Feelings? in Me Being Me

I am finding that except for a small group of people I really don’t care about the rest. I find when I try to reach out and ask questions I never ever get an answer and that makes me wonder if this person or people are even worth my time. There is some people that I will do what it takes to make sure they are okay to my satisfaction. And every now and then I will have an actual conversation with them. People like my son. He says he loves me very much but I think he has AHDAD and he says he forgets a lot and that is why the only conversations I have with him is when I start them or when he is here. But then he has started a writing career and seems to be doing pretty good. So him I forgive just because he is family. And when people here have nothing to say I often wonder why don’t answer my questions or say something about what I wrote? I do know everyone has something to say about everything and even if you have to bite your tongue and pretend to not hate me or yell at me. But then I can only hope that I haven’t pissed you off too much where you want nothing to do with me.
I have blocked another person whop has come back and he said he was going to block me when he found me but he is such an idiot that he doesn’t even remeber who I am. How can people forget so easlily? Everyone I have blocked I rmeber who they are and their id’s and I have a horrible memeory so why can I do it and these people can’t?
The thing I don’t get is people tell me I compalin about the same things over and over again and that is true. But then you also compalin about the same things also and then you say how greatful you are for this and that. But are you really? or are you just saying that? The reason I complain is because I am looking for solutions and it takes me a long while before I actually can do something about it or them. And I like to think that the way I come to the realization that there are just some people who are more pathetic then I am they are still doing nothing to fix their situation. Why is it I have to but you don’t? The thing with my situation there is no one who has had the same situation so just because you woulkd do this or that I might not have the money or have the threat of eviction and no one has ever had to do what I am doing. And it’s easy to say that you would move but where would you move to? and how would you afford the rent? If you can’t afford the rent where you are then what makes you able to pay somewhere else? The rents here are just horrible even with the law that says rent can only go up 3.25% it might only be $20.00 more but that money will be taken from something else like your electricity and heat so then what do you do? Here is a question for you? If you have to budget your monthly income and you get the same amount for rent no matter where you live how can you afford to live where it costs more? What do you do without? And then you forget the cost for the moving truck and the extra money for the new service for your new electricy and phone, unless you have a cell phone then you just need to tell them your address and you have to change your id and car insurance. It’s a bloody pain in the ass and time consuming. And I just don’t have the money for this right now. But when the time is right I will be giving my notice and moving. And when I do leave any thing I bought for the appliences I will be taking. Like the elemnt dripers and the screen for the dryer and anything else like the chandelier.

Onto something else…

Tonight is going to be chilli not sure how much I will eat but I will have at least a table spoon full.

Well, I need to stop here…
Do have a great day…
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated November 04, 2023