Annual Survey 2023 in Each Day

I have been doing this same survey since 2014, but since I jumped journals I don’t have the full archive anymore. Here’s 2022’s.

What did you do in 2023 that you’d never done before?
- Be the carer through M’s life threatening medical emergency.
- Have a psychologist
- Actually feel like my MH professional gets me/can help me.
- Experienced EMDR.
- Had to put my cat down.

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
2023 Resolutions:
Read more - I really got into Audiobooks again this year. I also used a few audible credits to get me back on the Stephen King train. Feeling pretty good, even if I’m listening instead of reading wtih my eyes. I’m still really struggling to focus on reading literal books.
Ride more - ABSOLUTE FAILURE. I didn’t even register my bike until after my Birthday (July), and even after that I didn’t ride it even once this summer. Between the heat & humidity, and how exhausted I was all the time it made riding to work very unappealing. And then without M out on his bike, joyriding just didn’t occur to me most of the time. It seemed when I had the time AND the inclination to ride, it was raining :(
Move more - Well, I got heat exhaustion in June so exercise became a real battle of how-bad-do-I-want-to-feel-today. But we did start mountain biking again this summer, so that was a very big win in my books. And I’m ending the year back at the gym, and feeling pretty good about keeping it up in the New Year, so I’ll take the win.
Knit more - I tried. I had excellent intentions, but I started embroidering some kits M and Red had bought me and the knitting just never got picked up again… Next year!! Unless I start really focusing on thread painting which is my current fascination (though I haven’t jumped into yet).
Dedicate more mental energy to anti-consumerism AND minimalism - Depression is hard, ADHD is hard, and dopamine is easily obtained through Amazon. It was a rough year, and my bank account is showing for it. I never did hire a professional to help me declutter…
Leave the goddamned house more - I at least now get out of the house once a week, for sure, thanks to craft club. That has been great. Though I still don’t have the capacity I once did. Red and I really tried to get back into watching shows, we never did succeed with the being outdoor kids, but there feels like really good reasons why that is the case. Maybe with colder weather we can really settle in and watch some shows and get our groove back.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
I actually don’t think anyone has.. wow.

Did anyone close to you die?
My sweet boy Jinx 😭

What countries did you visit?
One of these days I’ll cross a border again…

What would you like to have in 2024 that you lacked in 2023?
- Work Life Balance
- Promotion to Captain
- A solution to the moving problem

What date from 2023 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 1st, M got shingles. April 6th, M was hospitalized with shingles.
December 13, we buried my old boy in our back yard.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Therapy has been incredible.
I finally passed my Force Test after a year of injury and illness.

What was your biggest failure?
I literally failed a fitness test, and it fed the vile shit my brain likes to spit at me in such moments.

Did you suffer illness or injury?
In late 2022 I hurt my shoulder doing push ups. Physio for that lasted until May or June. Then came heat exhaustion on repeat through June, July, September and October (not August so much as we were moved into a different space that was a more humane temperature.
And don’t forget almost chopping my finger tip off in December.

What was the best thing you bought?
- I bought a new Macbook Air after I realized I was three times over the lifecycle of the battery on my 2015 one, and it needed to be replaced. It’s lovely.
- I made my last financing payment on Cherry (my motorcycle).

Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Gonna give it to my boss, who has been so compassionate of my bullshit.
And my mom. I never thought we’d have the conversation we did after her birthday, I never thought I’d feel so much peace and understanding about what a shit childhood I had.

Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
M has been talking about feeling like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, so I’m gonna say Mr Hyde. M’s medical and mental struggles this year have made navigating his moods very difficult. He’s able to shrug it off for the most part on weekends, and I do love spending time with him, but damn. Hopefully therapy will help him. If they ever get around to scheduling an appointment.

Where did most of your money go?
I normally really geek out at this part, illustrating how much I saved, donated and squandered with percentages of my salary. I have not had the motivation to do that part for the last few days, so this is going to have to get posted without it.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Traveling to see M while he was on course (which blew up in our faces)
- My birthday was pretty rad.

What song will always remind you of 2023?
Still don’t think this is always true, but this year I’m going to say I Am Not A Woman I’m A God by Halsey. The day after we put Jinx to sleep, after I failed my Force Test, I sang this as I cried all the way home.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder: I actually can’t quantify this. I feel better, but happiness has been robbed from our year because of how M is suffering. But I’m certainly not sadder.
Older or wiser: I have felt older for the first 50 weeks of 2023, but these last two weeks I’ve definitely felt wiser.
Thinner or fatter: Maybe slightly fatter. Who fucking cares.
Richer or poorer: Technically richer, but I feel poorer thanks to a roof that cost $20K.

