"WHEN LOVE'S A PARADOX" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

This crazy world simply scares me of loving you.
It’s weird but true.
What can I do?
Their nasty, scathing remarks are more than enough,
turning this already broken heart all black and blue.

“Why him?
Don’t you feel that your chances are slim?”
The light of my faith is growing dim.
Their mocking smiles remind me of something grim.

Their devilish laughter keeps ringing in my ears.
It’s more than painful, enough to have brought me to tears.
But still, I’d rather be alone - struggling against these fears,
no matter how badly I want you near.

“There are things in life that just can’t be.
Why is it so hard for you to see?”
Fine, let this love be just another sick, twisted joke -
the kind that gets any sane person choked.

This crazy world simply scares me of loving you.
Still, I can’t keep my gaze off of your beautiful eyes so blue.
What if these feelings stay true?
What do I (have to) do?

Should I feel any regrets?
Have I lost my only bet?
There are things that I (tend to) forget: “It is true that love needs be spoken,
but what if once again - it gets you heartbroken?”

Declaring love always means opening a Pandora’s box.
It cannot be returned, forever unlocked.
God, help me to find the best solution!
Never let me fall into another self-destruction!

This crazy world still scares me of loving you.
Should I stay or go?
What if these feelings continue to grow?
What if, despite the odds and our differences, I still love you so?

R.

(Jakarta, 15/10/2014 - 7:30 am)