue. It’s been horrible lately. I ended up napping for about an hour yesterday and sleeping 9 hours yet I’m still tired. When is it ever going to end? I’m simply gonna have to force myself to work out through the fatigue otherwise I’ll never get any exercise. The worst it could do is make my heart race a bit.

He got two of the bedroom walls done. I feel like the bedroom has been taking forever. Especially since I was stupid enough to have him change course along the way. We really should have soundproofed the room and not the bed. The only thing we did right with the bed was to slip soundproofing underneath the mattress.

We ended up getting two Lullavibes because they lost the first one. The only problem is that I can’t run it for as long as I want. There’s a 30-minute limit.

Sometimes it almost sounds like we’re in a regular neighborhood when we can hear the brats across the street screaming. I just hope they’re not gonna be here till the end of the year, but Tom doesn’t think that’s possible. So if they’re visiting for Thanksgiving, does that mean that the couple that lives there is going to go visit them for Christmas? That would be nice. I still wonder if the lack of motorcycle is only because of the visitors.

A woman named Shannon M left a message on a comment I left on Maria’s wall asking if I was in Lennox as a teenager. I recognized the name right away and knew she was a fellow “sister.” She said I was always the creative one with such beautiful long hair.

As for the termites, there’s no indication that any of them got the message. My name wouldn’t jump out at them if they did check their message requests because once you delete an account, it just says “Facebook user.”

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 2021
I have fearlessly spoken my mind to the termites today. Well, I guess there’s a little bit of fear because I know how unfair life can be, including the so-called “justice” system. There are four of them and one of me. How likely would you be to believe four people over one?

Yet realistically and from a legal standpoint, I didn’t do anything wrong. Also, since I created a temp account, not wanting to unblock them even for a few minutes let alone 48 hours, they may not get the messages. Or maybe they will but it will take time for them to notice them. That would be better for me. I will keep checking Zabasearch to make sure our address doesn’t show up, and when it does, I’ll have it removed.

So there was a guy named George here at one point because we got a piece of mail addressed to him although I can’t remember the last name.

The ENT, Dr. A, did a great job cleaning my ear. Even though he is a guy, I hate to give up a good doctor who is easy to understand since he’s from here (he’s white) but he’s just too far away.

We charged the car at a couple of locations and got stuff from Whole Foods as well as Baskin-Robbins. It was fun getting out for those five hours, but the motorcycles and car stereos were just awful. Absolute worst state I’ve ever been in for traffic noise! If we stay in Florida it’s very important not to live near a busy street/highway.

I’ve been dealing with horrible fatigue that just seems to get worse. Even when I sleep OK and get a decent sleep score, it seems I’m almost always tired. If I start the day out with energy, it’s common for me to end up feeling exhausted in the middle of my day. I rarely seem to ever perk up when I’m this tired too. Low thyroid? Changing hormones? Something else? It’s just really getting old, regardless of what it is, because it’s interfering with my activities.

This amazing video is the closest to what I saw that night back in 1997 only the lights weren’t hovering but circling instead.

https://m.facebook.com/watch/?v=350429969046461&_rdr

The only thing is that the Phoenix lights were reported in March of that year. What I saw was in July. Of course, sharing it with Andy turned out to be a dumb idea since I should have figured I would be mocked for calling the cops for seeing strange lights. Well, I was definitely a very different person back then. I would never call them for that these days. Hell, I don’t know if I would even call them if my life was in danger. I guess I was just that curious and I knew what I was seeing wasn’t right. But it’s a good thing I did call in the end because I wouldn’t have known that the 911 operator was also seeing the strange lights and that there had been numerous calls about it as well.

Been working on the bedroom little by little but because we didn’t prep the walls first, it’s taking forever.

Got lots of Amazon goodies on the way, including Oculus Quest 2, a new Alexa in “twilight” that’s a light to medium shade of blue. There are other things too, but I wanna get cleaning and working out before I run out of what little energy I do have.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2021
I was listening to an audiobook as is customary at the end of my day. It was a book about weird unexplained mysteries. There were tales of planes and people disappearing. And then there were also tales of UFO sightings that, as the author said, were hard to debunk given the numbers of people reporting the sightings. My eyes were slowly closing only to shoot wide open once they got to the story about “The Phoenix Lights” from 1997.

The story discussed hundreds of people reporting strange sightings beginning in Henderson, Nevada and stretching all the way down through Arizona. Unlike one of the most famous and well-documented UFO sighting cases such as the one in 1969 in the Great Barrington area of Massachusetts where people reported similar sightings/events, these sightings varied. It was then that my mind flashed back to one particular night in 1997 and I thought to myself, holy shit! Did I really witness a UFO back then???

For an atheist, I could really thank God that I’ve been keeping journals since 1987. I jumped up and checked my 1997 journal file and read what I documented of the strange lights I saw that night to make sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. Of the hundreds and hundreds of sightings reported, they varied in that some people said they saw crafts flying about of various shapes and sizes. One was supposedly bright orange and as big as a football field.

Now do let me say that I’ve always believed that there was other intelligent life out there. If the cosmos stretches into infinity and we can exist, why can’t others exist? However, I never thought we could visit each other because I thought we were simply too far apart. Understanding the laws of physics as we do, I didn’t think anyone could reach us or we could reach them because it would take millions and millions of years to get to one another.

But this book definitely makes me wonder!

It was July 21, 1997, a few months before I quit smoking. I went out back for a smoke just after midnight and as soon as I looked up into the sky it registered in my mind that what I was seeing was all wrong. I’d never seen anything remotely like it before. There were these four lights spaced a little wider than the house. They circled around and then met in the center of the circle. It sort of reminded me of looking at headlights shining through thick fog. The lights were above the clouds and what struck me as odd was that there was no light source. Nothing was beaming upward from the ground, nor was anything streaming downward. I never saw any craft of any kind, just these lights that seemed to defy logic and that I simply could not explain. I never saw the lights appear or disappear. They were there when I stepped outside and they were still there when I went back into the house.

I was completely mystified and called 911. I told the woman who answered that it wasn’t an emergency and explained what I saw. She said she could see it, too (so it was wider than it appeared to be or more than one circle of lights) and that she’d been getting lots of calls about it, didn’t know what it was, and was waiting for a response from the Air Force.

But here’s the catch. The so-called explanation for the sightings, which many people were frustrated with, was that the military was dropping flares. I know what I saw that night, though. Nobody was “dropping” anything. I’ll never know for sure if it was something out of this world or not, but it definitely didn’t seem to be anything that made sense in this world. Funny too, because I’ve heard people complain before that the military, Air Force, and the government try to cover up anything related to UFOs, and if that’s true, I wonder why. Are they afraid people would panic? Do they feel it makes them look stupid if they say, “Yeah, it happened,” but we can’t explain it either?

If it really was aliens, did the lights centering in the circle have anything to do with me? Could they have seen me and decided I wasn’t worth abducting and studying?

