Monday in Since OD is shutting down....

I didn’t want to get up this morning. This cold weather really does something to me. Got my daughter up and to school. Once we got there, I realized we forgot her back pack. Thankfully she doesn’t really need it. We got new glasses over the weekend but couldn’t find them as we exited the car but I have since found them so she can take them tomorrow. I went to my thing and was only there about an hour and a half because I had an appointment. I sat there for like 30 minutes just for the guy to tell me that with disability, no news is good news and for me to get ahold of them if I get another denial.

Tomorrow I have an interview right after I get my kid to school. I’m definitely wishing I would have scheduled it for today to get it over with but I’m always really grumpy Monday morning. I had my kid for the last 3 days with the exception of that an hour and a half she went with her big sister so I’m good to just have a little break. I don’t have to go to my thing tomorrow because I have my interview and then ‘counseling’ right after. I should be okay on hours though because I’ll be there the rest of the week. I have a dr appointment Thursday morning but that’s at 10 so I can come home and just relax before I go to that.

I’m definitely wanting to find a job soon. I just worry about schedules over the holidays but I’ll cross that bridge when the time comes. I worry about Summer because even if she gets into that program, it doesn’t run until school starts but that’s away from now so I will just have to figure it out later.

But yeah, I just feel that since I’m not to ask him for anything than he shouldn’t be asking to take her trick or treating either. I also get annoyed with my brother because it’s like he gets on an idea and won’t listen to truth, the past, or even logic. I am not worried about my daughter becoming a teenager and wanting to hang around with him because who knows where we will even be living when that times comes.

It’s really bullshit that I’m to roll over and accept that he won’t be an active co parent, doesn’t pay CS, won’t get enrolled but I should just let him see her when he gets around to it when it just causes serious problems. I’m tired of being made to feel selfish for wanting to just look out for my child and myself. I need to get a fucking job and make my own living and for that to happen, I need for my daughter to attend school and not be problematic. I went through this last year and it was fucking awful. He came around, told her what he needed to in order to cause drama and then it really fucked shit up for 6 weeks!!

I think the next time my brother tells me that he wants to see her, I’m going to let him know that he can arrange to have lunch with her at school or I’m willing to drop her off with him and he can meet up with him. I just don’t want to worry about him being alone with her to tell her negative things about me. There’s just too many concerns with him seeing her but we can arrange to make it happen where I don’t have to be around him and him having the chance to make things terrible.