Zzzzz in Current Events

I went to bed at 5:30 last night. That’s 5:30 PM. Can we even call that “last night.” I said I was tired. I also said that I had a million things to do. After I took my grandmother shopping, I dealt with everything on the balcony. I put tarp over the furniture and brought my roommates bike inside. Then I ate a whole box of spring rolls, 30pcs. Then I said goodbye to the cruel world.

I felt bad that I left the kitchen a complete disaster. A disaster by my standards. My room is a pigsty was well. I ain’t got time for shit. Whenever I have time I just want to rest. Then I get mad at myself for being a lazy twat. My roommate cleaned up my mess in the kitchen. She must have felt it was fair as I did the balcony. I also dug out the Christmas tree. I’ll make room for it tomorrow. I have class tonight. I also have to make a chili for a cook off tomorrow at work. My supervisor asked us for ideas on raising money for a charity and I suggested that. Then I got put in charge of it. FML.

My contract with the position I’m in is up in a couple months. I have to get up the nerve to ask my supervisor what the score is. She said they would review at the end of the contract to see if they will make it permanent. I decided that I won’t go back to the previous location. I will just transfer to the store side. It’s going to be shift work. I was planning on doing it when I go to university anyway. Theoretically that will be this time next year. I have my sights set on being a department supervisor.

It doesn’t feel like it was enough sleep. I need a day in bed. That’s going to be on Saturday baby. Well, I’ll still go to the gym but when I get back I’m overdosing on CBD and playing Skyrim the whole day. I’m also going to fast that day. Maybe the gym can wait… if my sister invites me over I will definitely do that. It’s been three weeks since I’ve seen her kids. Since thanksgiving I believe. I miss their little faces. I miss my other sister and her niece as well. I keep thinking about them. Then I start to miss my brother and I want to throw caution to the wind and just go fly out to BC to visit him and meet my nephews. My cousin, whom I took in when he was 17, is out there too. He has two kids. He had problems at home and was ready to drop out of school to support himself. He’s from a rough part of town and got a free ride to a private school. He’s a smart kid. A Capricorn. I took him in because I didn’t want him to drop out.

After my previous entry, I remembered the last time I felt super strung out. I was a full time nanny for my niece during the day and then worked full time evening and weekends at my work. Then when my niece got into daycare I woke up with her and got her to daycare for them. Then I had to move and everything happened so fast. A year later I started remembering my niece as a baby. Our rides to daycare. Our mornings together. Our days together. I started sobbing in the car on my ride home from work. Then off and on for hours. I never got a chance to grieve leaving her. Of course, I see her all the time. She’s 8 now. She’s a whole little person now.

Anyway, gotta finish my coffee and figure out what I’m bringing to work for lunch.

Last updated October 31, 2023