The Heart that Softens as it Constricts in Everyday Ramblings

I took this whimsical picture in 2009 just this time of year wandering around the old neighborhood with an old camera. For some reason it spoke to me in terms of those times we find ourselves unexpectedly deep in self-reflection. Saturday I was wandering around the old neighborhood running some errands and decided to go visit some of my favorite gardens and the places Mr. Finch and I used to walk, letting go now that Sammy is gone too.

All the ties that bind me are slowly loosening. Or at least that bind me to that part of my life lived across town. As the weather begins to turn and the exuberant growth of spring and early summer fades and goes dormant it is a natural time to be self-reflective.

Also, returning to Women’s Circle tonight I have been thinking about summing up my summer in a few brief phrases for our check-in.

I had quality time with the family, extended and deepened my yogic studies, let my studio commitment go, got a new age spot on my face (eek) to prove I have been out walking a lot and listening to not only all of the Louise Penny Gamache mysteries but also the History of Philosophy (I am at Aristotle now). I am pet-less for the first extended time in 21 years.

This fall I am taking my certification in senior yoga (I am learning about the constriction of connective tissue that makes us look older when we walk as we age) and continuing with my caregiver class and private sessions with students, spending more quality time with the family.

I hope to take a trip up to Canada next spring and San Francisco (f I can swing it financially) before I take on a kitten or two.

Because, of course I will.

This weekend after some investigative work last week I have decided not to try to set myself up in additional weeknight yoga classes until January. I am truly enjoying the free time. Thinking about poetry (as is obvious from my recent posts) and I want to get out and see some birds this migration season.

And what I won’t mention tonight (because I am considering leaving the group) is that I also want to work on a sense of connection to something and someone(s) both in the actual real world and in my spiritual life. I am spending too much time alone and I know that isn’t good for me.

Not for someone with as vivid an imagination as me.

Speaking of which, how can you guys that are watching Game of Thrones stand it? It is so rich and lush and viscerally violent. I mean, the scene at the end of the first episode where the child you have already grown attached to gets shoved out a window haunted me literally for days… I don’t know if I can continue to watch it. And the wolf at the end of the second episode? Oh, not to mention the beheading of the poor guy that was scared after seeing the doll creatures…

The bad guys are so very very bad even though they were chosen to look beautiful.

I guess as I mature I realize life throws enough challenges at us, I don’t need to purposefully expose myself to the representation (no matter how imaginary) of more.

I am getting tender in my dotage.

Remind me to write about my wonderful experience at the library this weekend… okay?

Last updated September 08, 2014