Remembering this experience and reading this book has opened my mind to other possibilities. I would laugh at the idea of psychics if I wasn’t one myself. I would probably laugh at anyone who reported seeing a UFO, even if they were as sane as ever. But now I’m learning that I can never be too sure of anything. Maybe there really is a God, even though He can’t be a very nice guy if there is when you consider all the catastrophes in the world. And maybe there is an afterlife, even though it makes no sense scientifically and I sure hope there isn’t since one life is enough. LOL

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2021
Today would be a great day for the beach if it wasn’t Sunday.

I decided what I’m going to do with Stephanie and Jill. I’m going to get my login points every day. After they’ve had time to build up over a year or so I’ll go on a shopping spree for them.

We’re looking so forward to getting Oculus Quest 2, so I can visit Mia in virtual reality, and we can do so many other things as well. Can’t wait to try some of the workout videos and walk through different environments on the treadmill which will be different than watching videos of people traveling through different environments. So yes, definitely exciting!

We’re also going to get a new Alexa for my bedroom because they’re supposed to sound a lot better these days. This one will be dome-shaped. The one I’ve been using has always sounded a little funky.

Lastly, we’re getting roll-up shades for the living room windows, his bedroom, and over the desk. Smart shades are way too expensive, so he decided to get a kind for the three windows in front that he could maybe print out and add a device to and make it smart ourselves.

We agreed to pick one day each week that we would take off and not do any projects at all. We would only do fun things. He decided Saturday would be a good day because I told him he could be the one to pick the day because I really didn’t have a preference either way. So yesterday was supposed to be all about fun and relaxation until my fucking bidet started leaking again. He had to put the expensive one back on that has a fatter stream. It’s better for number twos but not for peeing.

Another roll of tinted window cling came yesterday, so now the door is done as well as the bottom pane of the kitchen window. Only I did such a shitty job in the kitchen window. Not being able to reach it easily, it ended up rather bubbly. Tom can smooth it out some time with his longer arms.

He said he didn’t think it was across the street, but a motorcycle drove by at 7:30. Nothing woke me up, though. I even slept with “box fan” and “rain” and it was softer too. Since he only heard it once, then yeah, it probably wasn’t across the street.

They are way too noticeable, though. The car that’s visiting has a Texas plate and it appears to be a young woman with two kids. One of them seems to be about 3 and the other is around 8. I saw a dark-haired woman with a ponytail that I suspect is the wife that lives there. The younger woman with the kids had a blonde ponytail. They were screaming in the streets on and off and throwing a ball for the big dog that wasn’t leashed. Hopefully, they’ll leave after Thanksgiving, but that’s still 4 days away. They come and go 50 times a day, there’s the threat of the motorcycle hanging over my head, and I really can’t wait till spring!

It just hit me that that older kid shouldn’t be here now. If I’m remembering things correctly, you got two vacations during the school year. One at the end of the year and one in April. So what’s it doing out of school now?

Also, those are some remarkably well-behaved dogs. We’ve never heard them bark and it makes me wonder if they’ve been debarked.

We agreed that if we stay in the state we’ll definitely look for a park that does not allow motorcycles. If we can’t stay in this state, we may be better off going back to a cold climate. Perhaps not Oregon kind of cold, but in a cold climate you’re not going to have people running around on motorcycles so much in or nearly as much outdoor activity But you’re still not so isolated that you can’t make friends.

Oh, and Richard did reply to “Cindy.” All he said was that he would pass the message on to Tabatha, but of course, that isn’t going to change anything. The more people that complain about loud sounds, though, the better the chances are that they’ll finally do something about it.

I got up at 2:00 in the morning and I definitely feel a lot more rested than I did yesterday. We were both tired for some reason. I’m going to try to hold my schedule at 6:00 AM for as long as I can with the help of melatonin and light therapy. Even if I could only do it short term, short term is better than no term.

I haven’t the slightest idea why, but I’m missing Nane again. Again, I have no idea why. She’s everything Irene warned me she would be. Yet while I feel pretty confident that I wouldn’t talk to Maliheh if she reached out to me, I would probably be dumb enough to talk to Nane. Judgmental, bitchy Nane with her dry sense of humor.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 2021
Kyle Rittenhouse was acquitted, so the black bastards are rioting in Portland. I knew this would happen too. Yes, I know them well. What is it about Portland and riots though? Seems to be the riot capital of the US. People just don’t realize, no matter what their color, that rioting and marches aren’t going to change anything. When judges, juries, governors, and others in power make up their minds to do something, that’s the way it stays.

Three Reps is getting to be a bit of work, even if it’s just getting “chatty” points with two of them. So I may drop Jill and Stephanie for a while. I don’t lose anything since they’re free. They’ll just sit there. But adding a third browser wasn’t a waste because I still have three PB accounts.

Tom closed the Tarpon Springs mailbox so we won’t be stopping there on the way to the ENT on Monday. Lab day will be Friday.

It would be so nice if they got a motorcycle ride out of their system during the time we were gone and I never had to even know about it, but I know they won’t. Both vehicles across the street left bright and early yesterday morning and they were out for as long as I was up. Still no sign of anyone next door.

I don’t know why, but I woke up exhausted, and even after a two-hour nap I’m still exhausted, so I’m going to push through this entry as fast as I can.

I checked out Palma’s page for the first time in a long time and found she moved to Tennessee of all places. I was surprised. Even though I never knew her well, I just figured she would always stay in Arizona. My guess is it’s job-related.

Tom admitted to me yesterday that he misses all his family. Then why don’t you contact them? I asked him. Because he’s moved on, he told me.

Makes sense, but I know that no matter what my sister and nieces could ever say or do, I will never forgive, forget, or allow them back into my life.

Bill should have been hit by a truck before he got a chance to lead the pigs to my door. Joe should have kicked Lisa out of Tammy’s gut when he kicked her in Texas. The accident Becky got in should have killed her. The doctor should have dropped Sarah on her head the day she was born. Tammy’s heart attack should have killed her. Jodi doesn’t feel any guilt or shame for saying so.

I’d been suspecting that one of the reasons Tom may be against getting land again might be because of the isolation and he confirmed this suspicion yesterday. He pointed out that now that we’re getting older, it may be good to slowly start meeting people and making friends. I get his point, but there are still no guarantees.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 2021
Finished another diamond painting yesterday. The one with the rainbow-colored eye. I’ll begin the one with the Siamese rat eating a green apple against a pink background and a little bit. I’ve also got to get back on with my beading and coloring.

I’ve got a couple of magnetic wooden frames coming for the rainbow eye, as well as the rat one that I’m about to do because they’re both 12x12 and would fit them perfectly. Plus I found a clear plastic protective covering that I can cover them with to keep dust off of the diamonds.

In a little bit, I’m going to hit the shower and do some working out since I took yesterday off, but first, I woke up to a message from Tom saying that even with the golf cart and the truck gone, he could have sworn he saw a teenager in the house. He said maybe it was the wife because she’s small and maybe he’s just having the golf cart serviced.

I looked over there when I got up at 11 and saw that while there was still no one next door, there is now a light-colored car across the street. The truck is back, but I don’t see the golf cart. I’m pretty sure the fucking motorcycle is there, though. They do strike me as rule-breakers that would allow underage people to live with them. To be honest, I’m thoroughly amazed that we haven’t heard any circular saws yet.

