You Will Only Regret Reading This in anticlimatic

  • May 30, 2024, 10:09 p.m.
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  • Public

I am just today emerging from the worst sickness I’ve experienced to date in my life. I will spare you the details, except that when I finally achieved sleep- this would be 72 hours after I started experiencing body aches, skin aches, a fever, and an inability to eat food- only managed by a delicate balancing act- one of two balancing acts, the other being the balance between “is my stomach in terrible pain because I’m about to vomit, and shouldn’t eat?” or “is my stomach in terrible pain because I’ve eaten 4 crackers and a cup of apple sauce since Monday?”- (the answer? Usually the first one) the other balancing act being how cold can I endure my body to be, so that my head feels even slightly less like it’s resting in a hot iron skillet when I try to lay down to sleep. The more I would expose my body, laying with just a sheet or nothing at all, the more I’d freeze overall- but the cooler my head would feel on the pillow. When I take a fever, it’s usually severe and passes quickly- like a thunderstorm. This was a dull linger that wasn’t strong enough even to blow me out at night, quite the contrary, and never relented. 72 hours in, I timed a vomit session endorphin release with a sleeping pill and a perfectly calibrated sheet-coverage level for optimal body to head temperature balance to finally crash. For two hours. Before waking up underwater in my own bed as though someone had dropped a bucket on me and my pillow, but as I was saying when I finally achieved sleep during those two hours I had this terrible fever dream that I was chained up inside of a coffin, like an escape artist but more like a prisoner, and I was projectile vomiting and thrashing about in this thing as it slowly filled with puke.


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