I've only dated one man in Age 36

I love listening to podcasts that talk about the modern dating paradigm…or lack there of. Quick background. I am 36 the hubbs is 35. We met when I was 18 and he was 17. We were each other’s firsts for everything. And I do mean everything. My parents raised me very sheltered. My mother always told me that a boy was not to touch “down there” unless married or close to. I am Mexican. I grew up on novelas in the 90s that eventually showed the couple being together.

I also grew up Christian and still am. (There will be more on this later.) So yes, a lot of knowledge on dating was only what I saw in those novelas and what my mom told me. I didn’t date throughout high school. At least not really. When I was 14, when I was a freshman, I caught the eye of my brother’s friend who was a senior at the time. He was 17. We were at a jazz band competition when he invited me to go eat some pizza after the competition. We had gone to a high school near the beach, so the rest of the class used the opportunity to hang out.

He ended up telling me that he liked me. He respectfully took my hand and kissed it. He would walk me to class, hold my hand, pecked my cheek, but never did he try to do more than what I allowed. And I don’t really think he wanted to attempt it because of the “innocent” vibe I gave off.

I guess through all that what I am trying to say is, I was taught that you keep your most valuable assets: your kisses, your hugs, your physical affection, your body with or without virginity, under a tight lid. Those were things you only shared with the one you were really serious about. And now I am hearing about all these girls giving it out so freely.

The thing is society and its standards, no matter what, will NEVER change.

A person, more so a woman, is considered high value on how they care for their self. If they hold their body, time, and affection as high value and don’t give it out so freely, others especially the ones you intend to pick as mates, will see that. That aside, I have to say that I am thankful. I did not end up with the first guy I mentioned.

I met my husband through mutual friends because I was their third wheel. I was deep into college doing 16 or so units a quarter, and working 25 hours weeks. I had no life. So the life I did have was my friends that were dating. They eventually felt, I am sure, that it was time to get me with someone. Enter my husband. Our friends set us up, he asked me to prom, and 17 years later. Voila! Married and with 2 kids.

He’s a teacher. I am an RN. I also listen to podcasts and what they have to say about marriage. This is where me being Christian comes in. When you base your marriage on the foundations of the Bible and what it says about it, let me tell you, its a recipe for a good time. I feel we are stronger because of it. Don’t go thinking we’re both Bible thumpers. He’s Catholic (non practicing) and does not go to church with me. But he reaps the rewards of what I listen and abide to. We also communicate as well as we can. If there is an area that I am faltering in, he tells me. If there is an area that he is faltering in, I tell him. We take these notes and amend as needed. Also, when we first got engaged I was always sure to tell him to keep in mind that he and I were endgame. We may add kids in the middle, but they’ll fly off and it’ll just be us left.

I asked him if he was ready for all it. My stroking out and him having to clean my butt because I could no longer do it. Either one of us getting disabled on the job and having to endure financial duress. Cancer coming up and us having to take care of the other. You know, all the real situations that test a marriage. These are the situations that show just how strong the love is. Because no matter how weak the partner, if the love is strong and the bond has a strong foundation, that weak partner will syphon strength in that.

I married such a man. I know that he will pull through when I need him. And I sure as hell will be there to clean the dribble off his chin when I need to. If he were to lose his legs, if he were to have a life changing illness, I’m there.

A prayer I had recently was for the Lord to give a ride or die friend. Didn’t realize I already had him.

We ride together, we’ll die together. Marriage for life.

Cringey? Dgaf. That’s how I feel. Love you hunnybun.