Memoir rough draft my sentence at YWCA in Aftermath

I liked looking at the birds and I sat outside the courtyard felt like jail, at least in the sense of privacy I’m this instance. The building towered over me on all four sides. With people’s apartment windows fqcing toward the courtyard. I never saw anyone peek out really but the energy that people were was always there. As well as the spirits of those who had passed tragically in this building. So preventable and horrible

My apartment was on the 2nd floor at the end of the hall. The last apartment under the lobby and hang out smoking areas, and beside the native side it was interptted by a concrete block for people to sit and talk than continued a few floors smaller than my building

I was told that the apartment beside me used to live a woman who one night took some angel dust and took her clothes off. Went downstairs to the lobby to the office part took the huge fax printer combo machine and threw it across the room before going upstairs back And ending her life.

I was more sad than scared about that situation spiritualy. And knew how she felt in some ways as I had done similar things in moments of desperation pain and isolation misery, these buildings would turn even any “normal healthy” person to insanity.

Not just from the outside but from the inside was dangerous. Dangerous because it was cold. People were vicious and two faced to each other. Cliques only being very loose or none at all really except loose super ficial friends

The complex everyone were split up by race In several ways.

The “cultural revitalization size” for those who were Native and laterally we all split as well. Living five minutes away from the downtown square dundas square and middle of the city tourist area. In a building that was originally supposed to be built as a condo. Went through the deal. So I guess it was was lucky the location and how it looked. As those features were not something most ywca buildings had

Walkable distance for everything mostly. Except some damnt things

Always was busy the second you hit the lobby was the forced entryway. As in the only accepted way unless you wanted to try to see if one of the doors was jimmied or the alarm was off. Either way Id go that way. So anxious not wanting them to tip off so that they wouldn’t lock it. It was for our safety I was told but was it really?

I mean forcing dogs kids enemies past lovers,people drunk,on drugs, it was actually more dangerous

But privacy was of no concern to the ywca. The name being pissed on the wall via a large sign with their name to announce their morality and goodness humble bragging as well as virtue signalling

The real safety would be removing that sign completely as many of us were escaping abusers traffickers some of us possibly the law

As a Virgo I could go on and on but my perceptions made sense. But not to them it was all about the dollar especially when co vid hit.

I had to flee the building, and I only had three months before I may have died.

I spent 11 years in these buildings. Always wishing someone would save me. Trying to find a way out but no one would help me. I felt beaten down.