I'm gunna miss him in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

Revised: 10/12/2014 6:06 p.m.

  • Dec. 26, 2005, 8 a.m.
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I’m gunna miss him - 12/27/2005

 <font color="#ffcc99">I WIll Love Again - Lara Fabian</font>

<font color="#ffcc99"><font face="Verdana" size="2">Did I ever tell you how you live in me Every waking moment, even in my dreams And if all this talk is crazy And you don't know what I mean Does it really matter Just as long as I believe [Chorus:] I will love again Though my heart is breaking, I will love again Stronger than before I will love again Even if it takes a lifetime to get over you Heaven only knows, I will love again People never tell you The way they truly feel I would die for you gladly If I knew it was for real So if all this talk sounds crazy And the words don't come out right Does it really matter If it gets me through this night [Chorus] If I'm true to myself, nobody else can take the place of you But I've got to move on, tell me what else can I do [Chorus] I will love again One day I know, I will love again You can't stop me from loving again, breathing again Feeling again I know, one day, I'll love again</font> </font>

<font color="#00ccff">Because I can’t find the Family Guy Soundtrack on the lyrics site, I’ve decided to stick up a song I’ve always adored, from a woman whose voice just blows me away.  Some of you may even know the song! :)</font>

<font color="#00ccff">It’s December 27, and there’s four days of 2005 left of the year.  I think I’ve really improved over the past year with writing in my diary, cos I figured, I’m only gunna be getting older, and I would really like to be able to read back on my life and how I’ve lived it up until that point.  Even these days I read back to an entry I wrote a year ago, to see exactly how different I was.  This time last year I remember was around the time I’d met Luke for the first time.  And looking back at it now, it’s amazing to think someone so beautiful existed for those 21 years of my life without me knowing them.  So yeah, Open Diary is very special to me, and if I can’t be myself here, where else can I be?  Well I figure that anyway.  So many of my OD friends are afraid of their friends reading their diary.  Sure, there’s certain people I wouldn’t want reading my diary as well, but I also know I’d get over it and they’d get over it, and they can deal with whatever I’ve written about them - good or bad.  It’s all been a part of my thoughts at some stage or another.</font>

<font color="#00ccff">So..the events of the past few days.  How busy I’ve been.  I worked all day Saturday, which was unreal - we sold 550 bags of ice in 4 hours - all these people coming in for last minute things they realise they need for Christmas.  Of course we ran out, and Australian Ice Distributors ran out of trucks, and didn’t have any going to the northside.  How pathetic is that?  On Christmas Eve!  Oh well.  I got through the day, and thank GOD 7:00pm came around cos I was bored out of my wits.  We’d done everything that needed to be done.  I had a 3 day weekend, with tonight being the end of my 3rd day, so it’s off to work again tomorrow, for 4 days, then it’s another 3 day weekend.  This time of year is great like that!  I hope I’m owed more time off cos I got 3 days off, but most people got 4, but I’ll soon find out.</font>

