Brain Freeze in Current Events

I should be doing a few practice questions right now, in my chem class, but the material is lost on me. The unit is on Acids and Bases. It’s my own fault that I am lost. We have a test on the unit in 1.5 weeks. I’ll get this sorted soon enough.

I finally finished the solubility test I had missed. I didn’t even finish it. My brain froze. Ironically, I handed in the lab for the unit and I aced it. Only lost two half marks for forgetting to label what were aqueous solutions in two of the questions. The test with the lowest marks gets thrown out at the end of the course. This will be that test which is a shame because it was a small and simple unit. I earned it though. This current unit could have been the one to toss out. It’s our biggest unit.

I thought I had messaged my physics teacher last night but I did not. I am too scared to look and see if I sent it to the whole class on teams in our channel. That’s a lot of shame to take. I have been so clumsy lately. My kombucha exploded in my fridge yesterday because I put it in the back where everything freezes. I’m dense. It was a lot to clean up when I got home from work. My roommate cannot simply pour anything without making a mess for me to clean up. I have kombucha all over my counter. It triggered my PTSD from the mess yesterday. Which I know she saw and ignored.

I have a test for a unit in physics tomorrow that I have not studied for a second. I still have another test to make up for. Nobody receives their tests back until they’re all graded. I’m holding everybody up. They get to look at them though. Just can’t take them home.

Between chem and physics, it’s seems that everything in nature is just trying to be at rest. To be in a perfect equilibrium with all of the forces acted on it. It feels like this is true in psychology as well. At least with my inner equilibrium. I feel a lot of outside forces and everything shuts down to try and stay in equilibrium. The blind spot in my psyche is self-sabotaging to keep me at rest. To keep me “safe.” Everything feels like a threat because of my inability to process stress.

I would leave early tonight if my teacher wasn’t offering to help me with one of my labs at the end of class. The link is broken.

It’s as though I am watching myself forget the material in real time. My brain shuts down. A brain freeze. It cannot think its way through anything. Can’t even start. Just a complete neurological collapse.

I want to schedule another therapy session for this Thursday. It’s going to get expensive. Can’t I just hit a reboot button?

There is just so much on my plate. Battling with my school life, work life, and home life. Battling with my mental and physical health. I’m privileged enough to have the resources to get a naturopath and therapist on my side. Just need some time. Every time I say that, something happens which gives me time. Like a cold, or flu. Or I drop to part-time hours. Then I waste the time.

Anyway, I think we are about to go over the questions.