Thursday. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I started my new job on Tuesday. It’s going well. I really do like it and it’s pretty fun. The time goes pretty fast as well. I’m not in my daughter’s group because my boss said that she doesn’t want me to be ‘Mom’ at school. I completely understand. I do see my daughter and she’s excited that I’m there. Yesterday was day 2 and I definitely felt some anxiety at the start of my shift but everyone seems to be more welcoming than my first day.

I do like it and plan to be there awhile. It’s pretty laid back and there’s not much to it. The hardest part is knowing all the kids’ names. I’ve seen a couple adults definitely get annoyed but overall, everyone is pretty chill.

I work today and then we won’t have to be there tomorrow because I guess there’s a Christmas party. I started too late to probably be invited but I don’t care to go anyways. I’m glad that this is my last day until after Christmas break. I’m definitely tired but I think probably overstimulated because I’ve already been up a couple of hours.

On Tuesday while I was there waiting for daughter to come strolling in to her program, I get the email that he failed to appear in court and they will be issuing a warrant. There’s also no court date on the 21st, like he told my brother. He’s just completely lied again. I just hope if they put him in jail again that they don’t let him out for free because obviously that was fucking stupid. But yeah, he still isn’t going to pay and will probably just have another warrant like he did this last time for 2 years.

I just hope that he’s going to be held responsible at some point in my daughter’s lifetime. I do wish that he helped with his child and what not but he won’t and doesn’t have to. I’ve been on Google and it says the more he owes, the more severe the punishment is going to be. I honestly don’t even want the money anymore, I’d like to see him go to jail and rot. This guy has done everything he can to control me and make my life way harder than it ever needed to be and he still won’t stop.

He lies in order to keep buying himself time. He also can’t act like he didn’t know when his court date was because I got a text from my brother the next morning stating that he had court on the 21st. I hope my brother feels pretty dumb because he’s sat and listened to the fucking lies too. This is just insane how someone could lie this much and won’t stop.

I’ve gotten my daughter to school and I’m enjoying my coffee. I’m going to make cheeseburgers for dinner and then take a shower. Today is my last day of work until the break starts. My daughter said she’s sad that this is the last day but we are both ready for a break. I definitely worry about keeping us busy but we’ll get through it.

I’m almost ready for work. I need to buy some gum. My daughter likes to go through it very quickly. I also wish I knew where all my lip gloss is but she gets into it so I hide it and then not remember where I put it.

I was putting makeup on thinking about how he used to talk about moving in and then once he came to the realization that wasn’t going to happen, he was adamant about getting her social. Probably so he could get on housing and food stamps and be able to claim her on taxes to fuck me over. None of that happened so I think now he’s hoping I’m going to just roll over and accept that he’s not going to pay but maybe I’ll move him in because then at least he’d be present. He doesn’t probably understand that I remember all the times he came around just to pick fights with me and then wouldn’t help with his child unless he could weaponize it. There is no way I could fucking live like that.

My friend and I have talked about that whole moving in thing and I remember telling her that I’m not trying to cohabitate with someone I don’t like that I don’t get along with and I also don’t want my daughter to have a really tense living situation. The guy has never held down a job and there’s no reason why he would living with us. He would have even less reason to parent or work because he’s used to me doing it all.