<font color="#00ccff">Saturday I got home from work, did some stuff I had to, and rang mum and dad to find out directions on how to get to my Aunty Katrina’s house in Toowoomba.  They gave me the address and I ended up going to </font><font color="#00ccff">www.whereis.com.au</font><font color="#00ccff"> to get the directions.  That site is absolutely awesome.  Not only does it give you precise directions, you can print out a map, and it shows you where to go.  I remembered it anyway, despite printing out the map, cos I left it at home once I took off anyway.  I grabbed mum and dad’s present, and took off to the farm.  I pulled into Milton IGA, which was actually my old workplace, but was called ‘Food For Less’ then, and they’ve replaced the whole store with this IGA store.  I always go to Mitlon IGA cos it’s open til midnight 7 days, and I get snacks for my long trip to the farm.  I mean it is around about a 240 kilometer trip.  Tell you what though, I was so tired having worked all day - I felt myself falling asleep at the wheel a few times, and me shaking my head vigourously and turning the music up real loud to try and keep myself awake.  I made it to Toowoomba and pulled into Clifford Gardens to rest myself and get some cash out for my weekend, should I need it, then continue on my way out to Millmerran.  Mum and dad knew I was coming, but would be in bed before I got there, so they left the door unlocked for me, not that they really have to lock it out there, being a farmhouse. I musta got into bed there around about 2am.  Dad and mum awoke me at 6am to go to church.  I said there was no way in hell I was going after only having 4 hours sleep, so they left without me.  Didn’t bother me.  I think I got up sohrtly after 8am anyway, cos it was getting hot, so I watched some TV.  My parents have Austar so there’s so many channels to choose from.  I opted for ‘Super Simpsons Sunday" and heard a car rev in the driveway.  That could be none other than my little brother Craig.  He came inside and I saw him for the first time since I think Easter?  Craig had thought ahead and asked mum to buy our nephews presents and say they were from him.  I hadn’t bought them anything - I just didn’t have the time or the money this year.  I’d spent so much on my workmates, I gotta be real careful this year, I’m spending too much already.  Mum and dad and Ma got home from church, and headed in to Toowoomba to my aunt’s place, and Craig took his car cos he wanted to come back earlier.  I said I’d drive in later cos I wanted to drive into Millmerran to surprise my Grandma for Christmas.  She was at a friend’s house, so mum gave me directions to that house, then I had to find her.  It’s amazing that every time I drive out to the Darling Downs, it doesn’t change a bit.  Haha.  I arrived at the house I thought my grandma was at, and tried to figure out the front gate, when a middle-aged/elderley guy came around to the side of the house.  Be fore he could say anything, I asked if Betty was there, and that I was her Grandson.  He said ‘yeah, she is! Jsut come around this way’, as I followed him around the back of the house, underneath it to an area where the group had set up chairs and stuff, with one portable fan going, trying to keep the whole group cool.  It was such a hot day.  Mum had given me my presents, which consisted of a 1KG block of chocolate and a huge box of Maltesers, so I had to bring those inside, as an attempt to stop them melting, cos they so would in the car.  Anyway I stayed and made small talk with them for about 3 hours or so.  I couldn’t believe how soft my grandma’s hands have gotten.  Like each time they seem to be softer, like so so soft, almost pillow-like.  She told so many stories to me, a few of which she’s mentioned before, but I happily sit through them.  After all, she’s my grandma and I love her.  One of the ladies in the group asked what i did with myself, and after answering that question to their satisfaction, asked me if I had a girlfriend.  I quickly replied, "No" firmly, and another lady goes, ‘good! They’re nothing but trouble!’.  Then I couldn’t believe what Tommy (the guy who had greeted me at the gate) said.  He goes, "Why buy the book when you can hire the library?" - I burst out laughing.  That was so good haha.  </font>

<font color="#00ccff">So I finally left there, knowing I was going to be late for the lunch in Toowoomba, and was about at Westbrook when dad messaged me asking me where I was.  I said I was coming.  I found the place easily, as she lives in Glenvale.  I knew a few people there including my cousin Tammy, who actually lives just near me here in Brisbane.  Apparently she came up the night before as well, but musta been about an hour in front of me.  She told me how she got done by the cops during 85 in a 60 zone at the roadworks at laidley there.  I mean it’s dumb anyway.  There were no cops there when I went through.  I did see a few though, being Christmas eve, they were all out.  Katrina’s was cool - they showed me where the food was, so I could make my own, even tohugh everyone else had already eaten.  They hadn’t opened presents yet cos they were all still wrapped beneath the tree.  There were a few people there i didn’t recognise, most probably rellies on my Uncles side - one girl was really pretty - the family kinda looked Greekish in my opinion.</font>