What do you wish you’d done more of?
move my body, sing with a teacher, knit, ride my motorcycle, read, see people, feel confident in my profession. I could have just kept last years.... seems I keep wanting things I’m not putting work into…

What do you wish you’d done less of?
- getting stuck in ADHD/depressive paralysis
- dodging M’s moods

How did you spend Christmas?
We decorated outside on November 12th. We were really eager to get the Christmas vibe going. It usually buoys us from whatever bs life is handing us (mostly M’s seasonal affected disorder), but this year we extra needed it. We decided early no presents, but agreed that advent calendars were a must, and M bought us festive PJs (I super appreciated that the ones he bought for himself had menorah’s on them. Mine had polar bears in a fair isle pattern)
And then my laser light show thingy died.
And then my icicle lights arch over the driveway wouldn’t light, and I lost my motivation to continue decorating outside. The first Thursday in December we got our tree, a 9’ beauty with a lot of wonky branches, which we used to humourous effect when we decorated that Saturday.
And then I almost cut my middle finger off.
And then we had to rush Jinx to the vet.
And then we put Jinx to sleep.
And then I failed my force test.
And then Red got fired (without cause).
And then I passed my force test.
And then we got an extra day off thanks to freezing rain.
And then M and I proceeded to get high every day. We watched Die Hard on Christmas Eve, it was exactly what I needed. Christmas was chill, but we didn’t even watch The Muppet’s Christmas Carol (Or Scrooged, or even Scrooge (1951)). Despite the tree and the lights and the decorations all over the house, we just couldn’t manage a festive spirit. We had pre-ordered Turkey Dinner pies from our favourite pie place again, it was a perfect amount of effort, considering the general mood. Of course, we ended the day with a bang ;)

How did you spend New Year’s Eve?
We planned on keeping our tradition of “Fucking in the New Year”, and we succeeded.

Did you fall in love in 2023?
This was a hard year, robbed of so much potential. It was the kind of year where weaker connections would crumble. I never wavered in my Love for M, but it was harder to like him, to enjoy being around him. It’s hard to maintain any sense of positivity or levity when your partner is miserable. This sounds terrible, but anyone who has cared for a person in chronic pain knows how volatile they can be. Add M’s mental health into the mix, it hasn’t been a good year for falling in love.

How many one-night stands?
Try as we might, sexy visits with Bastet have been hard to come by. We were supposed to see each other over Christmas, but she has her dogs, and we now have a cat that has never been alone for more than a few hours, and overnight trip is just not possible.

What was your favourite TV program?
Our Flag Means Death - I am so obsessed with Stede and Ed. It doesn’t hurt that I have a massive crush on Taika Waititi. But the supporting cast is so so strong its impossible to pick a favourite character.
Reservation Dogs - this show was probably the best thing we watched this year. (Produced by Taika Waitit)
What We Do in the Shadows - There is not a single weak character in this show. Matt Berry is fucking hilarious, and I love Nandor and Nadja’s characters. And damn, justice for poor fucking Guillermo. (Written and produced by Taika Waititi)
Dark Winds - featuring Zahn McClarnon (‘Big’ in Res Dogs), it’s a compelling drama/mystery taking place in Diné territory in Arizona, also incredible casting, writing, acting. I hope there’s more.
And a special mention to EVERY incredible season of Star Trek that aired this year.
And I’m sure I should be mentioning some Star Wars shows, too, but I’ve forgotten which aired this year.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No, actually. I normally say it’s not worth my effort, but I don’t even remember it being on my mind.

What was the best book you read?
The Witching Year: A Memoir of Earnest Fumbling Through Modern Witchcraft

What was your greatest musical discovery?
This year I started paying for YouTube music (after a god awful experience with the Amazon Music app), where I found Glass Animals. Their uneven lyrical meter is stimulating, their lyrics are compelling and their music is moving. I recommend Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Heat Waves, or Tangerine

What did you want and get?
A therapist who gets me
Improved mental health
Almost all the sex I could ask for.
A new macbook

What did you want and not get?
My promotion to Captain. Again.
That EV I ordered back in 2022. Which I’m not even sure I want anymore…
M to heal.
To win the lottery

What was your favourite film(s) of this year?
It was another year of shit tracking.
Good Luck to You, Leo Grande
Onyx the Fortuitous and the Talisman of Souls
Bottoms
They Cloned Tyrone

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 41 and I spent the day with M and Bastet at her family’s cabin on a lake, swimming and stand up paddling. We got take-out seafood from a very popular road side stand (it was SO BUSY, and we were there well after dinner), and she made me a cake. It was a perfect day.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Captain’s pay.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2023?
You mean a bra can be comfortable AND make my boobs look good?

What kept you sane?
Literal therapy.

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
As previously mentioned: I am OBSESSED with Taika Waititi. I mean, the guy is gorgeous, but the shit he creates is incredible.

What political issue stirred you the most?
There’s a lot of shit going on in the world that deserves more attention than it receives.

Who did you miss?
I was not great at keeping in touch this year, resulting in me missing a lot of people.

Who was the best new person/people you met?
Lilly and Mandy. I’d heard about them from Red for years, as they worked together at the bookstore, once upon a time. Wherever Red goes, they have an open invitation to follow. I’ve gotten to know them both a little through craft club. I’d like to know them more/better, but that’s the life of an extrovert who only seems to attract introverts.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2023:
I do not receive that. ~ Elyse Myers
Learning a lesson and applying it are two different things, though. I need to apply this one.

Quote that sums up your year:
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Last updated January 03, 2024