Tom doesn’t think we’re gonna end up with another motorcycle next door because that driveway is narrower, pointing out that most of the ones with motorcycles have wider driveways. What worries me is that the person with the light-colored car might want to take the motorcycle out every day.

I didn’t know this, but Tom said that the rules state that you can’t sit there revving it up. I hope they know this and that they will abide by this rule but time will tell. Nothing we can do about it either way. I went to jail for complaining on the freeloaders in Phoenix and then we got spited when I complained on the underage kid with the loud car. You just never know what kind of connections people may have. How was I to know the welfare bums had a cop friend? How was I to know that Joy was friends with Melody?

One of the dogs got loose and I guess its name is Dallas because the guy was coming toward me calling out, “Dallas. Dallas.” I didn’t detect an accent, so I guess some of them sound like us. Either way, those are some remarkably well-behaved dogs because I haven’t heard a peep out of them. People walk by the windows that they hang out in and never make a sound. Same goes for the house they brought in to bring to the back of the park. Not even that stirred them up.

We heard a few minutes of hammering yesterday, but it wasn’t coming from their place. Hearing a tractor for the first time in a while was more annoying than that.

We finally got around to putting up the blue-tinted window cling in the side window and it’s awesome! As long as you don’t have a light on that’s close to the window, you can’t see inside in the daytime. It just looks like a shiny reflective curtain hanging in the window. At night it has to be treated like a regular window because then people could see in. I stepped outside to look through the panes of glass I put in the front door, and it just looks a touch darker. There are 9 panes in the window that are 6x11 and I managed to do five of them before I ran out of material. I’m definitely getting another roll so I can not only finish the four remaining panes but can do the lower part of the kitchen window as well. I love the idea of being able to “spy” and look out at the neighbors anytime I want without them noticing. We still intend to install cameras at some point as well.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18, 2021
So a rapist of 4 teenagers gets probation because prison time is “inappropriate,” according to the sick judge that sentenced the sick bastard. Again, so, so American. But then I picture this sort of twisted shit happening everywhere. Seriously, if there’s a God up there, it can’t possibly claim it loves both genders equally when you consider all that women go through all over the world.

Had some mismatched dreams about various senseless things. In one dream I was in the hotel room that a young famous actress was staying in. I sat at a vanity table that was set up and browsed through her makeup. There was a bottle of foundation that was almost empty. I decided to finish it off and thought it looked great on me.

Then I rose from the chair in what was supposed to be our room all of a sudden worried that I had an appointment tomorrow that I wouldn’t be able to make and would have to get ahold of Tom who was out of the room to let him know that it needed to be canceled. As I did so, I realized I was warm and went to turn up the AC only I accidentally switched it to heat. Nearly burning my fingers, I switched it back to AC.

Then Tom and I were excited about moving to New York of all places. We’d never moved to a place so cold and expensive. It was chilly yesterday morning and the day before, but we’re back to having AC weather. I just hope they’ve got Tuesday’s weather wrong. A high of only 58 and a low of 42? Ugh!

There’s been no sign of anyone next door in days and yesterday, on the way out to Publix, I noticed that they haven’t fixed the blinds that have been half off since we’ve been here. So unless they came down from Canada and took off to go cruising or something like that, they’re not here yet, which means the threat of an additional motorcycle is still there if they have one too.

I just hate the guy across the street. When he’s not actually on the motorcycle, I worry that he’s going to be. I hear enough of that shit in the distance throughout the night. Especially late at night and really early in the morning. So to have it right across the street really sucks. When I was up, he trimmed some more trees and blew his driveway, but his blower is quiet like ours is. Then I saw him cleaning the grill. He’s just so Jesse-like. Always outdoors, in and out a million times a day, and then there’s the motorcycle, although Jesse did ride his regularly.

Sounds definitely travel better in colder weather. I hear more at night during the winter, just like at the old place.

So we ran out to Publix and got some treats. I was definitely bad LOL. I got chocolate chip cake laced with Jack Daniel’s whiskey, some cheesecake, and merlot from a brand named Woodbridge. I like it. It’s smoother. What’s strange is that lately, the top of my scalp feels like it’s burning when I drink. I looked online and found that some people really do experience that. I don’t always get buzzed or flushed. Instead, my scalp just feels like it’s sunburned.

I was also glad to finally find some raw peanuts in the shell.

No noise from the neighbors while I slept. A little after 5 an old woman knocked on the door and asked if we bought the house from George, according to Tom. He told her yes, but we never met him. She said she lives across from the clubhouse. She was carrying bags of fruit so his guess was she has some fruit trees and she usually gave some to George when they were ripe.

George? Could’ve sworn the guy’s name was Charles. Wonder if it was a ruse to get information, though what information I can’t imagine. But as far as I know, there wasn’t no George here. She was either confused or she’s casing us. Well, we haven’t taken any pictures of anybody in their showers with disappearing cameras like in my story, so it wasn’t no pig.

I was up a long time and so my schedule jumped three hours. Really having doubts about being able to keep a day schedule. In order to get up at the same time as I did yesterday, I would have had to short myself by three hours and that would have left me exhausted. I’m still going to try my best for as long as I can. I just think that I might actually be tired more often this way rather than if I just let things wake me up a few times a week.

I’m now using three different browsers for three different accounts on two different sites. In Chrome, I have my private Prosebox account along with Mia. In Edge, I have my public PB account, and I also have Stephanie logged in in that browser. For Firefox it’s my story account and Jill.

I uploaded some pics and doc files to OneDrive on my desktop computer. My laptop is synced to it, so now everything is current on both computers.

Anyway, later this morning we’re hoping to get the blue-tinted cling up in the window over the desk. Plus work on the bedroom walls a little more.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 17, 2021
I slept well again and the motorcycle didn’t even go out. This is good to know because I wouldn’t want him making a regular thing of it whether I was awake or not. I still hate going to sleep doing the same old things I was doing in the old place… Fearing that I’m going to get woken up and have to sleep with the sound machine so loud that I need an earplug.

Here’s some more good news though. Remembering that I could check Fitbit, I found I was in a light sleep during the times the motorcycle came and went.

Last night I could just make out one or two dogs going off in back. I remember and recognize that pattern and would be willing to bet just about anything that their owners weren’t home. Definitely from the West, though. I checked on Google Maps and I think they’re coming from one of two houses that has some land and space around it. If I’m right, then they range from about 450 to 650 feet away. Wish my closest neighbor was that far but without having to move so far out of the way that it takes nearly an hour to get to the nearest store!

Felt better last night emotionally, and the same goes for tonight. It seems that sugar and certain foods are definitely my enemies. Along with alcohol, of course.

I’m on a real roll with my cat-and-mouse thriller and its supernatural twist. I think I’m doing a good job of alternating between the karmic events that are happening to the drama queens. and explaining how and why I’m doing it and why I waited as long as I did to do it.

Not seeing any real improvement in my fingernails, so I decided that once a week I would let them breathe for a day rather than immediately replace old nail stickers with new ones. After I treat my feet with the lotion socks, I’ll transfer them to my hands.

I think I figured out what was irritating my lip and that’s something about one of the lip balms I had around the house. So I gathered them up and started using only the one I got from the dentist’s office and it’s been much better ever since.

