When you have to go. in The odd entries from life …….

I haven’t been to Portsmouth since June, as it is now September I thought a trip was timely, and as usually the weather picks up as soon as I head east, I like cooler days for walking about Portsmouth, the effect of these close humid walks are as my Sister points out’s ‘you know more about the buses in Portsmouth than I do’

Across the south of England I could see fields ready for harvest or already harvested from the train, Monday’s warm weather made the coaches rather close inside, there were quite a lot of people on holiday; a German couple across the coach from me, a American visiting his sister who I had a chat with; and an other American who was complaining!

I didn’t try to have a chat with Germans, my German class wasn’t a success! The first American shared an interest with me, aircraft of WW2 - his father flew B-24 Liberators, it was a short chat as we got on the train at Bristol and they got of at Bath, the next stop on the line; it wasn’t any thing I said! The second American was travelling with an English companion, his complaints were aimed at his companion ‘has Great Western Railways ever heard of air-con’ delivered in the cliché American male deep voice ….

I didn’t put my penny worth in as he wasn’t talking to me, those deep voices do carry, partly I didn’y say any thing as I agree, thinking many of our service providers give us as less as they can! Some new rail coaches are built with out toilets, our tory lead government gave the go ahead; the tories proudly say that are good for business – a leaning that could hit the traveller in the bladder!!! ‘Certainly this traveller!’

I saw Mum twice, on my first visit I couldn’t find Mum, I had looking in the lounge and then her room when one of the caring staff told me she was in the lounge, I stood a second time in the doorway looking in, there was a puzzle game going on, then I saw Mum leaning forward in her chare asleep; there was an empty chare next so I sat there.

I touched her arm softly and her head came up, she know me enough to use my name, I think some times she talks to me but is saying things she would tell her brother Eddy, in the way my Sister is often Mum’s Mum or Mum’s sister, all these family members are all passed; Mum being the last of her family generation. We sat there a few minutes Mum giving answerers, and all correct.

In Mum’s room I had birthday presents for her, on the Sunday past Mum was eighty eight, the age Dad was when he passed away. All her gifts were edible, any think else is soon put away ready for her going home, my sister used to look through the draws when Mum goes to her bathroom, and put a few things out to make it homely; on next visit they are put away againe!

Mum was quieter this time, it takes her a little longer to get out of her chair, she goes everywhere bent over a Zimmer-frame; so at least she still gets about. Having a chat with her is difficult now, we can have the same conversation every three minutes, and for Mum it is new each time. My Sister has taken two of Mum’s photo albums in, they stay in the bottom draw; we went through one album each visit. Mostly the images are new to her, but then and now a view or a face with bring out a memery or part of, but we chated about a few of the photographs, family gatherings and holidays passed; the holidays Mum and Dad enjoyed in the latter years.

This birthday visit was easer than last year, then she was only looking for a way out, she lead my Sister and myself quite a dance through parts of the home we hadn’t seen before; we only got Mum into the dinning hall because they were having wine with the lunch; just for Mum’s birthday!

Some sort of entertainment is organised in the lounge every day, they have singing twice each week and Mum loves that, the problem is that it is great when it’s happening but a minute or two after it is lost to her; and the visiting children are told ‘there’s nothing here’ Twice I’ve seen Mum singing, those are the times we can see Mum looking really happy, and she is still quite good with the puzzle games; so for us we need to remember the wider life in the home.

So my visit to Portsmouth was to a point positive, Mum was not that much changed, she eats much better in the home and we all know she is safe; and as her doctor put it ‘she is as happy as she can be’ Not live as we would chose but the best we can manage.
It’s always good to spend time with my Sister and Brother-in-law; and it’s nice to walk a different street now and then …..

Last updated September 12, 2014