That's a lot of in Journal

Woolies

And not even all of them.

I’m not sure what I want to write. DH and I have had a lot of conversations, deep and.. exhausting. I’m so tired. It is a good tired. Like the tired after swimming in a lake. But knowing there are a lot more laps to take is also tiring.

We are revamping some of our holiday traditions. My FOO always had the tree up before Thanksgiving. I don’t think we will. I think I will put more emphasis on advent, saint Lucia, saint Nickolas, the 12 days of Christmas, and epiphany.
We just got done with Martinmas- which was simple, nice and more of an inward-meditation than anything. I am beginning to feel and appreciate the simple reverence in awareness of certain historical people who exemplified a particular virtue.
I feel drawn to identify what I am- and to connect with others. I’m an atheist, but I do not share values with atheists. I feel that we are very unusual in the world. Or values as a family are quite Christian-protestant. Even though DH grew up Catholic. He views it as a weird cult. And I agree. Catholicism is really weird, even as a Christian I didn’t understand why anyone would pray to Mary or whomever human that wasn’t God. And as a rational person with Christian values, it’s difficult to find friends. We attended church for a while, until we interviewed the pastor there and he revealed that his son is estranged.
I don’t know how he can possibly rationalize his position in leading a church when he is incapable of leading his own family. The sad part is, he doesn’t. Here made no attempt to address it whatsoever. The one verse about the lone lost sheep comes to mind.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned that we met a very cool family at forest school. My son is friends with the 2 boys and our baby girls are very close in age, too. They’re homeschooling, vax free raw milk enthusiasts just like us, 😂 she’s also a pastor’s wife 😳 I admit I have not delved into that topic with her. I’m on the fence about how involved we want to be- I’m fine with once weekly forest school for 2-4 hours.
Recently I was devastated to find out that all the young mom’s I was taking to in a group came out as pro punishment. I was secretly hopeful, and I had broached the topic a number of times, but none of them opened up. It’s weird that when one of them asks about a problem with her baby, they are all jumping in to suggest various punishments. As of this is a bonding moment for the mom’s against their babies. Reminds me of women throwing their marriage and children’s lives in the gutter and random internet NPCs chanting “slay kween”
As if no one is aware of the barely concealed hatred and contempt for marriage and children behind the chanting. It’s as if these young mother’s want to ignore the obvious hatred they have for honest expression and negotiation.