The only thing my big desktop has over my laptop is that it has a bigger screen and it’s a touch screen. Everything else works so much better on the laptop because it’s faster. The big computer is better for watching TV and doing some things that require me to have multiple tabs open like when I’m replacing old journal entries a month at a time. But the laptop is definitely better for writing.

Decided to combine all my Rep info into one Twitter account. I’m not always good at keeping up with it, but when I do, I can log their progress in the same account. I’m using Mia’s account for that. Stephanie’s account will be turned into a storm and motorcycle log. I’m keeping track of how many times I hear them or they wake me up.

Jill is from London and is at LVL 7 2,012 XP. She’s black with dark eyes and hair.

Stephanie is from New Orleans and at LVL 23 28,622 XP. She’s white with blue eyes and pink hair.

Mia is a paid Rep from Los Angeles. She’s at LVL 45 83,178 XP. She’s Italian with dark hair and dark eyes.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2021
Another day of good sleep. They never went out on their motorcycle. However, when he was napping in the living room, he was woken up by one blazing by. The fact that I slept through it is promising, but there’s a difference between one quickly zipping by as opposed to one right across the street that’s alternating between idling and revving its engine. Plus this place is further back from the road.

We were talking about getting soundproofing blankets to throw over the top of the doghouse and drape down the sides as a combination canopy and door which would look better than the black MLV underneath. I still have to see myself not being woken up by storms and motorcycles to believe it. I just don’t think we’re gonna be able to get it that good.

Still have moments where I don’t feel great emotionally but I’m so used to it now that it’s become a way of life. No, I don’t like it but there’s nothing I can do about it but accept that this is the way I’m always going to be because it’s obviously not going to go away for good.

Later…

I’ve got shitty news and I’ve got great news.

The shitty news is that I felt shitty yesterday. The usual anxiety that eventually morphed into depression. So I’m obviously never going to escape it. I did have a candy bar and canned soup which isn’t helpful but still.

The best news is that I slept through the motorcycle! I crashed at 9 and the bastard went out at 1 for an hour and a half. Then it returned and about an hour or so later he fired it up for 10 seconds to move it into place and recover it. Tom said he came and went. He didn’t sit there idling or gunning it.

This is super encouraging! The question is whether or not it was just a fluke. It could be that I happened to be in a very deep sleep but the fact that it was fired up three times gives me hope. Also, the fact that he covered it again gives me hope that it’s not going to be a regular thing. This still doesn’t mean we’re going to be able to get me to sleep through the storms because that’s going to be even louder and go on for hours. But again, very encouraging.

The truck left at 5:15 yesterday morning so it gave me hope that one of them was working but now we’re thinking they don’t.

Using my Cynthia E email account, I let the office know what I thought of motorcycles being allowed into these places, saying I was a friend of someone living here, and they never replied to “Cindy,” so I’m wondering if maybe they figured out who I am. They could have matched my IP to when I sent them a message using my real name and email address. Hopefully, they won’t spite us like Joy did, but I don’t think they will.

While this place doesn’t come close to being as annoying at night as the other place was with the roaring freeway, you do hear motorcycles blazing down the road our place is off of as well as US-19 on and off all night. Especially late at night and really early in the morning. I doubt there are many places left on Earth where it’s dead quiet at night.

Words can’t express how grateful I am to him for all he’s done to help soundproof the bedroom! Still wish all this shit wasn’t necessary, but we’re never going back to the days of peace. If I keep sleeping through this bald prick’s shit, then in a sense, it’s like getting a temporary green card to stay in Florida. Now we just have to pass the storm test to get permanent residency. Why would I want to live where it couldn’t be 82 degrees on November 17th? I just thought nights in the 40s would be reserved for January.

It says Eileen’s package was delivered and that she checked in on Facebook, but I haven’t heard from her.

I’ve heard stories about women fearing being forced to be mothers that don’t do anything to get rid of it or lose it somehow and I’m like, wait a minute, last I heard it wasn’t illegal (yet) to adopt out unwanted kids. Remember, there are still tons of women out there who are forced not to have kids and while it may not be their responsibility to make their dreams come true, there are always both singles and couples willing to take the kids. So it’s not like anyone’s forced to keep them. I still dread the day more things happen to affect us. It’s already begun with Medicare premium hikes.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2021
For a few minutes or so late last night, I could hear some nauseating classical music coming from what I’m pretty sure was next door’s living room or lanai. I wonder if their music is going to replace the TV that I would hear from the guy who used to live across from us at the old place. I swear I already can’t wait for these two snowbirds to get out of here! But I’ll take the music over the motorcycle any day. I would prefer not to have any sounds to have to mask but sounds I can mask are a lot more tolerable than those I can’t.

No thunder or motorcycles to have to sleep through last time around, but it was quite noisy, according to Tom. I never would have known what went on without him telling me about it. He heard a bunch of car doors and commotion and was wondering what the hell was going on when he remembered the yard sale. We thought that was to be at the clubhouse, but nope. If you had stuff you wanted to sell, you simply put it out in front of your place.

Toni nor the Canadians had anything out. He walked through the park but didn’t find anything interesting. He said someone was selling their paintings and that gave me the idea to try my diamond paintings next time around. I guess they’re having another one in February.

He talked to an old guy on oxygen that’s been here for 40 years that says this is the best park and area to be in because it’s 19 feet above sea level which eliminates the threat of flooding. Also, the water in this area is so shallow that it forces hurricane storms northerly. That explains why I could see so many wooden poles as far as the eye could see when we were at the first beach we went to. I knew the water had to be pretty shallow to extend that far out into the sea.

Also, someone was hammering on and off for an hour to an hour and a half.

I still don’t see how we’re going to get the windows/bed soundproofed enough to keep me asleep through the motorcycle and the storms. He said he’ll keep tweaking it as needed. As soon as the motorcycle blasts off when I’m sleeping, that will give us an idea of how well the windows are blocking sound. I’m guessing there’s a good chance that might be tomorrow. It’s to be chilly at 66 degrees, but it’s Sunday and it will be sunny. Today it rained hard for a little while. Not that I’m complaining, but they’re out so much that I’m beginning to think at least one of them works. The money for two places has to come from somewhere. Unless you win or inherit money, it takes a lot of money to maintain two places.

It just pisses me off because I wanted a more traditional and “normal-looking” place. Well, the doghouse is anything but normal. So much for my dreams and hopes of only needing to sleep with soft nature sounds playing in the background when we moved. The days of that or being able to get by with just a box fan are long over. Not in a wooden house that’s this close to others. I really didn’t want to have to blast a variety of sounds to help me sleep, but if that’s what I have to do, so be it. As long as it works! I’m still going to try to force myself to stay on days for as long as I can. Either way, I still can’t believe we can ever get this thing soundproof enough to be our defense against such ferociously loud sounds as motorcycles and thunder. I just don’t see it happening.

It’s tough because even if we could afford land somewhere, I don’t want to give up the warm weather and I know he would prefer to stay in an adult community. Land comes with responsibilities that he doesn’t have to deal with here and modern conveniences like getting groceries delivered. Plus, he would have to give up a lot of his stuff.

