this is my inside voice in poetry

this is my inside voice
this IS my inside voice!
this is all I have
this is what The Great Magnet gave me
this is what I have to work with

this IS my inside voice
oh God, you should see how loud I get
when I’m sitting at a ball game
heckling some poor bastard on the other side
until the catcher tries jumping the fence
screaming “COME AT ME, FAT BOY, COME AT ME!”
it’s about a thousand times louder than this
just go on the mixing board, brother
and crank it down by about half
this is my inside voice
this is all I’ve got

this is my inside voice
you don’t understand
I’ve tried quieting down
I’ve tried being normal
I’ve tried being small
my family meaning well
has always told me to try
I’ve spent a full adult’s life
trying to be quiet as a normal
get a good job at a desk
answer phones for some company
I have tried my god-damnedest
and all that trying has gotten me
was going broke on both coasts
but this is my voice
this is all I’ve got
time to double-down on who I am
gigantic booming and half-crazy
go loud or go away
go weird or go live under a bridge
go big or go home
this is my inside voice
and I’m gonna have to just own it
and hope that the Magnet will smile upon me
despite it
because of it
this is my inside voice
and I won’t fucking pipe down
certainly not now
not now with a half a chance left
and not a god-fucked thing to lose

this is my inside voice
and I think it’s okay