Laughing it all away in A transparent lockbox

Last night and tonight while washing my face, I broke out into uncontrollable laughter. Last night was just about some experiences I’ve had with dating, like a man offering to drive an hour on the highway on his moped to see me, and saying “It’ll be a bumpy ride, but I can make it work.”, as well as thinking about Jodi Foster saying she was impressed that John Hinckley Jr. tried to assassinate a president for her. It was the kind of laughter that had me clutching my stomach and gasping for air. It was so refreshing to just laugh about these things rather than be saddened like I usually am. Tonight, it was after I was talking to someone and found out he has a 5-year-old kid, and I just said “I can’t be a step-parent” and looked at myself in the mirror and started laughing. I ended up editing an essay for a man I was interested in, another messaged me and then said he messaged the wrong person, and they all seemingly have children. My knight in shining armour is taking me to the ball on a moped. At the beginning I thought it was healthy laughter, then tonight it filled my eyes with tears and sadness followed. I realized it is just that I am unable to cope with the circumstances and realities of my life mindfully, so I uncontrollably laugh instead. Unsure how long it will last, but it isn’t the worst way I could be handling it I guess.