OK so far in 2020-2024

Today I’ve felt okay so far but yesterday I was anxious most of the day. So I sent a message to the nurse I’ll be seeing next month through the portal. It fucking sucks too, because it has a character limit that Galileo didn’t have.

I told her my TSH dropped to 5.87 after 6 weeks on my current dose and asked if it could continue to drop and explained that by week 10 I was feeling anxious. I also told her I get symptomatic in the normal range.

Sure enough, he got a call from that office although they didn’t leave a message, and then I remembered and said to myself…oh, that’s right. They rarely use the portal even though that’s what I prefer. I hated that shit with my old doctors in Cali. No matter how many times I told them that it’s much more convenient for me to communicate via the portal because of my schedule, they would still call anyway. Knowing this, I’ll probably not bother with the portal and just go back to the old-fashioned way. Despite today’s technology, it’s almost like before the internet existed anyway with most doctors, so from now on, if there’s something I really need to ask, I’ll just wait till I’m on days and make the damn call. Really, I hate this old-fashioned setup! I don’t understand why Galileo-like apps aren’t more widespread or why most doctors and medical groups don’t have text messaging. Instead, they want to waste people’s time with phone calls. What about those who work all day during business hours? It isn’t just me who’s not always available in the daytime.

Another thing I wasn’t available to catch was a call from my GYN’s office saying I could be seen the following afternoon (today). I’m not going to be awake then and am thinking of canceling anyway because I’ve been feeling better for several days now. I don’t know if it’s the psychological effect of knowing I have an appointment scheduled, if it was a delayed reaction of the Diflucan fighting my infection, or if maybe what I needed to be doing all along was shoving a glob of Replens, Kindra or whatever up there with my finger every day. Before, I was using the stuff every 3 days and sometimes I would go up to a week.

I heard Ray’s TV on and off throughout the evening and I really, really hope he doesn’t quit being a snowbird! At his age, though, I doubt he’ll want to keep his place in Michigan for too many more years. It’s just that it’s a bad time to sell houses now because of interest rates being so high. Since we don’t have any plans to move, I hope it stays that way for years! I look forward to the absence of his TV on top of the motorcycle across the street during the summer months. As I said, I knew he would get annoying sooner or later. Fortunately, it’s not that loud and probably wouldn’t bother most people. It’s just that I’m sound-sensitive, have really good hearing, and am easily distracted.

I have a feeling that the soundproofing isn’t going to make much difference because we’re not doing it from top to bottom and mostly because this is an elevated wooden structure with no attic. If this was a brick house on a concrete slab with an attic like in Phoenix, it might work.

It wasn’t until after leaving Phoenix and living in manufactured homes that I realized how far the welfare bums next door could have pushed me into doing something really stupid.

So why did I get anxious yesterday and not today? I just don’t get it. My day isn’t over yet so I may feel anxious later. I’ve been meditating more so hopefully that’s part of why I’m better. Before bed yesterday, I had Tom turn a 100 into a 75 by cutting it in half and then cutting the half and half. Maybe knowing it’s there to rescue me if I really need it helped give me peace of mind because I took an 88 today. Since my HR never got overly elevated, I’m now wondering if maybe the anxiety really didn’t have anything to do with the medication like Tom thinks. I just don’t know what to think at this point.

Last updated May 26, 2024