Thoughts on Steiner in Journal

“I previously said that we should relate to children until puberty in such a way that they recognize us as an authority, that they accept something because someone standing next to them who is visibly an authority requests it and wants it. If we accustom children to accepting the truth simply because we as authorities present it to them, we will prepare them properly for having free and independent reasoning later in life. If we do not want to serve as an authority figure for the child and instead try to disappear so that everything has to develop out of the child’s own nature, we are demanding a capacity for reason too early, before what we call the astral body becomes free and independent at puberty. We would be working with the astral body by allowing it to act upon the physical nature of the child. In that way we will impress upon the child’s physical body what we should actually only provide for his soul. We are preparing something that will continue to have a damaging effect throughout the child’s life.”

This is more or less describing the ideal natural parent. A peaceful parent- or one who never used force, violence, intimidation, coercion, withdrawal, etc- stands as an ideal for the child. From the parents’ integrity to virtue, the child feels respect. It is easy, natural, and expected that integrity will yield respect in others. Most especially children, since they are completely unspoiled. The emotion and reaction of the child is particularly pure, very natural, as close to true and undiluted as we can ever hope to encounter. The ideal natural human being.
Humility, I think, is absolutely essential in accepting this. The parent; a biased, hurt, power-hungry authority, must have just an enormous amount of humility to admit that the child has perfect human-ness. For us, the child has a level of virgin humanity that we can never hope to regain. For us, it was beaten, or screamed at, or hated, or shamed, or some horrible thing which inevitably leaves us less than pure. We survived, and that is good. But survival came at a cost. And we can never go back to regain that payment made toward our survival. We can heal, but we can never be as we would have been without abuse.
And that feels so horribly unjustifiably wrong. It is wrong. It’s absolutely wrong that I have to pay they price for surviving abuse. And it’s wrong to expect my child to pay that price. Evil, really. It is evil for a parent to punish a child but never hold their adult parents responsible.

And to witness that pure human being is… Something so powerfully deep. It’s an absolute lie if any parent says they never feel the temptation to curb it. To take it up and mold it as they see fit. To exercise control. To keep it, to tame it. To just allow a little loose temper. To allow just a little vitriol. To spank the child just to teach him a lesson.
There is real integrity in admitting that temptation, but in removing it from any possibility. To acknowledge it, and know that it is an invitation from the devil. This is what the child sees. This is what the child respects. This is true authority.