Who were they? in 2020s

I thought about the Andy possibility some more when it comes to the narcissistic psychopath material that was anonymously sent to me on the old version of MD back in 2013. I started having some doubts because he just wasn’t a reader. The only thing he would read were celebrity magazines.

Maliheh wasn’t a reader either. At least that’s what she told me.

So I asked myself who would read those kinds of books and Molly’s mother was the first one to pop into mine. I thought of Eileen, but I can’t believe she would do anything so vicious like that. I can’t believe Aly would have either. She was a reader, but not that kind of stuff. She usually read romance. A distant relative? Maybe but doubtful.

I also can’t believe it was a complete stranger. It really seemed like somebody I either knew in person or at least for a while somewhere online because it was just too personal. Something that gave off a sense of deep-seated rage directed at me personally, stemming from some kind of past interaction. The way they highlight the subjects of forgiveness and lying tells me this.

The forgiveness thing doesn’t make sense when it comes to Molly’s mother. It makes the most sense when it comes to Andy who always thought, and still does, that everybody’s lying to him about everything. But I’ve never known him to read novels or self-help books or things like that. Can’t picture him reading a book about narcissistic psychopaths. But then I certainly wasn’t with him twenty-four-seven to see everything he did in life.

It’s a mystery I’ll always ponder because whoever they were did not want me to know who they were. So that right there makes me think even more that it had to be someone I knew.

I started feeling really warm and lightheaded and a bit shaky and then I got stomach cramps like I was gonna have the runs but I never did. Then I felt chilled and now I’m warm again even though it’s only 75° in here. Not sure what that was about. Kind of craving orange juice all of a sudden.

Still dealing with the battle of fatigue. My sleep is all screwy again. I was up for 18 hours, got up 7 hours later, took my pill, and went back to bed for an hour and a half. Then I got up for an hour and then napped for another hour and a half.

Another attempt at siliconing an applicator up there, another bust. This hoo-ha just ain’t allowing anything in it other than a finger. So now those wonderful things called doctors who have never helped me a day in their lives or mine have wasted another $4. They made my ear worse, they never helped me with anxiety, they never helped with fatigue, so I don’t see why they would help down there.

I had a dream that we had more than one backyard and it was in sections. I was looking at a section of our yard that was off of a double-car garage. I don’t know why there wasn’t a driveway off of it and this yard instead but I studied the plastic fence surrounding the yard and saw gaps underneath in some spots and knew it wouldn’t be safe for Tinkerbella to be out there, not that we would ever let her outside in real life. Then I closed the garage door and realized that would make a perfect runaround for her.

Then the garage suddenly became a hotel room I was by myself in. I was gazing around the room at all the stuff in it and noticed the previous occupant left some clothes and shoes behind. The shoes were obviously too big for me and when I pulled on the skirt that was present, I thought it would be too small but it was actually slightly big on me. I thought of keeping it for myself and then I looked at the unmade beds and wondered if they screwed up and accidentally booked me in an occupied room. I put the security latch on the door so I would have some warning if someone was trying to get into the room.