Pressed in Current Events

I can feel that I am closing in on a breaking point. My fragile little mind needs some rest. I really have been going nonstop since August. Between starting school and a new job I’ve been keeping myself busy with family and friends. I am giving this weekend to myself and that homestretch is so close it hurts.

I am so tired of being tired. I have to take my grandmother shopping right away. I told her that I wanted to have some coffee before I left. I get to take my grandmother shopping, I should say. My mother asked for my help with that and I am happy to do it. I was thinking about when we had our last healthcare with her. I helped my mother move my grandmother into her new apartment. We didn’t know if she was actually going to get a chance to live in it. We were strong until we started unpacking her clothes and put them away. Something about touching her clothing felt intimate. It was so sad. She pulled through. We could order her groceries but this is her day out. It’s snowing pretty badly out there and I wasn’t able to talk her out of it. It will be fine.

I still have to study, finish cleaning from the trip, do meal prep and start my own grocery list today. I really want to take a detox bath and do a coffee enema. Then my projects which have been on the back burner. I really need to do something for myself. Think my own thoughts for a bit. When I have time I have things that require my attention. I have to worry about studying and things like that. I’m only responsible for myself and I feel like I need an assistant. I can’t even imagine trying to balance kids. I am just so strung out over nothing, really. I think I’m just jaded because my roommate crashed my last scheduled me-day by staying home from work sick. The nerve!

My shoulder has been acting up again. The ancient injury that haunts me. I made it to the gym last night. I did a pull day. Tomorrow will be push. On leg day there will be no mercy. If I stop taking creatine for too long this is what happens. #Trash. I don’t let it stop me from doing things which could be part of the problem.

I could be doing something more productive at this moment but I needed to air out. I should get on with it then. Start heading out.