Wubba Lubba Dub Dub: Long One w/Pictures in Book One: The Not So Daily Briefs 2014

Any events discussed in the following reference Friday, October 3. This was not written on that date (it was written right now). It is running a little long as I write it… I will try to break up the monotony with pictures and videos? That is all.

We have finally received some new hires in at work. Of course, the supervising lazy-man honestly didn’t think about training. All of our new hires have been put on the schedule already so… yeah, as I want to make sure our department doesn’t embarrass itself in open court; I’ve been piggybacking on these trainee shifts to actually try to teach the new kids how to do things.

Friday morning was one such event. However, as I should have realized the supervisor told the trainee to arrive at 9. Court starts at 9. This is why I think it is bollocks that someone who doesn’t DO the job gets to SUPERVISE the job. If court starts at 9, one should arrive at the office no later than 10 til. Particularly, it is wise to arrive at the office at 8:30am, review the paperwork, arrive at court at least ten minutes early, and set up our space at the Judicial Bench… as a professional is ready to go when court starts - not simply arriving at that time. I wasn’t upset with the trainee though. I expected that she wasn’t going to be properly informed so I left her a note and made sure to get to court on time… for the honor of the department. The trainee got into the court as we were wrapping up and was visibly embarrassed. I encouraged her not to be worried… the same thing still happens to me on occasion. There are some judges who sincerely start court “when they feel like it.” I’ve arrived a full 13 minutes before court was to start and the judge was finishing up with the last inmate! Judicial discretion, man.

There is something that just… struck me about the trainee, though. It would not be inappropriate to call her Life Sized Barbie. Statuesque slightly tanned bright-blond very athletic woman wearing a suit/skirt combo with the skirt juuuust teasing the edge of being too short. Ironically… I don’t go in for this type of woman. And I started thinking about (1) why that is and (2) why I act the way I do if I would never date this person? I’ll start with the second one first. You see… I definitely act as though I am attracted to her. But not in the “I’m attracted to you, let’s do stuff” kind of way. No, with this particular type of woman, I go into “Bashful High School Nerd” form. I get quiet, over articulate, inquisitive… I don’t act confident and experienced. What is worse is that when I started to ask why a conventionally attractive Life Sized Barbie doesn’t appeal to me… I started casting aspersions and assumptions. The first thing that came to mind was “I could never be with someone like that because they’ve never experienced the pain of isolation or experienced anything like the pain I’ve felt.” Luckily, I’m an adult now and instantly chastised myself for those thoughts. I’ve no reason at all to think that of her as I don’t know her life story.

I think it all goes back to an old saying: High School Roles still haunt us in our Adult Lives. I went to a stupidly posh high school where the bottle blond over privileged Barbie type was very literally EVERYWHERE I turned. These were often the women causing pain in a number of ways. If you’re a little different? We’ll broadcast it and use it to hurt you. (This happened to several good friends of mine) If you can’t afford a $7200 dress for prom? You don’t get to go to prom with our group. (This happened to several good friends of mine) Even down to adolescent physical blossom differences… I had a friend whose chest developed much later in life… and yet, these Barbie-Want-To-Bes spent EvErY day in High School throwing Band-Aids at her (suggesting they were less expensive and more appropriate than a bra), hiding her bra, or worse. SO… it means that in my present I have to be extra cautious not to bring my past hang ups into modern relationships.

Blond Female Attorney: Alexandra Cabot: Stephanie March from SVU

It is funny, after I came to that- I left work and BAM… entering the jail to see one of our new clients.... ugh. There was this absolutely STUNNING 19 year old blonde girl walking up the steps. Hair in a pony tail, thin white t-shirt, short denim shorts, and faded black heels… her legs were what struck me hardest, very good legs. Anyway… I tried to reflect on the lesson I had just developed and… nope. Totally different. This was not a Life Sized Barbie; this was a stunner visiting her violent, drug dealing boyfriend during his third stretch at County. I felt my anger and frustration was a little more acceptable in that instance.