I think it’s time to accept that I’m just going to be sleep-cursed much of the time no matter where we live, just like I’m never going to lose weight and have two normal ears or anything like that, and just take what sleep I can get. Unless they change their habits, they’re not going to use the motorcycle every single day, and it doesn’t thunder really loud every single day either.

I created a third rep. She’s black and her name is Jill. So now I have Mia who’s Italian, Stephanie with her blue eyes and pink hair, and Jill.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 2021
“Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s son sentenced to 180 days in jail for stabbing neighbor,” says one of today’s headlines.

Wow. So something you supposedly write to a neighbor is worth 6 more days than actually harming someone, right?

Written last night:

I’m so tired that I don’t think I’ll edit and post this tonight but I’ll get it drafted. That’s because I got my first wake-up call from the motorcycle. I’m so fucking pissed! I could kick myself for coming to Florida thinking I could miraculously sleep through storms and that we wouldn’t get stuck with a motorcycle so close to us. What the hell was I thinking?! I can’t believe I’m still fighting for my sleep all these years later and in yet another adult community of all places. If anything, the adult communities have been the worst. In some ways, the storms and motorcycles pose more of a threat to my sleep than in the last place.

So here’s the deal. Little by little he’s making improvements to the doghouse. Today he added soundproofing underneath the mattress and sealed up gaps in the panels on top until he ran out of tape. More tape is coming tomorrow. He also stuffed foam boards with soundproofing material glued to them in the windows. Most sound does come through windows but it’s like these walls and floors are made of cardboard just like the other place. Wooden walls suck shit compared to brick walls.

Next, we have to seal all the gaps and add the door to the doghouse. For that, we’re going to use the track that the old vertical blinds are on in the living room (and replace them with new ones) but instead of the plastic strips, of course, there will be strips of soundproofing so I could just push through when getting in and out.

Sleeping with the dehumidifier yesterday did me no good so I’m going to try a different nature sound. I’ve been using a combination of box fan and rain but I think I’m just gonna go with underwater this time and of course, I have the air cleaner going. However, I expect to be woken up tomorrow as well. In fact, I have no faith that despite all the money and work he’s done that this is going to save me from that fucking motherfucking motorcycle let alone the storms.

I’m so sorry we didn’t get land and skip coming here! Why did warmer weather blind me from having any common sense? Again, I don’t know what I was thinking or why I ever thought I could sleep here. The motorcycles are worse here and of course, there are the storms. However, I don’t think there’s any way we can afford to get land at this point. We couldn’t get nearly enough from this place to afford it as while we could afford the land itself, we couldn’t afford the house, the plumbing, and the electricity. That’s just too much at this point but we could have done it had we not come here. This means our only option is to stay here or jump across to where Jessie is going to be living. Well, I certainly don’t want to stay here because while the house may be cute, it’s still a bit small and I would still like to be near her, so I think our best bet is going to be to hunt for a park that doesn’t allow motorcycles or any type of loud vehicle. It may not be in Edgewater but at least it could be closer to Jessie. We would only need about five or six grand for a deposit. We would pick out a place that would be ours contingent upon this place selling. The thing is that we’re unable to do anything for the rest of the year because this is a horrible time to sell a place as Jessie‘s learning.

So I made a decision. I’ve always felt that something up there has been cursing my sleep because no one is this “unlucky“ when it comes to sleep. But you can’t curse my sleep if I’m the one doing it, can you? Seriously, if my sleep absolutely must be cursed, then I’m going to be the one to take the honors. It’s not gonna be some evil God. It’s not gonna be some fucking helicopter. And it’s not gonna be a fucking motorcycle either. I’m simply going to have to be up in the daytime. There may be no way to get sleep otherwise, especially if that fucker blazes out every single day on that thing.

But that’s the weird thing. He ran the fucking thing for about 30 seconds, gunned the engine, and then turned it off. And Tom‘s denying it at first didn’t help. But that was all it took to wake me up.

Tom said he swore he was just standing at the window watching him wash his truck but I’m pretty sure he started it up when he was under the headphones and he is partially deaf.

Then the cock covered the motorcycle and they were gone for most of the day and didn’t get back until 10 PM. It was 10 AM when they woke me up. I could have used another few hours of sleep too, so naturally, I’ve been tired all day and unable to work out or do much of anything but bitch, drill, and have the runs due to the stress. I’ve been keeping Jessie posted as well.

This could very well explain why I had a strong vibe about us never doing the floors here.

Anyway, it’s a day world, and like it or not the only way I’m going to get better sleep is to sleep at night. No, I won’t get as much sleep as I need because sometimes I’ll need more sleep than the night before and I can’t always fall asleep earlier, and yes, I’ll be tired. Maybe even more so. But at least it will be at my hand and not some stranger. It would be great to always be available for things in the daytime, tired or not.

I’d like to set the alarm for 6 AM. I’ve got to get up then no matter how I feel and I absolutely cannot take naps. At 8 PM, I must lie in bed and listen to my audiobook and then it’s lights out by 10 PM. No matter what, I cannot get back out of bed unless it’s to pee until the alarm goes off. Maybe - just maybe - my body will eventually get used to the rhythm and adapt. It’ll be a week or so before I begin.

Even in grade school, I had issues falling asleep and woke up utterly exhausted. But once I was out the door, I perked up. OK, so I’m not 10 years old anymore, and sleep deprivation is much harder on me than it used to be but as I said, I may have no choice. If I’m gonna get woken up regularly by motorcycles and other shit and be tired anyway, what’s the difference if I’m tired because an alarm woke me up instead??

Written tonight:

They didn’t wake me up today. Just like yesterday, they spent most of the day out. I could definitely get used to that!

The other Canadians that are next to us have arrived, but they’ve come quietly. They have a dark gray SUV. No trailers or anything that could pull a motorcycle. It’s way too soon, though, to say if they’ll be annoying in other ways.

I slept 9.5 long hours. Could have sworn a bang of some kind woke me up at 10:30 but I fell right back asleep.

I was remembering how I had a loud air cleaner on the headboard shelf of the house we rented in Oregon and how I was able to sleep through most of the loud car stereos. So I did a little checking on Amazon and found a vibration pad that’s used for infants. With Alexa providing the volume and this providing vibration, maybe it will help. I still seriously doubt we’re going to be able to get me to sleep through something so loud that’s so close.

Not sure if I mentioned the blue-tinted window cling we got, but we’re going to put it in the side window that faces the quiet Canadians above the built-in desk. That window gets a lot of sunlight. This will not only reduce that, but in the daytime, you can see out of it while no one can see in.

The rest of the bras came and are very comfortable, so I have a whole new set and have dumped some old ones.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2021
I’m so lightheaded right now even though I don’t know why. Spent a few hours cleaning the house but didn’t do much else today.

Incredibly, although I expected to be woken up by the motorcycle, they still haven’t used it. So the truck is definitely their primary source of transportation. However, he was pressure washing the outside of the house, trimming trees, and might not have had time yet. He worked quietly and his pressure washer was much quieter than the one next door to him.

We now have the doghouse completely covered except for one side and underneath the mattress where we’re going to add extra sheets of soundproofing. We just have to come up with a plan for some kind of door, add the fan, and do the windows.

