Feelings in 2024... the year of big changes

After 4 months I finally gave him his Christmas/Birthday gift. He said he loved it. He had been wanting that for a while but never bought it. I guess I kinda knew him only a month and a half to two months in. Made me feel good.

I have had very strong feelings for him since the start of it all. We both admitted it to each other a while ago but not since. Feelings are stronger now than before. I want to be there for him. I want to take care of him. I want to love him.

I have thought about it. I have said before that I will never marry again. I don’t think I’ll get the option again however if he were to get to a point where he could and wanted to, I would. I haven’t been able to tell him that yet. Today was a busy day at work. I’ll wait until maybe Friday. Or I never will.

He’s hurt right now. He has a bad back. He does stupid things. Typical male. He got meds that knocked him for a loop yesterday. Today he still wasn’t feeling very good but he was there. I told him once I sell this house and move he is going to take some off to heal. I will tend to him. He doesn’t like that idea but I do. Maybe he’s never had anyone want to take care of him.

Once again I love this guy. We got to have sex in my bed for the second time ever. We got to cuddle. We got to cuddle naked. Hoping for many more of these type of interactions. He says there will be. It takes a lot for me to invite people into my house. He said he knows and is good with it.

I second guess everything after my last relationship. The ex convinced me no one will want to be with me. No one will want me. Kinda proving that wrong with him. The ex really did a number on me.

Ok this is long enough.