A different perspective. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve been networking with people trying to find childcare at night and on weekends so I can go back to the type of job I did before. Working in the after school program isn’t my jam and I have to get something else figured out. I really don’t like the people I work with and I feel that it’s a lot of bullshit for a little bit of money. My paychecks are not nearly enough and I will never be able to buy another car. I worry about my car all the time because it’s old and has plenty of miles on it where I feel like every mile I drive is a miracle.

I’m hoping that my brother could watch her some and I have a girl that I used to nanny for that is a consideration as well. Even if I only worked a couple of evenings during the week and then all day on Saturday and Sunday, I would be just fine.

Another thing. I don’t want to just settle for this job because it works schedule wise. I don’t want to feel that I’m bargaining my mental health just for the sake of a having a job and that job isn’t getting us anywhere. I just know if at some point my car goes down, I’m going to be in a spot where I won’t be able to do anything at all. I’d like to do what I can now in order to prevent that. I want to start saving money so that I can just buy another one.

I’m trying to find someone to watch her today so I can schedule an interview this afternoon. I just would absolutely LOVE to put in my notice tomorrow and know that I’m moving on. I want to know that I won’t be stuck anymore. I want out of there so I can get my kid out of there as well. After Friday night when those 2 girls were talking about my daughter always wanting to be in my group and how they understand she’s a Mommy’s girl, I can definitely sense that this is going to become an issue. I also don’t want my daughter there unless I’m there to protect her because there’s a guy that works in her group that’s really tough on the kids.

I’m not happy there and I need to plan my exit. I’m not a huge fan with any of the people I work with and my paychecks aren’t shit. I feel that my daughter and I put up with way more than we should.

So, I’ve been brainstorming. I have an interview tomorrow which is going to make me late but I’ve been texting with my old boss and waiting to hear back. I have a girl that would watch my kid some nights, my Mom would watch her some and maybe my brother here and there. I’m not going to stay at that job just because it works schedule wise. I’m done pretending to be happy, I’m not gonna bother voicing my concerns anymore, my daughter and I are just going to quietly exit and they can run the dumpster fire.

I don’t make enough money to every buy a car outright or even have a car note. If my car breaks or blows up, I won’t have a way to replace it. That scares the shit out of me. Another thing, Spring break starts the last week of March where we won’t work for 6 days and that’s a lot to lose on your already small paycheck. Then, not get paid for 3 weeks. I already went through that over Christmas break. I’d rather just figure out childcare, pay if needed, and work a regular job where my bills will get paid and not have to worry about this shit.

This is a good job for teenagers that still live at home and don’t have adult bills. It doesn’t work for people like me who are a single parent and I’m the only one providing financially. I can’t even try to pay a couple of months in advance on my bills because my paychecks are so small. I already don’t make it 2 weeks that if I tried to pay more on things, I wouldn’t be able to afford gas or household things.

I just plan to get a different job and move on. I seriously can’t handle the stress of trying to stay at this job at all.