Be Kind, Rewind in Current Events

Nostalgia is a time when you knew your place.

My memory can take me right into a moment. It won’t just be pictures. I will remember the smells, the tastes, the sounds, and even my emotions. I will remember the thoughts I was having. I will temporarily forget everything I know after that moment. For better or for worse, I can relive a moment. My imagination can function the same way. That one is usually for the worse.

I am experiencing some nostalgia. It is taking me back eight years to when I first went plant-based. It was exciting and new. It was working out. I was very passionate about it. This crosses my mind at the right time as I now have to go back to that. Not to the diet. I never left it. I have to return to making everything myself so that I can control the ingredients. I have to restrict my diet even more. I feel pretty salty about it. I want to pretend that the foods I have to quit aren’t harming me. I can’t. I clearly have some serious deficiencies.

The nostalgia makes me remember how I felt exploring new recipes. How I felt when I got lost in travel vlogs. Before I explored the rabbit hole. The rabbit hole is dark and full of terrors. It is integrated into my consciousness now. Forever changed. Forever stained. Things don’t get to be simple and light anymore. I digress. I get to explore something new. I need to have faith in myself. I survived everything thus far. I’m adaptable, in the end.

I can relate to the character, Cipher, from The Matrix. He wants to take the blue pill and forget everything so that he can just enjoy his life. If only I could Alt Ctrl Delete some memories and knowledge.

The meditation journey is to bring oneself back to the pure state of consciousness one had as an infant. Our memories and imagination make us heavy and dense. Our superpower is responsibility. That potential energy. We are weapons of mass creation but we are soul-trapped and spiritualizing our own prison. We are sleepwalking through it all.

I started using a bidet. It is just what the doctor ordered. Literally, both of my doctors recommended it. I had issues. Not only am I a sensitive asshole, I have a sensitive asshole. Those issues are not issues anymore. I’m so relieved. Also, how did I go this long without it? It’s so much better.

Anyway, back to my physics homework. I’m trying to calculate the acceleration of my downward spiral.