3 years ago today... in Riverdale

Three years ago today…

3 years ago today I almost lost my life

And today for work training the training required me to walk right by the scene of the crime

I had a panic attack I had to leave.

I had no idea we were even going anywhere today

I knew this day was coming and I thought I could be okay

But than there is was right in my face on the very day three years ago it happened

It really opens up the wound more

I still have so many questions about the man who almost murdered me

Where is he now?

What happened to his last victim?

Will I ever get justice?

How to I begin the process of some closure and resolution on my own terms

The whole incident changed my world

I don’t know really how I feel about it all still

I’m still very confused lost

But I do knows deep down I’m glad I was given a chance to live

Because what came after it all was hard and I had to make so many changes in my life

I did truly become reborn

I died inside spiritually

My trust in people closest to me were shattered

But it opened my eyes to what was really going on in my life

After years of repression deception lies cover ups and me running away from what I never knew I had to

I became wiser stronger and less naive

But I also became lonelier more scared and pessimistic about the world and people around me

What happened to me that night was meant to happen

Some people learn from others some people learn from experience

Some people don’t endure the hard knocks to grow

And some do

I did

I am stubborn sometimes

And I had to ensure something so terrifying to truly start on a new path

I don’t believe there was anything that could have been done to prevent what happened that night

I know this because of everything that happened afterwards

It was painful scary and confusing Nd I can’t say that it’s still not I still don’t fully comprehend it all and know exactly why

I do believe that there is more to this story and I will have to have a bit of patience and faith in god and the universe to know what

It took me a year to uncover the shocking bit about the second woman on the news

So I know that it will all come in good time.

But all I know as much as that man tried to destroy me and take my life he could not

It was never his to take

I will never allow if I can help it for someone to extinguish my flame my fire my passion for life and the people and things in it

I fought for my life and won

I owe it to myself to enjoy my life and embrace it and not let that tortured soul steal it away