ADHD, Take off the training wheels in Bittersweet

Ill preface this with I LOVE my Adderall. It really makes a massive difference in my life. It keeps me focused and not all over the place. I can concentrate. I have more energy and im less likely to eat the entire kitchen.

Im clean of my adderall for 4 days now. 4 days. Oh my lord. Im going to not take it tomorrow and will probably take it on Monday because payroll.
I feel like it stops working after a bit. My doctor said you get used to it and metabolize it faster. Which means over time having to take more and more dosage. Im prescribed to take twice the amount I actually do most days. Some days I take the full dosage but I try not to. I dont want to take that much too. But when I first started taking it. It was so cool. I would get this dopamine rush and hyperfocus on some cleaning task haha.I get that less and less but over all im more stable.

Funny thing is clinical director is also on ADHD meds and decided this week to take a break. Its slow at work we can afford to be a bit wishy washy while we are starting to set up our new EHR.

Today im at the store and im like squirrels over everything . i didnt even think i was THAT bad. I thought it was FAIRLY controlled. Tony is like God you need to take your adderall. Hahaha. I bought a Lilac tree, a grape vine with flowers starting and I found a pink princess philo on clearance for 7 bucks. It was over watered and some of the leaves curled. Easy fix. Ill dry her out tomorrow and repot her and shes going to be golden. Pink Princesses variegate their leaves with pink and green when they get enough light :D
I figure the window where my Monstara is is going to be great. That fucker is putting out a new 18 plus inch leaf every week! Its a beastie.

I do know im less focused and im a bit shaky on my thoughts. The exhaustion is surreal. The phase out staring into space is something else. The baby shower is the first and I need to HUSTLE on this blanket. Im NEARLY there…

Today I made a beastie chicken soup with like 10 veggies in it. half a bag of cookies. No not a little one. Like 10 chocolate chip cookies… a bag of gummy bears, airheads. Two raspberry and butter sandwiches.

I also organized ALL of my clothes. I packed my entire suitcase full of winter wear and pulled my summer out.

I have a drawer of short sleeves-work. Short sleeves Not for work. Sleeveless. Long sleeves or inbetween weather and then one drawer entirely for my white lace shirts lmao. Yeah… I have a bunch!! One drawer for slacks and pants. An empty for my shorts and capris ( washing) a mostly empty for the sweater and some skirts I dont hang. I FOLDED all my panties. Normally i just toss them in their drawer. All my tank tops for undershirts/sleep are in one drawer. My leggings in one drawer with my under shorts ( i cant wear a skirt without) My jammie shirts and sexy shirts in another ( I have a shit ton of drawers in my dresser lmao)
I found a box and settled ALL my belts in the box.

It took two hours. I need to do my closet but I lost the dopamine haha.
i got RID of FOUR trashbags of clothes, and got a whole trashbag of garbage. I feel fairly good. Its still not clean by any means but my clothes doom pile is cleaned up!!

Birbies had a good training session. Basil let me pick him up and pet his neck AND ate apple from Tony while I was holding. Rosemary lets us pick her up if you corner her so that’s better. She didnt want apple. I built a new play yard for them with a few levels and toys on it. And a shower perch.
I worked on my blanket some.
took Co to work, Picked up Ch who has a MASSIVE hickey on his neck.. Oh my LAWD he is 14! We had another sex talk. Took A to her friend. Walmarted…

Suddenly I dont feel nearly like i sat on my ass all day lmao! I even went out in the pouring haily rain to feed the chickens and grabbed 6 eggs. There are more inside but I didnt want to go inside the coop and get them.
And of course. I broke my god damn filling. Thankfully it dosent hurt yet. Im being careful about eating since I broke it. I dont want that nerve to enflame and make me miserable. Although I did survive my long ass road trip with a broken tooth so there is that....

I didnt get to plant this weekend. I wanted to start the onions and garlic. But it threatened to snow so I moved ALL my herbs and veggie starts inside to deal with the cold. Monday it will be in the high 70s.

Yall My rings are getting loose. I havent lost any more weight but my rings are getting looser.... Thats cool. I may have to resize in a while.

Ok my cat is crawling in the grocery bags.. Im going to go save the bags from the stoned cat who had catnip and ate a bag of gummy bears himself… Im not joking. Chase is pissed he ate all his candy.