Setback in 2020s

Just when I thought it was over, things got bad again. I didn’t get sick but I had the worst acid reflux I’ve ever had in my life last night. My throat didn’t just burn but it hurt like hell! I was delayed getting to sleep because I had to sit propped up on my wedge pillow which is very hard to sleep on. Eventually, I was able to lie down flat and then settle onto my stomach so I could get into a deeper sleep. I was afraid that if I tried to sleep lying down sooner, I would choke.

Sometimes I really wish I would just get something that would kill me! I’m so sick of the never-ending fatigue and health issues!!! I almost feel like I’m being held prisoner in my own home. Yes, I’m a homebody 95% of the time but I would still like to do things at times. Every event I want to attend I happen to have to sleep through. Really wanted to give blood at the clubhouse on the 6th but I’m not going to be up before they’re done if I’m even feeling well enough. It’s okay, though. I don’t have to do this. I don’t have to play Bingo. I don’t have to take walks. I can just accept my so-called “calling” in life and spend half of it in bed. Why not? Most people dream of this, right?

Anyway, I was amazed I wasn’t nauseous on top of all the acid reflux kicking up in my throat last night but my stomach isn’t perfect either.

I’m just so damn drained not just because of the virus itself and the screwy sleep but the lack of nutrition. Even so, I already went back up a pound. I likely never lost fat but weight because my digestive tract emptied out. I tell you, I ain’t kidding when I say you could literally lock me in a room and starve me and I wouldn’t lose a damn pound. I really think some of us are simply the way we’re meant to be.

So I slept a little over 6 hours, began this entry, and then napped for a couple of hours. A little while ago, I was finally able to get up and get down a banana, some apple sauce, and saltines. Tom ran out to Publix and picked up some more chicken soup as well as fruits, veggies, and TV dinners. The only reason I got the processed sodium-laden things was because I don’t have the energy to cook. Hell, I can’t even clean the house.

We’ve gotta drop Walgreens and start getting our meds somewhere else because I am sick and fucking tired of them taking it upon themselves to make my medical decisions for me by refilling prescriptions I didn’t ask them to refill. Tom checked the site again, and we do have the auto-refill off. Yet they refused to honor our request to wait until we tell them to refill meds. I’m not ready for a levo refill for another couple of weeks and the decision as to when I have it refilled should be up to me.

Loving scented things as I do I got some eucalyptus oil going in the diffuser, but it’s not very strong-smelling. Maybe I didn’t put enough in and I’ll add some sandalwood to it. I burned some lavender incense earlier, but I only want to burn one stick a day. If I burn more I get congested.

Some activity going on at the honker’s but what else is new? Next month it’s out of here for a while. He has out-of-town visitors, but he must have picked them up at the airport because they used his truck while he went out on the motorcycle. Why have visitors if you’re not going to do things together? It’s his 60th birthday today, so maybe that’s got something to do with it. I didn’t wish him a happy birthday. He didn’t wish me one for mine in December.

I’m frustrated not only for obvious reasons when one gets sick, but I lost a little money since I haven’t been able to work online as much. Also, I would have finished the challenge and returned to Indiana had I not gotten sick. I did manage to do a few miles yesterday, and it was funny because I was toying with someone else on the road who joined the ride while I was on it. I don’t know if they realized what I was doing or if they cared, but whenever I would pause to change the radio station or skip songs, they would get ahead. But knowing I could go a little faster with my unique setup, I would eventually pass them. Then pause, let them pass, and back and forth. And I’m sure they were wondering how I was managing to pull that off because they weren’t stopping and they were pedaling steadily.

So I’ve gone from drowning to looming jail sentences to being attacked in my dreams. Two or three of the Mexican freeloader’s daughters from Phoenix walked by me eating by myself in a restaurant. Now all grown up, they magically knew who I was even if some were infants in the 90s and others may not have even existed.

They hurled threats and slaps at me and when I went to cover my face with my hands, they started slapping my stomach which was bare as I was wearing a crop top. After a minute of this, they took off and I automatically reached for my phone to call the cops, but then I hesitated. I knew they would not only be long gone, but I didn’t know their names or what the cops could do or that they would even care to do anything, knowing that minorities tend to be believed over non-minorities (the girls looked white, though).

I left the restaurant and resumed my walk home when next thing I knew, I was in Springfield. I recognized the voice of Laurie the cop talking to a couple of people. I only saw her from behind, though. Her butt and back were fat, I noticed, and then I went inside a building to get a drink. I became worried when I heard her voice as she too, entered the building a minute after I did, and I told myself I had to hurry up because if she saw me and recognized me, she certainly could and likely would hurt me.