Tuesday. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’m having a pretty good day so far. I made breakfast before I got my daughter to school and then went to my thing. I got there an hour earlier than usual so I could leave sooner. I was absolutely exhausted sitting there and was super glad when it was time to go. My friend called while I was there but I couldn’t answer. I’ll be able to talk tomorrow because I don’t have to be there until after another appointment.

I’m finally within an hour of the appointment that I’m dreading. I really hope I won’t be there long and can’t wait until it’s over. I plan to leave here in about 30 minutes. I went to pick up medications but some of them aren’t ready. I left a message with my nurse but haven’t heard back yet. I’m getting upset because now I have to wait and then make another trip over there. I have no doubt they’ll call when I’m at this appointment and I won’t be able to answer.

I never did text my little brother back about coming over. He sent a text a few minutes ago but I didn’t respond. I just don’t like him and the way he behaves. He’s honestly scary and crazy. I’m sorry that he wasn’t raised better but it’s not my problem. I also don’t like having to tell him to leave because he doesn’t take hints. There’s so much he could do but chooses not to. He also has a serious issue with control and everything is going to go his way. I just get really sick of being around people that make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe. I just can’t stand feeling like that.

Unlike my older brother, I do have sympathy for him. I understand that he never got to go to school and he’s got issues. He’s been raised around selfishness and aggressive shit his whole life and doesn’t know how else to interact. This is all he’s been shown and how he’s been allowed to behave. I don’t know how many times he’s scared the crap out of me and my child. I am not going to risk that happening in my own home, whether my child is here or not. He makes me really uncomfortable because anything you say could set him off. He’s got a super short fuse, can’t take a joke, and is ready to come unhinged at any moment.