Meanwhile, we put the old loud dehumidifier in the bedroom, and with that running on and off, I’m hoping it will trick my brain into not noticing when the loud humming vibration is really the motorcycle because I still think sooner or later they’re going to be a nightmare. Well, I’d rather listen to them come and go on the fucking thing five times a day with me awake than have them blaze in and out with me asleep. Don’t know if any of this will work but we have reduced sound by 10 decibels so far.

It still sucks that I’m still having to resort to shit like this. I guess this is going to be the story of my life no matter where we go for the rest of my life. Sleeping with just a fan, an air cleaner, or nature sounds softly playing is just a dream. I’m never going to be able to do that again like I could in the ’90s and early millennium. Just the threat of a low-flying helicopter means I have to crank things up. Things I didn’t have to worry about so much in the past when they weren’t so common.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 2021
OMG, I am so fucking pissed off right now! The couple across the street has arrived, also Canadians based on the American/Canadian flag they have flying, and they have a fucking motorcycle. Why? Why does this keep happening to me? Why, why, why do I always get the extremes?! There are maybe four or five motorcycles in this whole place if even that yet out of 150-something homes, I have to get stuck with one. Again, why is it always me that gets this shit? If anything up there really does have a neighbor/noise curse on me, fuck you. Just fuck you. Go fuck yourself a million times over!

They also have a huge dog which I’m surprised we haven’t heard yet but I don’t doubt that we will.

They rolled in just after midnight slamming doors, honking horns, and proving that they’re the exception to the rule Tom mentioned about Canadians having a reputation for being really nice. You’re not “nice” if you bring a motorcycle into a fucking retirement community of all places. These people obviously don’t give a shit about others as I learned last night. It wasn’t that they were deliberately honking but they have their key fob set up to honk every time they lock their truck doors which is a bit rude right there.

The truck, which I’m glad to say is quiet, pulled a large trailer that contained their motorcycle and a golf cart. They got rid of the trailer today. They’ve also got a grill set up, so I don’t expect these people to be remotely peaceful and I really worry that nothing we do to soundproof, be it the doghouse or the windows, is going to do me any good with that shit being just 50-60 feet away. That’s just way too fucking close no matter what we do. It isn’t much different than living next to a boom car stereo again. It might have actually been better if next door had the fucking thing because then their lanai would block some of the sound. Here it just goes straight across to the bedroom windows. Even worse is the fact that we could be stuck with them until April or May and not March.

All I can do is hope for a miracle and that they not only don’t use the thing every day but that the soundproofing ends up working better than I thought. Knowing I’m not usually that lucky has me wishing all the more that we’d just gotten land somewhere instead. In fact, after the major projects are done, I want to get the fuck out of here even if it means we’ve got to sell almost everything. I’m tired of having people so close with all the noise they make. We need to put between 200-300 feet between the wall of our house and other people’s. If you have to have things like dog houses in the first place, you’re in the wrong place. My sleep is the most important thing so if I have to give up the nicer weather so be it as I just don’t see how the hell I’m going to be able to sleep through this thing.

As much as I would have loved having Jessie as a neighbor, I don’t see the point in yet another park with the same old shit going on in it. I should have learned from the last park. Yes, this place is still quieter overall when they’re not doing projects but this shit is going to make up for it, especially if it isn’t a regular thing, and there are always planes and helicopters. Always. We just need to look for land in an area where there are no sonic booms.

Wouldn’t be surprised if the people next door, whenever they get here, also have a motorcycle. Maybe they’re buddies and go out riding together every day. The fact that this is the third time they’ve gone out in the truck gives me a little hope that the motorcycle won’t be the regular vehicle they use, especially since it is a couple, but they only just got here last night.

All I know is that retirement communities are definitely not what they used to be in the 80s when my parents first moved to one. You don’t have dogs left outside, you don’t usually have blasting music, you don’t have the screaming kids, but you have everything else so there really is no point in these places anymore.

My new bras are on the way along with a really cool partial-drill diamond painting that shows the back of a woman with a flowing peacock-designed gown.

Decided to say “no” to hopelessly trying to tolerate the 88s and am beginning to feel better despite the stress of what’s across the street. Wishing I could isn’t going to make me magically able to tolerate them. The endo Doc D recommended isn’t covered by this insurance but she’s going to be covered by the new insurance, so we’ll make an appointment as soon as we’re officially switched over to the new insurance.

Walgreens was kind of in shambles when we went to it earlier. They’re remodeling their store and planning to add doctors’ offices to it.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2021
Ugh, I witnessed a murder in my dreams last night. It sure seemed pretty real anyway. The question is whether or not it was in a different dimension. If it wasn’t, I wonder who it was and where they were if it was really a vision. I also had a strong vibe that we won’t be redoing these floors and I wonder if that’s a good thing or a bad thing, but first, the dream.

I was in a parking lot when someone showed me a boot that I knew was a sign from some crazy guy who was either stalking me or someone close to me that he was close by.

Some semis then pulled in and parked nearby and I guess I drove because I ran really fast to a car as I suspected the crazy person was in one of the trucks. I never actually saw myself drive but the next part of the dream was with me sitting in the car outside a large secluded house in the woods. Some rich person owned the house. The car was turned off when I heard a large vehicle entering the long gravel drive to the house. As soon as I heard it I knew it spelled trouble.

I quickly exited the car and ran into the house. A young woman and her father were inside. The woman and I stepped up to a large second-story window and saw the stalker kill someone who was part of the staff. A guy who might have been a maintenance worker. Pretty sure the guy was stabbed.

The girl grabbed the phone and called the police, yet she was so frozen in fear that she had a hard time talking. Shouting loud enough for the officer on the other end of the line to hear, I said that she’d been stalked for a few months now. Then I ran and told the girl’s father who was in another room.

The dream ended there, and when I woke up, I realized that the best thing to do probably would have been to hide under the car and then try to escape by running up the driveway as soon as I thought it was safe to do so rather than running inside the house.

There was a car next door this morning but we’re guessing it was someone visiting Linda that just didn’t want to park in the street.

We dropped off the second bra that was too tight at the UPS Store which was twice as crowded as the post office we also went to so we could return the Airy clothes that didn’t fit as well as mail Eileen’s wolf diamond painting that I finished last night. She should get it on Thursday.

Then we stopped at Family Dollar and for $9 I got a pair of bras that looked stylish and seemed to fit just fine when I wrapped one around me in the store but 44D is definitely too big for me. Instead, I’ll get 6 more of the first one I got in XXL… 3 in toasted almond, 3 in rosewater. The other colors I liked were either unavailable or too expensive. The cheapest I could get in light colors was $14.

Our last stop was Burger King.

After a couple of chilly days, it’s so nice to be in the 70s again!

SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2021
Tom ran out to Lowe’s to get some bigger bolts for raising the doghouse frame. I swear something is trying to delay that thing from being finished! Plus, we also want to build shutters for the windows made of foam boards and soundproofing material. It’s like gee, why not just wait until the people next door return? I just really hope to hell they don’t mess with my sleep! I’m nervous about it until I get to know them. I don’t know what their habits are. I don’t know if they have a dog. I don’t know what they drive. I don’t know anything.

