oct 30 in poetry

A parody of LL Cool J’s “Mama Said Knock You Out” about Conan the Barbarian starting with the line “Don’t call it a Crom back / I’ve no tongue for prayers”.

Sometimes the ancient gods would have multiple realms of influence that seemed randomly unconnected or even contradictory, like Kahlahdmann, the god of both sustenance and destruction. Yes, he would bring you refreshment but he’d take out a wall bringing it.

Everyone thinks by the time society collapses or the climate crisis bursts, they’ll either be a sheltered libertarian prepper feudal lord or on Mars with the rich folks. They won’t be, of course, but every day they live like that brings us closer to one of those two outcomes.

A holiday to make fun of washed-up actors who espouse extreme-right-wing views in a vain attempt to maintain some kind of career in the Christian direct-to-video shovelware industry: Cinco de Baio.

Was there a porno parody of “Parks and Recreation” called “Parks and Procreation”? There should’a been.

If only you could get a working rhyme scene, a parody of “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” about “50 Films With Danny Glover” would be goddamned amazing.

Robots with indigestion use Pepto Bism-Oil.

A Beck parody about the old man getting his nice hat all like “Two weird scepters and a giant throne, two weird scepters and a giant throne, two weird scepters and a giant throne…”