<font color="#00ccff">John rang me sometime during the afternoon asking when I was headed back to Brissy.  I said I didn’t know, probably that night, and he said there were 4 storms about to hit.  I was standing out on the street.  My my left were dark Nimbis Clouds and to my right was completely clear blue sky.  Definite signs of a storm heading in.  Towards the afternoon the clouds were covering more and more of the sky.  I left back for Brissy about 5pmish I think, but took a detour at Esk, <strike>as I’d gotten especially horny for some reason, so parked my car somewhere in a quiet road and jerked off.  I didn’t have much to clean up with, so had to deal with what I had.  I know it wasn’t the best place for it</strike> but gee was so glad I did it.  Then I spent the next hour driving along those roads trying to find my way back to the highway to Brisbane.  Gee THAT took a while.  Once I got onto Ipswich Road I decided to visit my mate Scott.  His friend Steve was over, who was a quite friendly guy actually, quite good-looking gay friend of Scott’s. I spent ages there, til after midnight, cos we watched Steve’s "Little Britain" DVD’s.  I’d never seen that show before, but it cracked me up.  It amazed me how much they are allowed to get away with hahaha.  I bought the DVD’s today, I just had to.  Scott got a little drunk, and was very affectionate, saying how much he loved me as a friend and stuff.  It was sweet.  He also tried to feel both of us up a lot, with Steve just letting him do it!  He didn’t have so much luck with me haha.  He’s a good friend, but a very forward friend, I’d describe him as.</font>

<font color="#00ccff">I finally left there and went home.  Monday I caught up with Tash from work to see The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion Witch And The Wardrobe.  The cinema was sold out completely, with 3 movie sessions in 3 cinemas all sold out.  It was a REALLY goo movie - I definitely recommend it.  I almost cried but didn’t quite.  I know what Rebecca St. James meant when she said the movie was biblically based, with the tabernacle breaking in two and stuff.  I didn’t hear her song though, but they played Alanis Morissette in the closing credits, which seemed liek a nice song.  I was amazed by the actress who played The White Witch - I found myself hating her, and I thought she was an incredible actress, who looked the part!  Amazing it got a PG rating, as it was quite violent, yet Harry Potter got the ‘M’ rating - go figure.  Anyway really recommend it, it had me captivated.</font>

<font color="#00ccff">After i got home, I quickly changed and rang John.  I packed up my PC and stuff and left for his place.  At midnightish I decided to go to a Servo to get a choccie milk.  So we did that, and then decided we didn’t wanna go home, so decided to drive back my place, get my digital camera and some jackets in case it god cold up there (yeh right!) and headed to Mt Cootha!  We had so much fun up there and went the long way past all the TV stations and stuff.  God now that I think about it, my car’s done a fuckload of kilometers this past weekend.  Poor thing.  I filled up with fuel out at the farm so I didn’t have to pay for fuel.  I figure if Craig does it all the time, I should be able to the few times I’m actually out there.  We took so many photos up there, it was so much fun, even though we hated how we looked in a lot of them.  We tested out the Night Scene fuction on my camera, and even though we couldn’t see a thing through the viewfinder, and had to guess where the other person was, when the photo was taken, it turned out awesome!!  Well I thought so anyway.  Way better than my old camera.  I’m only putting one photo up as I think it’s the best of the crappy ones haha, but I’ll just keep the rest on my computer I think.  Maybe upload more later.  I have to upload this one on dialup now that I’m home, so it’s taking ages as it is.</font>

<font color="#00ccff"> Johnny And Me with the lights of Brisbane</font>

<font color="#00ccff">We got home at around 4:30am haha.  It was a really fun night with lots of laughs.  John allowed me to use his bed that night after my experience of last time waking up sick as a dog.  I woke up early enough as I had to meet Aaron for a movie at 11am.  I met him at garden City.  I spent all day trying to get a photo of him but I wasn’t game enough to ask.  I showed him my new camera though and he said it was cool :) I quite like it too!  It’s a mini-blue Olympus.  It was SO good to see Aaron again.  He’s dyed his hair blonde, and turned out copperish, but looks awesome eitherway.  We decided to bus it into Southbank and watch ‘Fun With Dick And Jane".  I hadn’t seen a Jim Carrey movie in quite some time, so it was good.  We couldn’t get in until the 3:55p session, so we went shopping in the city.  I think he spent like $250 dollars on clothes and I spent about $150 on DVD’s and presents for Luke’s Christmas present.  I really hope he likes them!  The movie was so-so.  I hugged Aaron goodbye and gave him his birthday card that Australia post kindly returned to me saying I’d written an insufficent address.  Aaron neglected to give me his unit number lol.  Oh well he’s got it now.  Was great to see him, and am going to again on New Years Day, depending on how bad both our hangover’s will be :)</font>

