Under pressure in Riverdale

Under pressure

So I had a mini nervous breakdown.

Wasn’t pretty but it’s kind of expected. I’ve been under a lot of pressure with the new job, dealing with my teeth pain, going to the dentist and anticipating getting the teeth extracted and dealing with my crazy ex that lives next door.

It’s so much to handle and I thought I could handle it all but I cracked.

I was spending too much time around others being social avoiding being lonely and trying to numb the anxiety and pain that everyone around me just drained me really not lift me up and inspire me. It just ended up being depressing hanging around ppl who are in worst places than I am right now and knowing I have to hide how I truely feel out of judgemental and lack of real intimacy

I just wasn’t ready to be so social. I needed time alone. And I still haven’t gotten too much of it because I was w my mom all yesterday pretty much and now it’s thanksgiving so I have to go there in a few hours.

But after that I will be ok because at least I’ll have more positive contact w people and than I won’t have too much time to be alone not doing too much because everything is closed.

My grandma is bringing my a cherry pie she said “just for me” so cute. I feel loved. =)

But yeah I can’t wait to get into the swing of things again. I feel much better when I am busy have things to do. My energy levels are pretty good lately and my attitude is forward moving and positive.

Breakdowns and stuff hardly phase me anymore much because I know what to expect if I go to the hospital.

But it still sucks it went that far I guess.

But what can you do? With my life and who I am I have no time for shame or embarrassment over my actions and things because there is none in them. I am someone who is in pain and dealing with a considerable amount of stress pain on my own mostly. And that is something to be proud of rather than Ashamed ESP if I fall back. It’s inevitable.

Anyways.

Happy Thanksgivng for all who celebrate it or happy weekend!