here and now - right here and right now in These titles mean nothing.

It’s the middle of the night and I feel good.

A link to Waylon if you want, if it works for you.

I made a pot of weak coffee and I’m drinking the second pint glass of it with a tablespoon of Nestle’s non sugar cocoa mix. 3 tablespoons are 70 calories and 13 grams of carbohydrates, so a third of it is 23.333333 calories and 4.33333333 grams of carbohydrates. Not a bad thing in the middle of the night… forget about the cafffiene.

As I write this I have that nutty Stanford prof lecturing me on eating but I’m going to turn him off and replace him with a W. Jennings album. Just a minute........

.... back now. Waylon will be here after I listen to an ad for Tammy Baldwin’s opponent for the U.S. Senate. Baldwin better win. I don’t know if I’ll send her any money but for sure her opponent has a pile of bucks. But there’s no way I can effect the outcome of any election. That hurts and it’s true and it’s not true.. both at the same time. Tonight is not the night to make a decision. I will vote and that will almost have to be enough.

I’ve always been crazy but it’s kept me from going insane.
Waylon’s been with me for a long time.

====

Writing group met yesterday and it was pretty ok. No one told me to shut up. I tried to be under control but wow I like to talk and sometimes I just talk. Part of my talking is that I think I have things to say ------ you know? I gotta have respect for other people though. And I am trying. I want to try. Not quite the same thing are they?

So.

Floyd and I are continuing our relationship. Ah, motherhood.... is such a thing. God knew what she was doing when she invented mammals. Also when she invented spell check that automatically changed the E I put in mammals into an A. Twice in a row.

We had seven people at the writers group. Not a BIG crowd but better than the three we had last time. Last time no one had called to remind people of the event and the door was locked so actually maybe getting three people was a triumph. This month I called people - well answering machines but still - and someone else arranged for the door to be unlocked.

The writing group is not a big thing for me but it turns out it’s about the only thing I do anymore. The only place I go, the only thing I prepare for, the only thing I drive to- well except for going to town to buy groceries. Groceries are a necessity so they don’t count.

The drive to the writers group town is a long part of the way I used to go with my brother when he went to chemo and I remember those trips. I remember the scenery. I remember the talks. I wish I could still talk to him. I am grateful for having had those trips, for having had those conversations.

We had rain today. Welcome rain. An inch and a half. It might have come a bit too quickly but gosh you gotta take what you get. Jim has all his oats and alfalfa planted and miracle of miracles -after feeding Floyd and Pink and before I left for writers group, he and I planted the three rose bushes that I had gotten to replace the ones uprooted in the barn project. I had started the holes yesterday and he had made them bigger and we put Harrison’s yellow, Terese Bugnet and Hansa in a row by the big upright railroad ties on the northwest corner of the barn.

The barn gives us pleasure. We worried about it for years and tried to decide what to do about it and last year things just came together and we found a barn fixed who had been a friend of my brother’s who came with his crew or Waukonians and did a lovely job of fixing it. It looks like a toy now - so prettily red-sided and blue-roofed

Everybody is looking for some way and I”ve been looking for some way out. All I”ve got is a job I don’t like and a woman who doesn’t understand.
Drinking and dreaming and knowing there’s no way out.

Ah, Waylon. I’m sympathetic.

Life is this compromise betwee

n what we want and what we can have. We have to look up sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes.

Someone at the writers group mentioned they had had a book printed and a few months ago I handed them a twenty dollar bill and asked if I could have a copy. (I have a subset of my book collection of books by people I know) Well, month have gone by and I haven’t gotten the book. But yesterday the writer said they were having a hard time getting more books printed. guess I should have prefaced my request by asking if they had copies available. I had assumed anyone who self published would have a box of books under their kitchen table. Ooh well. Live and learn, as they say.

God Waylon again.
Some say they ran away together. Some say…

Everytime he talks about her, you can see the fire in his eyes. I would walk to hell on Sundays to keep my Rose in paradise. It even grows in wintertime even in the dark of night.

And here’s springtime in my country from the gravel road.

There’s a story to this picture. If you’d like to know it, let me know.

Last updated April 17, 2024