<font color="#00ccff">In other Luke news, he’s being evicted.  I rang him last night and we spoke for half an hour, so I’m a bit worried about how much that call’s gunna cost me, but oh well, shouldn’t matter anyway since it’s Lukey.  He’s handed in his resignation at work and has decided to move back to Toowoomba in 2 weeks time.  He doesn’t have a choice really.  Poor guy.  If only I didn’t live with Nev I could help him out.  God his boarder person is a cunt.  Sorry if you don’t like the use of that word but that’s how pissed off I am at her.  Now Luke’s moving back to Toowoomba, wont have a job and most of his friends are here.  I’m am going to miss him so so so so badly.</font>

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

Sounds like an awesome Christmas…So sorry to hear about Luke though…It’ll work out in the end I’m sure. [broken.wings.] 12/27/2005 10:49:59 AM

luke being evicted is horrible, can’t imagine what that’s like, but do know how it is to feel in similar situation so sympathise.

you guys have warm christmases, =(. but hope you enjoyed, and lol, that crossed out stuff is hilarious!!!!!

love yer, sweetie. mwah, mwah, and happy new year in case you’re not on for another few days. [Nesstwy.] [p] 12/27/2005 12:11:47 PM

I’m sorry about Luke. That’s really unfortunate. [Rachel Erin] 12/27/2005 12:19:41 PM

aww, sucks about Luke. soo funny about you parking and… you know.

http://www.stlyrics.com/f/familyguy.htm

That might have the lyrics. [EternallyHopeful] 12/27/2005 12:45:34 PM

sorry to hear about luke…

thats a good picture of you!

I love jerking in a car… You should take pictures of you jerking and send them to:

[email protected]

and you might get some back.

:P [fries] [p] 12/27/2005 1:57:19 PM

<font color="orange"> i know that song! they always play it on the radio here :)
andddd… i wanna see narnia BAD! i grew up with the TV show :)
anddd… sucks about luke :/ it will all work out though :)
xox
[[disco-lemonade]] 12/27/2005 2:27:13 PM


Glad to hear that you had a lot of fun. I am also sorry to hear about Luke’s situation. Thank you for your kind words on my entry, you are the best. Take care! [C-Dub85] 12/27/2005 3:37:37 PM

That was a pretty interesting read. It is spelt Sean so you were right. What did Luke’s boarder girl do? She is the reason for the eviction right? Also with your cousin Tammy, is that Tammy Pfeffer? She was hot :-)

I can’t wait to get back there, I’m bored sh*tless here! [The_Blind_Archer] 12/27/2005 4:37:09 PM

hahaha jacking off on the highway is always fun. As long as there’s no one to see you. But I love that picture. You two make a cute couple, if you were to date. He looks like a nice guy.

merry christmas. Come look at my pictures!!!

love ya [hell_bound_heart] [p] 12/27/2005 4:59:25 PM


Geez Matt you write something and cross it out and you know people are going to read it anyway. And I just had clam chowder for lunch. I think you did it on purpose to gross people out! Aaaanyways, cute picture. You look different in every picture you post. Oh, and what’s the story with the shower picture? Hmmm? Sorry about Luke. I don’t know what else to say about that. You and Aaron have fun! [mobyduck] 12/27/2005 5:03:35 PM

sorry to hear about luke… but sounds like u had a good xmas.
take care: [Agent #2] 12/27/2005 5:12:11 PM


Matt always be the love that you are no matter what. And always, always be yourself. Love ya dude!! Hell yeah!

Hugs,

Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 12/27/2005 5:39:10 PM

[Ezra_Medic] 12/27/2005 10:03:38 PM

i read the lyrics.. omg i am crying, that song is so beautiful.. thank you for sharing [Redflash25] 12/27/2005 11:27:56 PM

I am sorry Luke is being evicted and at Christmas time! Glad you had a chance to see your family. Laughed at what you crossed out in your entry, I have done that sort of thing at times as well.
Happy Tuesday and Happy Christmas, hon. [pizzaguy184] 12/28/2005 12:39:07 AM


that sucks about luke [LegallyGay80] 12/28/2005 12:46:57 AM

Doesn’t it always seem that for every one good thing that happens, 2 bad things happen too? Sorry about Luke. [Lucky Guy] 12/28/2005 1:22:22 AM


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