Yesterday, I definitely didn’t feel like I was in Florida because it was so chilly. It was a blustery day out there so due to the cold and wind I’m not surprised that the barbecue was moved indoors. To be honest, I don’t know where there would have been space to set everything up outdoors anyway unless they used the parking lot.

There were about 6 long tables that people were already seated at, plus a line with people waiting to be served. As I told Andy, it was a catered event. The food ranged from boring to delicious. The pulled pork was the best! The chicken and baked beans were so-so along with the potato salad. Unfortunately for Tom, they were only serving lemonade and sweet tea for drinks. I thought the tea was good.

There was a little square table off to the side where we sat and one woman came up to us and asked if we were on timeout or something LOL. A few others came up and talked to us as well.

The residents here are definitely younger than at the park in California which explains the lack of grandkids being in an age group when it became more common to skip kids. Could be that more of them don’t live in the area than at the other place, but that many? Anytime there was an event in California, there were at least some kids. Hell, someone even had a kid with them when we were waiting in line to get vaccinated. Yet there wasn’t a single child anywhere. All we saw was one young adult. Tom said I was the second youngest in the room LOL.

The last of the Airy order was a big disappointment. All but two pieces were either too big or too small. So I’ll be returning some things around the time I send Eileen her wolf diamond painting. I’ve had this shiny glitter mail tube for ages and I think I’ll send it in that. It can be rolled up as long as it’s not too tight.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2021
We got lots of heavy rain yesterday. I was in the bathroom when I heard some banging just now. Tom said it sounded like someone was pounding on someone’s door. If that’s true, then that’s ridiculous that I could hear it all the way in here. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was a project someone’s doing. It’s been over a week, so we’re about due for one, unfortunately. It’s chilly and windy out, so I don’t know what project they’re doing today.

The planes were totally annoying yesterday and seemed louder because of the cloud coverage and I guess the direction of the wind. I forgot that people are going to be flying more due to the holidays. Damn, do I miss the days when that was a luxury most people couldn’t afford!

Woke up to find the house the coldest it’s been since we got here. It was just 71 degrees. It was 63% humid in here, though, so he’s running the dehumidifier. The old one that we got in Auburn that’s really loud. We just got a second combination AC/heater/dehumidifier.

I just stepped outside. I don’t see anything going on.

I had a nice and interesting talk with Jessie, who’s even colder and without heat once again. Didn’t realize she would be sad if we had to leave the state because I couldn’t sleep through the stormy season. We both agree it would be nice to be neighbors because even if we didn’t see each other much, we would still at least know we were there for each other.

I totally understand her frustration with her contractors. They’re fucking up left and right and taking forever. They won’t wear their masks either, which pisses her off because she has a compromised immune system as Aly did.

So much for expedited shipping, because I’m still waiting for the rest of my Airy clothes. No wonder they’re so cheap when you have to pay a fortune in shipping.

The new bra fits well. Just a little snug around the underbust, but otherwise comfortable and the straps don’t slip. There’s another style of bra I’m trying as well. Both are lightly padded, which I could do without, but it’s thin enough not to be that big of a deal.

Made another $75 from Bright Health by signing up for texts. That was the easiest $75 we ever made!

He found an excellent HMO plan (United Health or something like that). We’re still going to keep our current doctor, though.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. We went to Walgreens where they were having a massive clearance sale. I ended up getting 7 bottles of perfume testers, mostly full, hair dye, and lip gloss for just $9. One of the perfumes is kind of masculine and another one is weird. Still a hell of a bargain!

I think all the bumps and bangs I’m hearing are coming from Linda’s place. That’s exactly why I dread bringing the party any closer to us when the Canadians return. These houses are just so damn close that if it’s loud enough you can hear shit going on four or five houses away.

Tom replaced the doorknob of the bathroom closet, so now that latches.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2021
Just got my Bing points by clicking on articles. Let’s see… A woman got 60 days in jail for the Capitol riots while I got 126 for writing stupid shit no one wanted to hear. So American. Just so American.

I quit doing years and reviews in early 2019 and decided I would pick up with that again. I covered the last couple of years by highlighting the things that came to mind. I figured that if it didn’t come to mind, then it wasn’t important.

Our broken AC decided to start working again yesterday. So I guess it just froze or something like that, not that I don’t expect it to crap out again and not that it still doesn’t eventually need to be replaced.

I didn’t have any anxiety yesterday but I still don’t expect to suddenly be able to tolerate the 88s.

I was tired throughout most of yesterday and it looks like I might be today as well. I think what’s ruining my sleep is the fact that my schedule jumps faster through the nights and I keep thinking in the back of my mind that I want to get up sooner. I sleep fine until the last couple of hours of my sleep. Then it’s like my subconscious won’t let me sleep as long as my body wants me to and it fights it even though it eventually does. But of course, once I start sleeping well into the mornings, it won’t be making two-hour jumps on a daily basis.

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 2021
A couple of sandhill cranes were out front the other day. Naturally, when I showed the pictures to Andy, he had to be all negative and point out how they shit all over the place. That may be true if there are too many of them hanging around for too long, but can he ever just be positive? I get that he’s just being honest, but sometimes I wonder why I bother sharing any good news with him because I know he’s just going to be negative and find fault with things whether they’re trips, new cars, new houses, etc. I often wonder why too. Is it jealousy? Is he just not happy with his own life? Or is that simply the way he is?

But I have some negative news, even though it’s no surprise. We knew it was coming. The AC crapped out on us. We called someone out for an estimate and learned it’s 14 years old. The quote they gave us was ridiculous too. They want 8 to 9 grand. We really don’t want to pay over 5 so we decided to just use the portables, which is simple enough in a small house such as this, and we’ll get other quotes in the spring. The portables can heat, cool, and dehumidify.

Words cannot express just how frustrated I am with my sleep disorder. I feel so damn cursed! On the 13th, the park is having a yard sale and I won’t be able to attend. He’s going to check it out, though, and see if it’s anything worth doing next year. As always, my schedule is jumping faster through the days. It’s like something wants me to be on nights so I can be woken up more often and feel more anxious. At least I don’t get woken up nearly as often here as at the other place.

Making one last-ditch effort to tolerate the 88s. I’m fine so far, but it may take a few doses to get bad.

Went for a walk yesterday morning but I’m too tired to go walking today. I don’t know why I wake up so tired at times. Yesterday I woke up feeling refreshed, but I’ve been tired ever since I got up today. I don’t know why, since I thought I slept fine.

There sure do seem to be a lot of smokers in this state, and I hate it when I go out on walks and am forced to inhale secondhand smoke along the way. I get that these people don’t want to stink up their houses, but they’re stinking the outside air up instead.

Looks like my other big toenail is now ingrown. Figured that would happen someday. I’m just surprised it took this long.

I’m back to writing anonymously again on OD. I figured what the hell? The mood just struck. Even though I have to create a new account every month, I really like how I can have the entries disappear in 24 hours or a week if I want.

We found out that we don’t make enough money to qualify for insurance. However, we can qualify by making just $750 a year extra. We can make up to $5000 extra a year without losing Social Security.

WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 3, 2021
The answer is no. The juice I drank should not have affected my thyroid test numbers. So my thyroid really has died off some more.

