As a fetish in A transparent lockbox

Recently something has been brought to my attention. My appearance is androgynous, it isn’t something that I consciously fostered, it is just what I’m drawn to I guess. There have just been more instances lately where I have been hit on and told that my “andro look” is beautiful and confusing. That just happened a month or so ago. But lately, it has clicked within my brain that I’ve been and continue to be fetishized for it. In reflection, it makes so much sense. Bisexuals love me and insecure men are drawn to me. Does it make you feel like more of a man to want somebody like me? You want me, but you don’t want to know me, just to use me. My skin is just a mask for your inferiority complex, my appearance is just an accessory. My soul though? That is out of the question. There is just an expectation that comes along with my appearance that I will behave a specific way, as an object of desire, and not as a person which infuriates me whenever I try to connect with people. I now just foster a resentment for everything I supposedly stand for.

Last updated December 20, 2023