my god it's like i'm being fukin institutionalised. and. stuff being taken. in The Wonderland Years: 2014. Done.

yeah so. i’m still not allowed to go anywhere by myself when i’m at my house. not even to the damn park which is but 10 mins. away. like i’m not even allowed to take access-a-ride to the store. like really?
until I become more responsible around the house. yeah I mean I get it. cause of this stupid liability thing. cause if something happens to me on the way to oh I don’t know the park then stephanie’s liable. yeah um........well not if she doesn’t know.........she’s only as liable as I let her be. but if she does know then she could losses her job. yeah well see that’s the issue. is it makes it seem. a little fake. a little bit like ‘well I care but. not that much being that’.um. ................idk atm. idk it’s not abuse exactly I don’t think but it seems off, somehow.
my god it’s like i’m being fukin institutionalised. cause in institutions you have to do certain things before you can do more stuff. I know I have the options of switching agencies [ok so stephanie’s boss is amber and amber and hannah and Jennifer f. all work for an agency] but thing is the agencies work for the state. so it’s the state > the agency > stephanie. the state’s the main boss. oh and so I think i’m pretty sure that the agency doesn’t make the rules they just follow them. so my point here is regardless of the agency I think there’d still bet the same rules. i’m also pretty sure I can always opt out. doesn’t mean i should just means it’s there. however as much as a part of me wants to do that cause other than my mom’s I don’t have another place to live. I don’t have a 3rd option here. a 3rd one set up.
so ya know i’m really somewhat fuked.