The car. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I called and they aren’t going to be able to get it in until Monday or Tuesday. I don’t even know how to begin processing this information. My daughter has been screaming at me all day because she’s bored. I don’t even know how to be without a car for another week. It’s already been a couple of days. Now I get to worry about how much I’m going to spend getting a Lyft to get her to school and home next week. I’m so angry that it just had to break before a fucking holiday because that just delays me having it back.

I feel really depressed. It’s honestly crazy how your entire life revolves around having a car. All I do is sit and think about how we’re going to get around and how I’m going to keep her entertained until Monday when there’s school again. My brother did run us to the store so I got food and kitty litter. I seriously just need to sit down and have a really good cry. I’m so frustrated that this happened. I just wish I had the money to go buy another car. I don’t even know what exactly is wrong or how much the bill is going to be.

I don’t think I could be any more stuck than I am right now. I just feel awful. I understand that things have to happen to keep you humble but I’m as humble as a person could be. I don’t want much out of life other than my daughter to be happy, have a home, and a car. I don’t think that’s asking for much. I really thinking that I’d get my car back today but then to hear it’s going to be another week is just too much to take.

In the midst of my car being broke down, he’s wanting to take her out to eat tonight. I made sure my brother understood that I don’t think it’s a good idea. My daughter has told me multiple times that they smoke in the car when they have her. I don’t want her to get another ear infection because I’M THE ONE to take her to get seen, give her medicine twice a day for 10 days, and take care of her when she doesn’t feel good. I also don’t want to worry about him sitting there badmouthing me. I just think it’s ridiculous that I’ve let him take her against my better judgment and she comes home and tells me every horrible thing he’s said about me.

I find it absolutely maddening that no one thinks these things are a fucking problem! Probably because they aren’t me and they aren’t the ones to pay the price when he’s been around her. I have more than enough on my plate right now and I’m not signing up for any more. Everyone who just brushes this shit off is also part of the problem in my opinion. I’m also pissed that I never got any explanation for the dog shit, the gummies, or the pull ups. I don’t feel that my child is safe around these people and until there’s a court order, I have no plans for her to go with him again.

The guy is an absolute nightmare and he’s never going to stop creating problems in my life as long as it’s allowed. He doesn’t care how this affects his child, as long as he’s getting at me. I also don’t want to have any contact with him or that girl and if they have my child, I would have to talk to them. I’d rather we just leave all this shit alone. I’m extremely pissed that no matter how reasonable and fair I am, he just takes advantage of it. It’s like ANY kind of contact with this person is chaos. I’d just feel better if anyone ever acted like they understood my concerns and why I’m just done.