Imposter Syndrome.. in A Day in the Life of Me

Having it big time these past few weeks.
Stupid shit I’ve done at work making my brain think the boss(es) 1- hate me, 2-I’m going to be fired or 3 - at least severely reprimanded, and 4- that I don’t belong there…
Worst part....I just passed my 2 year mark… Which kind of explains it....
About a month back, we had a file that senior partner was looking for that I had done some closing work on and the file has gone missing.. yet the financial folder and the unfinished work sheet were in the box where the file should have been ..it wasn’t supposed to have bee. Shredded yet.. but as we can’t find it… that’s all we can assume happened..but I know I had Q’s which is why it was set aside with the other two pieces..
It must have somehow gotten separated from then and i put it to shred....
She’s came out and said to me to stop panicking, because it must have been HIM (sub they hired for two weeks back in August that we ended up stuck with until October) that did it....and she would not accept my “no I’m pretty sure it’s my fault” response because he was ‘known for overstepping ‘.
That was the BIG thing..

These past two weeks.,.. well little dumb stuff....I told a previous client (YEARS past) we only had one form on file form her file that was closed MANY years ago, and she wrote back with her consult forms saying something there was info left off cause we could find it on an agreement that we should have of file..... I wrote back to say again, we only have X form, do you want to refill the paper work out” told S.P. she kinda laid into me saying (fairly) saying I should have asked first before sending the response I told her i sent. It’s become a kerfuffle now that may or may not get resolved.... But also we think she’s crazy so it might not matter either way.
The second was I was told somebody over the phone who kept nattering in my ear while I was trying to solve an issue for them to calm down Soni could, and now they’re pissed and won’t reschedule and.... we’re not sad… Younger partner was actually ecstatic about it… Said it sounded like we dodged a bullet with that one. They were upset because they weren’t given the option to book with somebody else in office the day of their appointment because Junior was sick and couldn’t see them in person and they were also mad because they informed us an hour before their appointment that they wanted to support person with them which is something we normally require minimal 24 hours notice of. Then they were bitching at me over the phone about how shitty the form I was trying to fix was, and I eventually said that I needed them to calm down for a minute so I could resolve the issue.
Yes I probably could have phrased it better but on the plus side there was much Ruder things I wanted to say that I didn’t.. I’m not really in trouble for that one thankfully but it still sent my anxiety through the roof with them nattering in my ear over and over and over and huffing when I gave an answer they didn’t like.

I was so rattled last weekend over the email one that I was basically in an anxiety/panic attack all weekend, to the point I picked a mini hole in my eyebrow again, and dug out my weighted blanket…

Sorry I know I haven’t written in a while and when I do right I just seem to be complaining. Took me a couple of days to catch up on all the reading because apparently I haven’t logged on since before december. Guess it’s what I had get for having most of you on my Facebook LOL…
I’ll try to do better.
Both here and work LOL.

Plus side.. I’ve been there 2 YEARS!
I have more to write about… But I’ll leave that for another entry.