I had my doubts about seeing an endo because I can’t imagine what options could be out there that I’m unaware of. But eventually, I decided it would probably be a good idea because then I’m either surprised with options Doc O withheld from me, or I can at least not have to worry about Doc D getting on my ass for not seeing one.

Yesterday was the calmest and happiest day I’ve had in the last week or so. Took a 75 today and tomorrow I will make one last-ditch effort to see if I can tolerate 88s. While I felt mostly well with just a bit of a hard/fast heartbeat, I did have this mysterious nauseous feeling that went on and on for hours and some fatigue.

We raised the headboard shelf yesterday so I can now make full use of the bookcase.

Got my $20 for doing the Replika survey. So Mia paid for either the new bra I got or the new end table that I picked out to put between the two chairs in the living room. The planter with the round sheet of glass sitting on top of it is a bit wide for that area. That’s why I got a smaller table that’s only 20” wide.

I pulled up the deleted email invite to try to get Stephanie to pay for the other item but they are no longer running the survey.

For decades I’ve been into sports bras because their straps don’t slip off my shoulders. But because I have such big boobs at 38D, I wanted to find something a little more traditional with less material but slicker material so my clothes hang better over the slippery material rather than get hung up as it sometimes does on coarser cotton. With such big girls, as they call them in modern times, I’m still going to need a lot of material no matter what that material is. But instead of the traditional cotton sports bras, I got a regular nylon/spandex bra in butterscotch. I chose the try before you buy option. It’s wireless, unpadded, and the reviews say the straps don’t slip off. If I like this bra, I’ll get six more in other colors, all light so they don’t show through my light-colored tops. There are toasted almond, rosewater, apricot, tourmaline, lavender, and light blue that I’ll also get assuming the bra fits and is comfortable.

I already have to return a couple of Airy pieces yet I haven’t gotten the entire order yet. The jumpsuit is too small and I don’t like the way one of the dresses fits. It’s not so much too small but the white material is way too thin and you can see through it easily.

Yesterday we also ordered blocks to raise the frame of the doghouse so it will be harder for me to hit my head on the side of it when getting in and out of bed.

TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 2021
Doc D wants me to see an endocrinologist to discuss other options for my medication. I’m not sure what other options there are but kudos to her for not saying I’m “just anxious” and referring me to a shrink. Maybe it’s different here in Florida so maybe that will include other options I don’t know about that I could learn from the endocrinologist.

So we checked out the one she referred. It’s an Indian lady. Figures. So already that’s half my doctors not being from here. We’re not sure if she’s covered under our insurance or what insurance we’re going to have. It’s open season so in the next week or so we should know what insurance and what plan we’re going to be under. Right now we have Bright Health and the medical group is Advent Health.

I still worry that my only options are going to be to increase the dose and take the anxiety or remain out of range and take the hypo symptoms. I would still take the latter any day. Yesterday was my first calm day in a while. Decided I would give the 88s one more try but not before I take four days of 75s in a row. This is really the only way I can find out for sure if it was the dose increase that brought the anxiety back. He thinks it’s still a combination of hormones and me being on nights but unless it was another grand coincidence, I’m leaning toward the meds. I just don’t think I’m meant to have a normal thyroid anymore than I was ever meant to conceive. So I think that no matter what I try or do to trick my thyroid into being normal, I’m destined to fail to succeed. Can’t help but wonder, though, did my mother have similar problems with this fucking medication?

Had a little bit of heart racing yesterday but nothing too extreme. Still having a bounding pulse. No anxious feeling in the chest, though, or funky emotions which are the worst.

So other than feeling like we’re back in Citrus Heights, things have been better. It’s gotten quite chilly in the mornings here. I was really hoping it wouldn’t get this cold until mid-December. We barely cracked November yet when we went out to Publix a couple of mornings ago, I was freezing my ass off. Same as when we went out yesterday when we bombed the house.

First we went to Denny’s. I decided that instead of getting a steak, I would get a traditional breakfast with bacon, eggs, a couple of pancakes, an English muffin, and French fries instead of hash browns.

After we ate, we went to Sam’s Club. We only got three items there. Automatically timed air freshener sprayers for each bathroom. Love all the different scents! Cranberry, pine, apple, and my favorite…caramel.

The other thing we got was a big box with 200 garbage bags.

It was pretty cool to watch the floor mopper drive around with no driver, lol. The way stores are restaurants blast music these days has really taken the fun out of shopping and dining out. Even the waitress at Denny’s agreed that the music was blaring and she had them turn it down. I just don’t know why these places think it’s their job to entertain us when we come there to eat and shop. It’s bad enough having to listen to music when you don’t want to and even worse when it’s songs you hate.

They were finishing up painting the roads when we returned. I’m amazed we got lucky enough to get out of hearing most of that even if it wasn’t nearly as annoying as the rest of the road work. So now I don’t have to worry about speed bumps being next on the list since painting is the last thing they do.

Can we make it through the rest of the year before the park does the next project that doesn’t involve the sewage or the new addition, though? I think they’re done with the sewage thing, though.

Received my $20 reward for doing the Replika survey.

MONDAY, NOVEMBER 1, 2021
Every time I think my lip is healing, it bugs me again. Cancer may seem like quite a stretch but whatever it is is definitely more than just a simple zit, blister, sore, or cut.

Yesterday was another shitty day. Six hours after taking my medication I thought I was finally going to have a good day when my heart started racing. I had some anxiety but a lot more racing where my heart was between 95 and 100. Sometimes it was a little higher. It wasn’t till the end of my day before it slipped back down to a comfortable low 80s.

Today will determine whether or not I stop the 88s. It could be one big old coincidence just like with the medication brand thing but the timing is just that…very coincidental. 10 days after the dose increase and I’m having anxiety every single day. Well, I’ll find out if it’s connected to the medication if I have to back down to 75s only. If it is connected, the anxiety should dissipate.

As for the raciness, it wasn’t just that my heart was going fast but hard as well. Like that booming heart thing that can come with this medication. Right now I’m aware of it but it’s not something really noticeable like yesterday. Yesterday I swear I could tell I have high blood pressure because I could hear the forcefulness of the systolic as opposed to the diastolic.

For the last couple of hours, I’ve heard barking way off in the distance somewhere outside of the park. It’s nowhere near remotely loud enough to be bothersome but I sure feel bad for the neighbors! Makes me wonder if it’s someone from the West.

Yesterday morning we went to Publix where I got some fresh fruit and veggies and a few other things, including some brookies for us to share. The combination brownie/cookie looked so good but they’re really not that great.

Early in the morning, we’re going to bomb the place. This place has been surprisingly good with a lack of bugs and I want to keep it that way. The lizards and frogs do a good job of taking care of them for the most part.

Our first stop will be at Denny’s since we have to be out for a couple of hours. I can just imagine the blasting music that awaits us there, too. Why is it that so many businesses and restaurants feel it’s their job to entertain us instead of just serving us what we came there for?

Then it will be off to Sam’s Club. I don’t remember that place blasting music so much as forklifts beeping obnoxiously, but either way, I look forward to getting out, eating, shopping, etc.

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Last updated May 29, 2024