Ironically… the Universe was not done making sure I had got the point. After I got into my car and drove to Taco Bell (very busy day, had to get crap food)… yeah. My server at Taco Bell Drive Through was an adorable chipper attractive-but-illegal young blonde high school girl. eye roll… I get it, Universe… judging on physical appearances and past stereotypes is bad… got the message!

Image of Laurene Powell Jobs: Intelligent Blonde

That was pretty much all of Friday… except for a Law School Party of sorts. One of my younger-but-only-slightly friends with whom I attended Law School turned 30 last week; so any law compatriots that were still in the area (including the younger classes that were still attending law school) were welcome out to a lovely new bar for festivities. I made sure to take the wife as we had both been interested in the bar.... this particular establishment has TWO cocktail menus… one for “modern” drinks and another for people willing to try older drinks. We’ve always wanted to try older drinks like “old fashioned,” “side car” and the like but… we’ve never felt comfortable asking for one because frankly we don’t know what are in them. So the wife and I were very excited for the menu.

When we arrived… there was reason for additional excitement. First of all… the required attire of the wait staff most significantly brought attention to the legs. I am sorry if it offends or seems strange but… while I do enjoy a healthy pair of breasts, I am definitely a leg man. And… in America, at least, the attention is always placed on breasts or asses. A good face, nice hair, and well crafted legs are much more to be appreciated, in my estimation. I do apologize if I sound sexist here, really, but… I think there are parts of our sexually-preferred gender that appeal to each of us uniquely. By not being able to discuss it, we simply make sex and sexual arousal more and more taboo and who is that helping, really?

Anyway… drink menu, wait staff… but the really awesome? LAW SCHOOL PEEPS! It’s been a long time, really. I mean…I get to see one or two every now and again but… getting them all in a group… all of us dressed as we should… well, except the wife. She was in jeans and a peasant blouse… genuinely a cute look; but in a room full of people in either suits, skirts, or (in many cases) full dresses, gowns, and the like… I don’t know. So it was awesome seeing people! Buuuuuut.......

There was someone there that… complicated the night for me. When I was a 3L, there was a young woman named Molly who was a 2L. She and I ate lunch a few times at school to talk about various things but we were always surrounded by the auspices of law school; always kept things professional. Friday night though? She was wearing a stunning “little black dress” and looked fantastic! And BAM- I found a name (of sorts) for that ineffable gut feeling I get when I’m around her.

Molly is a confusing, beautiful, terrifying combination of Buffy who some may remember as the beautiful Irish-American marathon runner with a heart of gold.... and KI… whose terrifying, brutal, life shattering exploits can be read by following any of those four preceding links.

I don’t… I can’t… there are no words. Here is a gorgeous, beautiful, stacked runner WITH RED HAIR and a fashion sense who attends law school… but is putting off a lot of warning signs that she could be a big ol’ bag of dangerous crazy. Plus- I’m married. BUT… whatever attraction I feel for Molly? I can tell it is reciprocated. Hell, at the party Molly even said “You are a perfect example of what I’ve been feeling lately. In Law School, all the great catches are already caught!” As stupid and semi-cheating as it is… as soon as she said that, so many thoughts flooded my mind. I mean, this is a woman who I know already possess passion and drive… Molly shares my interests.... and with my wife unwilling or unable to attend a lot of concerts, movies, theater, etc. that I would otherwise attend… I could ask Molly to come with me. Of course, after every thought I was scolding myself. I’m married. I’m getting just enough of a KI vibe off Molly that… even if I were single, I would be insane to pursue this woman. But the thoughts crop up. And have kept cropping up. For the last three days.

Oh… and did I mention? She starts as a trainee next week at work? Yeah. So… I’ll have to spend lots of quality time with her training her to do her job… and since my job usually goes from 9am to 5pm… and my wife tends to work 1pm to 10pm… I would enjoy having someone to eat dinner with.... you see how this could become an issue I’ll be writing about later?

Here is an image (that still sufficiently protects the security of) Molly. To drive home playful, gorgeous, red haired woman with some of my interests. Crap!