i want that sense of safety back in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

ya know. my friend who. um left. she’s so far away that absolutely nothing can touch her. no one can hurt her. [but she’s also not here to hurt, so].

and I. I want that. not um not leaving. but that sense of safety. ever since christopher. got angry [and again not w/ me] I haven’t felt safe here. at my house. and just bc it hasn’t happened since doesn’t mean it won’t happen again. i’m not going to think that way i’m not going to just. ignore it. no I don’t do that nor do I like it. it probably will happen again I just don’t know when.
and just like in the past. what, month 2 months I was starting to refer to my house as ‘home’. and now it’s not. it’s not new I just don’t like it.