I Don't Want To Sign Up For Ello in poetry

I don’t wanna join another social network
I’m still in mourning for ICQ
I still see myspace in my nightmares
friendster is still at the back of my consciousness
I just figured out how facebook works
after like ten years of using it
I know it’s corrupted and broken
but don’t make me start over now
I cannot fathom learning yet another one
I declare all social networks now frozen in time
because facebook and twitter
are where all my stuff is

I don’t wanna join another social network
ello is the internet equivalent of Detroit
trying to give away abandoned houses
no one would ever want to live in to artists
no, you don’t have ads or anything now
but the moment you put up a public stock offering
is the moment you’re plastered with ads
like every other company on the internet ever
so let’s just give up and not try
we’ve put all this work in already
negotiating how to get the most
out of the devils we already know
I don’t want to do it again

I don’t wanna join another social network
I only dodged the linked-in bullet
because as a writer I’m unemployable
I started a Google Plus account once
put in the pictures and the names
the process felt like days
just in case the damn thing ever took off
when it didn’t
I felt like a schmuck
let’s all just give up together

let’s give up new social networks together
this is it
this is IT!
we’re already imbedded where we are
we already know who’ll listen to us whine
we already have our territories pissed upon
we already know how to catch up
on the people we were too cowardly
to ask out in high school
we know how to see that they’re aging gracefully
happy in happy situations
and going to them now with our regrets
would do nothing because they’re happy
we’d only make them worse
we know how to feel that way
we’re good
nothing more

I don’t wanna join another social network
they’ll all do roughly the same thing
like a giant boot full of past shames
stepping on our throats forever
but one boot is enough
going through all the hoops
just to have another way to access it
is too much

no mas
no mas
nolo contendre, compadre
this is it
whatever’s next I am too old for
and Christ
it is freeing

if being old means not having to
jump on the next popular social network
then I embrace getting old
you kids get off my lawn
I have all my photos there already
I don’t want to upload them all again