Money anxiety in Attempting to journal

So I did it. I bit the dust and purchased a roadside assistance membership. I have wanted one for years, I am stuck driving shitty disposable vehicles and every winter I find myself in at least one bind. Usually battery related. What precipitated this at the beginning of summer? I am headed on a 6 hour road trip this coming weekend and we have been looking forward to this almost all year. We go to a summer camp as a family yearly and we are excited for the next camp almost as soon as the current one ends. However the last few months my van had decided to start randomly refusing to start about once a month. After a lot of struggle, and a lot of help from friends, I finally figured out it was the spark plugs and got them replaced. My issue is for the past year, I have felt like my van is running rough. Despite 3 mechanics looking at it and confirming the only issue they found was spark plugs. It’s 24 years old and I never wanted a vehicle that old, but it was my only option. My Dad used to tell me that after 10 years things start going on vehicle and i cant afford repairs, so I think it’s got my anxiety up. So with that happening, I have been worrying more about what I would do if anything happened on our way to camp. So tonight I borrowed money from what I save for homeschooling, found room in my budget to pay it back before September, and did it. But now I feel like a horrible person. I used money intended for something else, to pay for something I feel like I don’t need (only because I’ve gotten along without it thus far), that I have to pay back with money that I know I’m gonna wish I could keep in the cushion of my budget. I just keep telling myself that I do need this, that if something does happen I’m going to be very glad I have it. That even though it feels like I’ve just blown a bunch of money on something frivolous and stupid, it’s not frivolous and stupid, it’s smart, it’s planning ahead, it’s justified. Ugh!! I hate being poor!