What's Sleep? in Hello

Monday was my birthday and it was so hard. At dinner that night an elderly couple sat at a table across from me. I listened as the man told his wife, “to another forty-one years,” as they clinked their glasses together. I was staring hard at his drink. On the rocks, brown ember, probably a soda mixed with bourbon. Couldn’t stop my mouth from watering at the thought of a Jack and Coke.

I had been craving all day.

No, wait, let me start over.

I was already in a state of melancholy. My birthday is in February and I hate it. Either cold, unseasonably warm or raining. All the trees and grass are dead so what’s the point of wanting to be out in nature. As you can see, ill temperament. Then the day came. Anything that was suggested I didn’t feel like doing as it had already been done. Trip to GameStop? Walmart? Target? Barnes and Noble? No, I’ve frequented them for distractions too often lately and have exhausted my patience for meandering about.

Past experiences always have me drinking on my birthday and this time I wouldn’t let myself forget it. The feeling lasted for days. It was as if my mind was tearing itself asunder with contradictory messages and images. I dealt with it the best I know how, gaming and reading. I knocked out two books and the game Arkham Knight.

A good night’s sleep?
What’s that?
Hahahaha

Received my injection Thursday. A different nurse again. This time my entire left hip is in agony. The heating pad near the console has been earning it’s keep. Is it helping? Probably not. But it feels nice so if I can sit without pain, I’m good. This has added to the stress of not sleeping.

I’ve felt a bit…dysfunctional…this week.